[gasolinerainbow]

My best friend and I used to have identical proportions, both 5ft 1, 32G, 23" waist... And we're both vegetarian.

After the end of a long-term relationship I suffered from terrible depression. I went from 32G to 32C in 6 months. I kept getting all kinds of infections, losing weight and I went down from 112 lbs to 84 lbs.

2 years on, I've regained all the weight I lost (and 11 lbs extra!) but not on my breasts I'm now a 34B and 28" waist. My metabolism has slowed right down (I had to leave the circus and give up martial arts due to an injury at the same time as the break up) and I feel like some kind of chemical balance as changed altogether. I assumed my body would go back to how it used to be but it it hasn't happened.

My new partner has commented on my breast size (or lack of) by comparing me to a well endowed friend of his and saying he wished I had big boobs like her. I've never had my confidence knocked like that; now I obsess about my breasts and I hate my boyfriend touching them or looking at me naked.

I would seriously consider surgery but I can't afford it and quite frankly I would be embarrased to have fake breasts. I've always been a strong feminist and even by looking at NBE I feel as though I'm trying to conform to a female gender stereotype by increasing my bust size. At the same time I just want to have the figure I used to have and I want to feel comfortable around my partner everytime I see my best friend, or the woman I was compared to, or in fact anyone with larger breasts than mine, I feel jealous. My episodes of depression are acute and frightening; all this obsessing seems to be dragging me into another episode and to think it could all be avoided if my breasts would bloomin' grow! ARGHHHH.

All that aside, I really don't have the money to spend on, well, anything really, so most of this just prospective :'( nevertheless here's my plan of action;

I tried taking 2x Fenugreek AM and PM for a month.
I also massaged for 15 mins 3x daily, did breast exercises and drank plenty of fennel tea.
I did not expect immediate results but I knew it wasn't working for me so I have composed an entirely new plan...

Milk Thistle x2, AM + PM for a week to cleanse.

Then...

Birth-control pill (will run 4 packs consecutively)
Pituitary x1, AM + PM
L-Tyrosine x1 AM + PM
Raw Adrenal x1, AM + PM
PM x2, AM + PM
Protein shake
Wild Yam x2, AM + PM
Saw palmetto x2, AM + PM
Some kind of Collagen supplement
Plenty of water
And Fennel Tea
No alcohol or caffeine :'(
May have to take fish oil supplements... I don't eat fish and I consider this breaking my vegetarianism but it might improve my general health condition so maybe I really ought to?
Massage AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE
Breast exercises 30 mins daily

I can't currently afford this but I'll find a way
Also, some of these things may contradict each other. I've researched so many different methods that I've probably got a bit jumbled. If there are any obvious clashes please let me know.

IF THIS FAILS AND I DON'T HAVE EVEN THE SLIGHTEST TINGLING SENSATION AFTER... Hmm... 4 months...

I will replace PM with BO or BB (urghh I might as well eat dead animals if I'm going to do this... might as well... but I won't)
And at kelp x2 AM

IF THIS PROVES UNSUCCESSFUL after 6 months...

I'll invest in a Noogleberry and up the intake of collagen supplements.

All the while listening to the Rockmelon ringtone for 1 hr a day (on the bus)... Why not?

Before I begin any of this however, I need to finish my drastic weight loss diet (it's not drastic at all... I like my food) because if I have a smaller waist my boobs will hopefully look proportionally bigger.

Wish me an awful lot of luck! If I don't get my previous bra size back I have wasted a horrendous amount of money on underwear that I don't have the heart to throw out

xx