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Do you think it's rude to ask someone if they eat? Or am I just overreacting....

#1
Question 

True scenario ladies....

Today, while I was working doing the usually taking out the trash and what not while suddenly, two old women who were sitting near me wanted me to come over to them. Now, I thought they were simply going to complain about their food and ask to exchange it or something... They've told me to come closer and asked me "Do you eat?". I honestly had no idea how to react at first, I've NEVER had someone ask me that question before... I found it to be an odd and rude question to ask anyone, especially if you're naturally thin... For crying out loud! I know I'm thin, but not to a point where I look like I starve myself!!!! Dodgy Angry

Bottom line is, after that lovely convo, my self esteem has been thrown out the window Sad I felt extremely embarrassed afterwards (especially because there was a bunch of guys sitting right beside them...)

Alrighty, what do you ladies think? Am I simply overreacting? Or was that question those two women asked was rather rude? Dodgy
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#2

If you're standing there having that conversation, OBVIOUSLY, you eat!! Otherwise, you'd have been dead LONG ago!!!! Your stomach would've probably eaten itself!!
There's at least two ways to answer this question: 1. Say, "I never STOP eating!!" Then eye up their food and either ask if you can have some, or, as you're talking, just start eating from their plate!
Or, B. "No, I NEVER eat!! Eating is bad for you!! I never even drank any of mom's breast milk!! Do you eat? WOW!! No WONDER you look so old!! See all those wrinkles and grey hair?? THAT'S because you EAT!!!! Eating should be banned for ALL times!! We'd be SO much better off and more healthy if we'd just STOP eating!!!!"
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#3

(17-12-2014, 06:45 AM)Missed Miss Wrote:  If you're standing there having that conversation, OBVIOUSLY, you eat!! Otherwise, you'd have been dead LONG ago!!!! Your stomach would've probably eaten itself!!
There's at least two ways to answer this question: 1. Say, "I never STOP eating!!" Then eye up their food and either ask if you can have some, or, as you're talking, just start eating from their plate!
Or, B. "No, I NEVER eat!! Eating is bad for you!! I never even drank any of mom's breast milk!! Do you eat? WOW!! No WONDER you look so old!! See all those wrinkles and grey hair?? THAT'S because you EAT!!!! Eating should be banned for ALL times!! We'd be SO much better off and more healthy if we'd just STOP eating!!!!"

Girl you are so out there. LMAO
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#4

Lol, I wish I had the guts to say that, Missed Miss Blush . But seriously, that's like me asking a big woman "Do you not eat"? (however, I will never say because I know that's straight up and down rude) I'm pretty sure if I was to ask that question I would have been attacked. Apparently it's aaaaalrighty for ladies who have a lil meat on their bones to insult woman who do not and get away with it but if it was vice versa, all hell breaks loose... Dodgy
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Since, that day, I've been working out and eating more than usual (to the point where my arms hurt from lifting dumbbells and my stomach hurts from eating too much) ... I mean, that comment really got to me Sad but seriously? Who asks someone that? Huh I know my mom asks me if I'm eating okay because, y'know, that's what mothers do~. But to have a person you don't even know to ask a question like that is just wtf?! Now, I know what some of you may be thinking, I shouldn't let that comment get to me, but I'm a bit self conscious about my body to begin with (sometimes I don't bother to look in the mirror to look at my body for too long).

Makes me wonder if there are a bunch of other people I know or I simply say hi to on the streets think I look as though I do not eat... Sad
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#5

from growing up with my gran i know they used to eat full cream and saturated fats, honest to goodness food, my gran used to cook our food in lard..
i imagine in their day women were a lot more buxom because of the diet, not all the processed shit we are bombarded with today.
so coming from a couple of older ladies i wouldn't take it to heart. in my experience theres nothing but slim women around me. and with all the low fat diet promoting adverts all over the media its any wonder women are slim these days.
ps all the older women in my family too have always given me grief over my weight, not stopping to think i don't have a choice in the matter!
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#6

I would be really upset. I used to face this at my last job. Not "do you eat" but they'd look at my healthy foods or see me leave for a run and tell me "if I were your size I'd eat nothing but hamburgers" or "why do you run? You're already so skinny". I wanted to tell them I was skinny/fit because I work out and eat well. The reason they are fat is because of their attitude (they wouldn't work out / eat well). But I always had to keep my mouth shut and fume silently. It's really rude to comment in any way on someone's body unless it's a compliment and you know them really well!
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#7

People just are rude, its just like you say if it would be the other way around the hell would break loose. When i'm shopping in public i see people who are obviously fatter then me watching at my skinny legs its like i see what they think..''you anorexic skinny girl''..and ''why would you wear black youre already so thin.'' When they look at me like that i watch back super arrogant straight in their eyes most off the time they turn their heads as quick as possible.. So that is just my advice, give them what they deserve are they rude are they staring at your skinny bodyparts then give it back to them. Hell get out and dont let these rude people get to you! You have to turn it around, you have to land on the couch and think: ha ha that staring old bitch, now she knows what evilness is. Dont be upset!
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#8

(17-12-2014, 10:31 AM)Arielia Wrote:  
(17-12-2014, 06:45 AM)Missed Miss Wrote:  If you're standing there having that conversation, OBVIOUSLY, you eat!! Otherwise, you'd have been dead LONG ago!!!! Your stomach would've probably eaten itself!!
There's at least two ways to answer this question: 1. Say, "I never STOP eating!!" Then eye up their food and either ask if you can have some, or, as you're talking, just start eating from their plate!
Or, B. "No, I NEVER eat!! Eating is bad for you!! I never even drank any of mom's breast milk!! Do you eat? WOW!! No WONDER you look so old!! See all those wrinkles and grey hair?? THAT'S because you EAT!!!! Eating should be banned for ALL times!! We'd be SO much better off and more healthy if we'd just STOP eating!!!!"

Girl you are so out there. LMAO
Lol!! Thank you! I try.
Sometimes that's your only recourse. Joke `em if they can't take a fuck!!
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#9

(17-12-2014, 03:31 PM)Shanasia Wrote:  Lol, I wish I had the guts to say that, Missed Miss Blush . But seriously, that's like me asking a big woman "Do you not eat"? (however, I will never say because I know that's straight up and down rude) I'm pretty sure if I was to ask that question I would have been attacked. Apparently it's aaaaalrighty for ladies who have a lil meat on their bones to insult woman who do not and get away with it but if it was vice versa, all hell breaks loose... Dodgy
----------------------------------
Since, that day, I've been working out and eating more than usual (to the point where my arms hurt from lifting dumbbells and my stomach hurts from eating too much) ... I mean, that comment really got to me Sad but seriously? Who asks someone that? Huh I know my mom asks me if I'm eating okay because, y'know, that's what mothers do~. But to have a person you don't even know to ask a question like that is just wtf?! Now, I know what some of you may be thinking, I shouldn't let that comment get to me, but I'm a bit self conscious about my body to begin with (sometimes I don't bother to look in the mirror to look at my body for too long).

Makes me wonder if there are a bunch of other people I know or I simply say hi to on the streets think I look as though I do not eat... Sad
Well, for the bigger woman, all you have to do is point your finger at her like you're holding a gun, take that stance and say, "Put.....the fork....down!!!! Alright, Simba, back AWAY from the table and no one will be harmed!!"
But, I know what you mean. This guy I used to work with who was almost as tall as me, would get REALLY pissed when someone would ask him, 1. "How tall are you??" and 2. "Do you play basketball?" He said he'd ask them if they're into midget wrestling or something to do with ponies, I forget what it was. In my case, if they ask, I just tell them how tall I am, and when the basketball question comes, I tell them, "No, drums!" I've also thought of having "business" cards printed that say my height on one side, then the word, "No." on the other. They ask my height, I give them the card, they ask the other question, I flip the card over! It kind of indicates to them that it's kind of a stupid/stereo-typically condescending question (it IS kind of like asking a black person if they like fried chicken and watermelon. Or asking a guy in drag, or that has big tits, if he's gay. You notice someone's most prominent feature and instantly assume they fall into the "worst" specific category such a person COULD be in.) without actually saying so. But, it really doesn't bother me. At least I get to tell more people that I'm a drummer and it starts up a whole new conversation.
Another thing is, I don't tend to think of things said, like in this instance, as an insult. As The Fixx once sang, it's better to lose face. Chances are they DIDN'T mean it as an insult, but I have no idea what inflection they used.
Yeah, the insult wicket IS a sticky one!! What's good for the goose is not always good for the gander, so society dictates. I can't walk up to my singer (a black guy) and call him a nigger and the NCAAP will hear of it!! But he can call me a cracker and that's apparently okay! (Not that we EVER did that, by the way.)
Yeah, to ask, are you eating okay, just shows her concern for you as in: are you getting by alright. She just wants to know if you're not starving and have money to live on, etc.. She's your mom, she's concerned about you. But, I wouldn't stuff myself just because someone may have commented on my lack of girth!! Until a few years ago, except for my arms & legs (drumming for the previous few decades really muscled them up), I was practically rail thin!! If I turned sideways, you wouldn't be able to see me!! Just be yourself!! Don't let others dictate to you what THEY think is good for you!! Do you think for one minute someone else would do what YOU tell them to just because you think they should?
I just don't let people insult me. another guy I used to work with at the same place loved the fact that I'd take an insult and turn it around in some way and fire it right back at the person who threw it at ME. He called it, "Verbal Karate"!! Lol. Put your Robin Williams head on and just have fun with it. ;-)
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#10

Thank you for the feedback guys,


Oops, forgot to add what else they've asked me, brace yourselves, "Do you get in trouble at home for not eating"? Dodgy in the back of my head I was like "WTF?! I am not skinny to the point where my bones are popping out or anything."

I've never told my mom about what happened the other day because I'm afraid if she did, she would've exploded and be like "WHHHAAT?!?! WHAT KIND OF A QUESTION IS THAT?! OH HELL NO, IF I WAS THERE, I WOULD'VE TOLD THOSE OLD **** OFF! YOU DON'T GO ASKING PEOPLE THAT ****! THEY WERE JUST JEALOUS HONEY, YOU LOOK FINE!, PAY THEM NO MIND!" LOL! Big Grin
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