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"Have a Laugh" Thread - Jokes/Video's

#91

(25-09-2015, 12:07 AM)WantAPair Wrote:  I used to know a guy with a REALLY tough parrot!! He wasn't afraid of ANYTHING!! He'd sit on his perch and, with a demonic sounding voice, he'd go, "Here kitty, kitty, kitty!!"

Yeh my olds have got a king parrot. He mimcks the other animals and swears at you when you leave the room. I really want one
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#92

(25-09-2015, 12:12 AM)ELLACRAIG Wrote:  
(25-09-2015, 12:07 AM)WantAPair Wrote:  I used to know a guy with a REALLY tough parrot!! He wasn't afraid of ANYTHING!! He'd sit on his perch and, with a demonic sounding voice, he'd go, "Here kitty, kitty, kitty!!"

Yeh my olds have got a king parrot. He mimcks the other animals and swears at you when you leave the room. I really want one

I'd get insane with a parrot around..mimicking everything..djeez I would so hit him.RolleyesTongue
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#93

(25-09-2015, 03:03 PM)Hannah14 Wrote:  
(25-09-2015, 12:12 AM)ELLACRAIG Wrote:  
(25-09-2015, 12:07 AM)WantAPair Wrote:  I used to know a guy with a REALLY tough parrot!! He wasn't afraid of ANYTHING!! He'd sit on his perch and, with a demonic sounding voice, he'd go, "Here kitty, kitty, kitty!!"

Yeh my olds have got a king parrot. He mimcks the other animals and swears at you when you leave the room. I really want one

I'd get insane with a parrot around..mimicking everything..djeez I would so hit him.RolleyesTongue

Ha ha yeh your not wrong there. I almost ran out to buy a cockatoo but then I thought imagine the mess a big parrot like that would make. Did you watch the clip Hannah? I just piss myself every time I see it
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#94

(25-09-2015, 08:10 PM)ELLACRAIG Wrote:  Ha ha yeh your not wrong there. I almost ran out to buy a cockatoo but then I thought imagine the mess a big parrot like that would make. Did you watch the clip Hannah? I just piss myself every time I see it

My grandmother had a parakeet (not a semikeet or a quasikeet or a pair of keets, just one parakeet) and she would let it fly around in the house. She has this mirror that hangs from a wire on her living room wall, like a painting, but with no frame and the bird was always standing on the top edge of that mirror. It's hung over the couch. Not long after grandma died Christmas Eve 1999, my aunt got the house and decided to clean up a bit. She took the mirror off the wall and moved the couch away and there was TONS of bird shit on the wall, the mirror and on the floor and wall behind the couch!!!! It's a miracle she didn't die from toxicity!!!!

A friend of the family had at least one cockatiel and they kept it in a separate room in their house. My dad's cousin was the chief of police and lived right next door to them and kept telling us about how that bird just squawked all day long!! It also destroyed the room it was in by tearing up all the wallpaper with it's beak!! Dogs and, maybe fish, would be the only pets I'd ever have! Nearly all other animals are too destructive and just don't give a shit about your belongings!
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#95

(26-09-2015, 04:07 AM)WantAPair Wrote:  
(25-09-2015, 08:10 PM)ELLACRAIG Wrote:  Ha ha yeh your not wrong there. I almost ran out to buy a cockatoo but then I thought imagine the mess a big parrot like that would make. Did you watch the clip Hannah? I just piss myself every time I see it

My grandmother had a parakeet (not a semikeet or a quasikeet or a pair of keets, just one parakeet) and she would let it fly around in the house. She has this mirror that hangs from a wire on her living room wall, like a painting, but with no frame and the bird was always standing on the top edge of that mirror. It's hung over the couch. Not long after grandma died Christmas Eve 1999, my aunt got the house and decided to clean up a bit. She took the mirror off the wall and moved the couch away and there was TONS of bird shit on the wall, the mirror and on the floor and wall behind the couch!!!! It's a miracle she didn't die from toxicity!!!!

A friend of the family had at least one cockatiel and they kept it in a separate room in their house. My dad's cousin was the chief of police and lived right next door to them and kept telling us about how that bird just squawked all day long!! It also destroyed the room it was in by tearing up all the wallpaper with it's beak!! Dogs and, maybe fish, would be the only pets I'd ever have! Nearly all other animals are too destructive and just don't give a shit about your belongings!

I had two cockatiels and they are the top of the pantry door little buggers.
Yeh birds do make a dreadful mess. Poos and dust off their wings. Cockies can be veryyyyy loving to their owners if hand raised
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#96

(26-09-2015, 05:04 AM)ELLACRAIG Wrote:  
(26-09-2015, 04:07 AM)WantAPair Wrote:  
(25-09-2015, 08:10 PM)ELLACRAIG Wrote:  Ha ha yeh your not wrong there. I almost ran out to buy a cockatoo but then I thought imagine the mess a big parrot like that would make. Did you watch the clip Hannah? I just piss myself every time I see it

My grandmother had a parakeet (not a semikeet or a quasikeet or a pair of keets, just one parakeet) and she would let it fly around in the house. She has this mirror that hangs from a wire on her living room wall, like a painting, but with no frame and the bird was always standing on the top edge of that mirror. It's hung over the couch. Not long after grandma died Christmas Eve 1999, my aunt got the house and decided to clean up a bit. She took the mirror off the wall and moved the couch away and there was TONS of bird shit on the wall, the mirror and on the floor and wall behind the couch!!!! It's a miracle she didn't die from toxicity!!!!

A friend of the family had at least one cockatiel and they kept it in a separate room in their house. My dad's cousin was the chief of police and lived right next door to them and kept telling us about how that bird just squawked all day long!! It also destroyed the room it was in by tearing up all the wallpaper with it's beak!! Dogs and, maybe fish, would be the only pets I'd ever have! Nearly all other animals are too destructive and just don't give a shit about your belongings!

I had two cockatiels and they are the top of the pantry door little buggers.
Yeh birds do make a dreadful mess. Poos and dust off their wings. Cockies can be veryyyyy loving to their owners if hand raised
Nothing against birds, but I think I'd rather have an aardvark. Maybe a platypus. Or a wombat.
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#97

A squid eating dough in a polyethylene bag is fast and bulbous, got me?
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#98

Turn it up loud!

https://www.facebook.com/z975rocks/video...528125308/
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#99

(26-09-2015, 05:28 AM)WantAPair Wrote:  
(26-09-2015, 05:04 AM)ELLACRAIG Wrote:  
(26-09-2015, 04:07 AM)WantAPair Wrote:  
(25-09-2015, 08:10 PM)ELLACRAIG Wrote:  Ha ha yeh your not wrong there. I almost ran out to buy a cockatoo but then I thought imagine the mess a big parrot like that would make. Did you watch the clip Hannah? I just piss myself every time I see it

My grandmother had a parakeet (not a semikeet or a quasikeet or a pair of keets, just one parakeet) and she would let it fly around in the house. She has this mirror that hangs from a wire on her living room wall, like a painting, but with no frame and the bird was always standing on the top edge of that mirror. It's hung over the couch. Not long after grandma died Christmas Eve 1999, my aunt got the house and decided to clean up a bit. She took the mirror off the wall and moved the couch away and there was TONS of bird shit on the wall, the mirror and on the floor and wall behind the couch!!!! It's a miracle she didn't die from toxicity!!!!

A friend of the family had at least one cockatiel and they kept it in a separate room in their house. My dad's cousin was the chief of police and lived right next door to them and kept telling us about how that bird just squawked all day long!! It also destroyed the room it was in by tearing up all the wallpaper with it's beak!! Dogs and, maybe fish, would be the only pets I'd ever have! Nearly all other animals are too destructive and just don't give a shit about your belongings!

I had two cockatiels and they are the top of the pantry door little buggers.
Yeh birds do make a dreadful mess. Poos and dust off their wings. Cockies can be veryyyyy loving to their owners if hand raised
Nothing against birds, but I think I'd rather have an aardvark. Maybe a platypus. Or a wombat.

I missed this. Lol wtf an ardvark or wombat lol
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This guy is really horny, so he goes to a whore house and when the Madame asks him what kind of girl he wants, he says, "Oh, it doesn't really matter, as long as she's got herpes."
As it's QUITE an unusual request, the Madame asks, "You want a girl with HERPES??"
He says, "Yeah, I want a girl with herpes."
She says, "Well, that's quite an unusual request!" (See? I told you so!!) "But, I'll see what I can do." She goes upstairs and gets all the available girls together and asks them all if any of them has herpes because a John wants a girl with herpes! They all think that's strange, too, but none have herpes!! So, the Madame chooses one of the girls and tells her, "Just go have sex with him and just TELL him you have herpes. He'll never know the difference!" So, the cute blonde sex kitten runs down stairs to meet the guy. He asks her, "Do you have herpes?" She says, "Yes, I do!" He says, "Okay, great!" He gives the Madame the money and she tells them which room to use. They both go upstairs, get undressed and have wild sex together!!
When they're done and getting dressed, the girl decides to tell him, "I don't really have herpes."
He looks at her a bit stunned for a second, then continues to get dressed and says, "Well, you do now!!"
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