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One day, the circus was looking for a new lion tamer. Two people applied for the job. One was a gorgeous young woman, like Ella, the other was a young man. The ring master had to audition them to see if they could do the job and decided, being a gentleman, ladies first, so, he asked the young woman to try out first. She stepped into the lion's cage, stripped naked and laid down on the floor. They let the lion into the cage and this great fierce beast took a HUGE leap across the floor right next to her, looked her up and down and laid down on the floor right beside her docile as a lamb!!
With that, the ring master turned to the guy and said, "Well, my boy, do you think you can do better than that?"
The guy said, "Yeah!! If you get that damn lion out of there!!"
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(08-09-2015, 02:05 AM)WantAPair Wrote: One day, the circus was looking for a new lion tamer. Two people applied for the job. One was a gorgeous young woman, like Ella, the other was a young man. The ring master had to audition them to see if they could do the job and decided, being a gentleman, ladies first, so, he asked the young woman to try out first. She stepped into the lion's cage, stripped naked and laid down on the floor. They let the lion into the cage and this great fierce beast took a HUGE leap across the floor right next to her, looked her up and down and laid down on the floor right beside her docile as a lamb!!
With that, the ring master turned to the guy and said, "Well, my boy, do you think you can do better than that?"
The guy said, "Yeah!! If you get that damn lion out of there!!"
HA HA
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oh shit I'm just absolutely PISSING myself laughing, you gotta see this cockatoo, its the funniest thing, I haven't laughed this hard In a LONG TIME!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mALNyHFqw14
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(24-09-2015, 08:41 PM)ELLACRAIG Wrote: oh shit I'm just absolutely PISSING myself laughing, you gotta see this cockatoo, its the funniest thing, I haven't laughed this hard In a LONG TIME!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mALNyHFqw14
That's hilarious
thanks Ella.
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(24-09-2015, 08:41 PM)ELLACRAIG Wrote: oh shit I'm just absolutely PISSING myself laughing, you gotta see this cockatoo, its the funniest thing, I haven't laughed this hard In a LONG TIME!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mALNyHFqw14
Okay, wait'll I get my Depends on.
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A guy walks into a pet shop and as soon as he did, a Parrot said to him, "Ooo! I know what YOU do! I know what YOU do!!"
With that, the guy said to the guy behind the counter, "My!! What a BRILLIANT bird, how much is it?"
The shop keeper said, "The bird's not for sale."
The guy said, "I'll give you $300.00 for it!
Shop keeper said, "I don't care if you give me a million! The bird's not for sale! But, I'll tell what I'll do, come back in a week, the bird's going to lay eggs and I'll sell you one of the eggs for $100.00."
So, a week later, the guy came back bought one of the eggs, took it home, nurtured it, cared for it and kept it warm until it hatched.
The next day, he went back to the pet shop VERY pissed off!! He STORMED in through the front door and the same parrot went, "Ooo! I know what YOU do! I know what YOU do!!" The guy said, "I know what YOU do, TOO, ya dirty louse!! You sleep with OWLS!!!!" The parrot went, "Who? Who? Who?"
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(24-09-2015, 11:42 PM)WantAPair Wrote: A guy walks into a pet shop and as soon as he did, a Parrot said to him, "Ooo! I know what YOU do! I know what YOU do!!"
With that, the guy said to the guy behind the counter, "My!! What a BRILLIANT bird, how much is it?"
The shop keeper said, "The bird's not for sale."
The guy said, "I'll give you $300.00 for it!
Shop keeper said, "I don't care if you give me a million! The bird's not for sale! But, I'll tell what I'll do, come back in a week, the bird's going to lay eggs and I'll sell you one of the eggs for $100.00."
So, a week later, the guy came back bought one of the eggs, took it home, nurtured it, cared for it and kept it warm until it hatched.
The next day, he went back to the pet shop VERY pissed off!! He STORMED in through the front door and the same parrot went, "Ooo! I know what YOU do! I know what YOU do!!" The guy said, "I know what YOU do, TOO, ya dirty louse!! You sleep with OWLS!!!!" The parrot went, "Who? Who? Who?"
Lol
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I used to know a guy with a REALLY tough parrot!! He wasn't afraid of ANYTHING!! He'd sit on his perch and, with a demonic sounding voice, he'd go, "Here kitty, kitty, kitty!!"
