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Confidence with small breasts? Learning to love and accept your body while doing NBE.
#1
So I just read a thread about a person finally admitting to herself how much she hated her small breasts and hated her body because of it and it just really broke my heart. It hit home for me on so many levels, and of course I immediately PM'd her but I decided that this is something I want to share with everyone on this forum.

 I was once there too, hating myself, hating to get undressed and look at my ugly flat chest in the mirror. I'm a very sexual being, but I was always so afraid of becoming intimate with a guy I was dating because I always felt like guys would judge my chest and be unsatisfied or underwhelmed. (I'm bisexual but mostly I prefer women now. Funny enough, most women never even mention the size of my breast and I love how women make me feel so beautiful which is why I probably prefer dating them instead.) I've experienced this time after time: when a man you're dating comments on another woman's breasts/looks and it's just a huge blow to your self-esteem, plummeting it just when you thought it couldn't drop anymore. 

My friends in high school were cruel and constantly made jokes about my flat chest. They would make mean comments and say I had mosquito bites for breasts and one time they bought me a training bra as an April Fool's joke (which was especially painful because it was actually my size). I was elected president of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee and I got called that all through high school. I honestly think I would have been a little more self-confident if I had friends with smaller chests too (or atleast friends who weren't so damn mean) but they were all well endowed and constantly rubbed that in my face. I mean that literally too, during gym change out they would all be in their bras and circle me and bounce their breasts in front of my face and then laugh at me for not having a chest. Yep, I had the worse friends ever. 

It took me a long time to find self love and an even longer time to be comfortable with my chest. What helped was when I went to college, I ended up getting friends who were small chested like me (and I mean they were even flatter than me! They were twins, by the way) but they were so fucking confident, honestly, it unnerved me. Like they would wear these skimpy outfits that would show their lack of chest and they never wore bras, but they would wear these tiny bralettes as an outfit (they are really girly, but they are straight unfortunately lol), and I would just be wowed at how they carried themselves. Truthfully, they aren't even dropdead gorgeous (they are pretty but on the average side, you know), but when they walked into the room everyone's head turned because they had these beautiful personalities and they were so intelligent, witty, kind, generous, thoughtful, fun and wild and carefree and really if you ever met them you would want to be their best friends. One day, I just asked them flat out, "Does it bother you that you're so flat chested?" And they laughed at me like I just told the funniest joke they ever heard (or maybe the stupidest, not sure). They said that they didn't even think about it, but that having a small chest is fun and it doesn't get in the way and they don't have to wear bras and who the fuck cares anyway, it's not like everyone is walking around with double D's, and most who are aren't even natural. Why should they waste their time comparing themselves to other women? Why should it matter to them, as long as they were happy with themselves? I was so blown away, so I continued to ask, "Well what about guys? You only date guys and most guys like big breast?" And they told me that might be true, but they had no problems getting dates (they always dated hot guys) and if it was a problem then they just wouldn't go out with that guy or say something like "How would you like it if I complained about the size of your dick or complained about your lack of washboard abs or your height?" to which we all laughed. They told me that they didn't want to be with a guy that made them feel uncomfortable about their looks and that really the key was to be confident. If someone is making you feel ugly or insecure, they are the problem, not you. And if you walk around like you're drop dead gorgeous, people will start to believe it and want you. But if you complain about your looks or the size of your chest, that only makes people notice it more. This is the advice they gave me, and honestly, hanging out with them was the best thing that I could ever do to my self-esteem because they taught me how to carry myself like I was royalty and how to fall truly in love with myself. They also helped me to weed out the bad apples in my life that were taking hits on my confidence.

Now I just want to say, that I did become so much more confident and comfortable in my own skin, but if I'm being 100% honest, I still was a little uncomfortable with my chest. I mean, I had dealt with this insecurity for the better half of my life, my small chest had been the butt of so many jokes, and it wasn't just going away over night. One time a guy took off my top while we were making out and I covered up my chest so quickly I got whiplash. He never said anything about it, but I felt absolutely ridiculous (I seriously wanted to cry). But I talked to my friends about it and they told me the next time we made out I should take off my top myself and be so damn confident he wouldn't know whether to kiss me or fall to his knees and worship me. I took their advice, and I practiced in the mirror for about a week, and let me tell you the next time we saw each other I did exactly that, and he couldn't keep his hands off of me. Never once while we were dating did he mention the size of my breast or lack of, I should say. 

Now of course I'm on my own NBE journey, but for the most part I just want to even out my breasts and I'm going to do it as healthy as possible. But most importantly, I'm going to do it with self-love. Even if my breasts stayed asymmetrical and flat, it wouldn't change how much I love myself. I really truly deeply love myself and I can say that now and know that I'm being 100% honest which is such a fantastic feeling and everyone should be able to say the same. 

So this is my message to everyone that may read this thread, whether you are dealing with low self-esteem or confidence issues, maybe like me you've been the butt of far too many jokes and you suffered from having been picked on so many times, maybe you don't feel womanly enough because you're stick straight, maybe you're transitioning, maybe you're at that point where you hate your body. Please DON'T. I hope you put yourself first, nothing, not even bigger boobs, is worth sacrificing your health (mental health included), weed out the people in your life who put you down and find people that lift you up, focus on the positive things about yourself; not the negatives, learn to love yourself and accept your body; embrace it! Also, don't feel bad/guilty/ashamed about wanting to change something about yourself (and dammit don't let others make you feel bad about it either), but do it because you want to and love yourself in that process. Stay true to yourself. Lastly, I really hope that everyone can learn to have fun on their personal journey (whether it's NBE or whatever else), and not stress themselves out unnecessarily or put themselves down in the process. Love yourself right where you're at, love the person you are right now and also the person you're becoming, and trust me you'll find someone who loves you for you too! At the end of the day, you have this one life, this one body. It may not be perfect, it may come with flaws, but it is all yours and if you want to change something about yourself, make sure you do it with love because believe me, no one can love you better than you can love yourself! So go ahead, fall unapologetically in love with yourself, you have every right to! 

Believe you're gorgeous and others will believe it too!! 


Xoxo
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#2
yeah, it’s kinda crazy what we do …finding pretty images of what become our ideals ..boobs, hips, butt, hair, eyes, whatever ..and then spend years comparing ourselves to these images that hang like portraits in the gallery of our subconscious  …and always, we come up short. it would better if we torched those images and hung a few selfies just so everyday we could say, holy hell, i just keep getting better and better. there’s a girl  ..i won’t say her name, she’s always posting insanely gorgeous picts of herself on instagram and so has a lot of followers. the other day i was thinking to myself, you know, it is possible, it is  ...it is possible she could very well be a really fckn boring human. terminally. just life-threateningly bovine freakin boring. i instantly felt better ..but, i realized, too, what really matters is what i do in my own life ..which is wonderful beyond words. hahaha. <–– that was my triumphant laugh 

Rolleyes
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#3
(12-03-2017, 03:21 AM)solome Wrote: yeah, it’s kinda crazy what we do …finding pretty images of what become our ideals ..boobs, hips, butt, hair, eyes, whatever ..and then spend years comparing ourselves to these images that hang like portraits in the gallery of our subconscious  …and always, we come up short. it would better if we torched those images and hung a few selfies just so everyday we could say, holy hell, i just keep getting better and better. there’s a girl  ..i won’t say her name, she’s always posting insanely gorgeous picts of herself on instagram and so has a lot of followers. the other day i was thinking to myself, you know, it is possible, it is  ...it is possible she could very well be a really fckn boring human. terminally. just life-threateningly bovine freakin boring. i instantly felt better ..but, i realized, too, what really matters is what i do in my own life ..which is wonderful beyond words. hahaha. <–– that was my triumphant laugh 

Rolleyes


Thanks for commenting, Solome. And that was so beautifully articulated! <3
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#4
A British documentary I highly recommend watching is: "My Small Breasts and I"  You can watch it free at this link: https://documentarystorm.com/my-small-breasts-and-i/

I first watched this documentary years ago, and it really did help me to put things into perspective, and it helped me to understand the undue pressure that is placed on women about their looks, and how that can alter and distort how they view themselves. It also helped me to understand that I was not alone, and that greatly contributed to a rise in my self-esteem.

If you get the chance to watch it, it's definitely worth taking a look at! 


Xoxo
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#5
(15-03-2017, 11:25 PM)ZaraAri Wrote: A British documentary I highly recommend watching is: "My Small Breasts and I"  You can watch it free at this link: https://documentarystorm.com/my-small-breasts-and-i/

I first watched this documentary years ago, and it really did help me to put things into perspective, and it helped me to understand the undue pressure that is placed on women about their looks, and how that can alter and distort how they view themselves. It also helped me to understand that I was not alone, and that greatly contributed to a rise in my self-esteem.

If you get the chance to watch it, it's definitely worth taking a look at! 


Xoxo


Excellent post with a beautiful message, ZaraAri! I'm sorry you had to go through that in high school. People don't realize how hurtful words can be. I'm 100% sure none of them are perfect themselves. Nobody is perfect! And you're very right, if you act like you're gorgeous, people will believe it too. Confidence is the most attractive feature.

I had never seen nor heard about the documentary so thank you for sharing it with us! All the ladies in the video are beautiful the way they are....isn't it ironic...
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#6
(18-03-2017, 07:42 PM)bettie32 Wrote:
(15-03-2017, 11:25 PM)ZaraAri Wrote: A British documentary I highly recommend watching is: "My Small Breasts and I"  You can watch it free at this link: https://documentarystorm.com/my-small-breasts-and-i/

I first watched this documentary years ago, and it really did help me to put things into perspective, and it helped me to understand the undue pressure that is placed on women about their looks, and how that can alter and distort how they view themselves. It also helped me to understand that I was not alone, and that greatly contributed to a rise in my self-esteem.

If you get the chance to watch it, it's definitely worth taking a look at! 


Xoxo


Excellent post with a beautiful message, ZaraAri! I'm sorry you had to go through that in high school. People don't realize how hurtful words can be. I'm 100% sure none of them are perfect themselves. Nobody is perfect! And you're very right, if you act like you're gorgeous, people will believe it too. Confidence is the most attractive feature.

I had never seen nor heard about the documentary so thank you for sharing it with us! All the ladies in the video are beautiful the way they are....isn't it ironic...


Aww thank you dear friend!! It's funny how we often judge ourselves based on other people's opinion about us, rather than how we see and value ourselves. And you're right, nobody is perfect! But confidence makes a world of difference.

And if you get the chance, you should definitely check it out. It really helped to put things in perspective for me. The women were all so very gorgeous and how they viewed themselves was so shocking but even more terrifying was that I realized how much we had in common. It made me want to work on my self-esteem issues and confidence even more, because I didn't want to have a distorted self-perception and I didn't want something like having small boobs get in the way of me having an extraordinary life. 

Xoxo
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#7
I just almost started crying.. This is exactly how I feel. And now that I'm almost a month into my NBE journey and realizing just how long it will take to even get a solid plan locked down that works for me to even truly begin the journey, the reality is setting in and it hurts.
I started NBE because I finally gave up on wanting breast implants that I thought I'd be getting since the time I was 12. It truly is a huge life goal of mine to have larger breasts, and its hard to not hate myself especially since I research and think about it everyday. I'm going to keep persisting I just hope along the way I can learn to be happy and confident regardless...
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#8
(20-03-2017, 05:18 PM)arwenofgondor Wrote: I just almost started crying.. This is exactly how I feel. And now that I'm almost a month into my NBE journey and realizing just how long it will take to even get a solid plan locked down that works for me to even truly begin the journey, the reality is setting in and it hurts.
I started NBE because I finally gave up on wanting breast implants that I thought I'd be getting since the time I was 12. It truly is a huge life goal of mine to have larger breasts, and its hard to not hate myself especially since I research and think about it everyday. I'm going to keep persisting I just hope along the way I can learn to be happy and confident regardless...


I definitely know that feeling well! NBE can be such a long journey which is why I feel like it's important to learn how to love and accept yourself in the process! I truly do hope that you can learn to be happy and confident with where you are right now! Remember, your breasts (size, shape, etc.) are not the most important part about you! Sometimes you just need to remind yourself the great things about yourself and focus on that, and also know that any girl/guy (whatever your preference) would be damn lucky to have you and if they can't appreciate you now, they will never appreciate you with bigger breasts. Also, if you can't love and appreciate yourself now, it's kind of unfair to expect someone else to. Start practicing being confident even if you don't feel like it, that helped me out a lot and sometimes you just got to fake it till you make it. Then start being happy and carefree, and don't let the little stuff stress you out. People will notice a difference in you and they will be attracted to your vibes. Don't make NBE such a big deal in your life, I mean do it fully but don't let it overwhelm your life because that will put more focus on what you feel is a flaw rather than directing your attention to all the wonderful things about your life. 

I hope all this helps! And feel free to PM because sometimes you just need someone to talk to and if you don't have any one then I'm definitely here for you! <3 

Xoxo
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#9
(22-03-2017, 03:04 PM)ZaraAri Wrote:
(20-03-2017, 05:18 PM)arwenofgondor Wrote: I just almost started crying.. This is exactly how I feel. And now that I'm almost a month into my NBE journey and realizing just how long it will take to even get a solid plan locked down that works for me to even truly begin the journey, the reality is setting in and it hurts.
I started NBE because I finally gave up on wanting breast implants that I thought I'd be getting since the time I was 12. It truly is a huge life goal of mine to have larger breasts, and its hard to not hate myself especially since I research and think about it everyday. I'm going to keep persisting I just hope along the way I can learn to be happy and confident regardless...


I definitely know that feeling well! NBE can be such a long journey which is why I feel like it's important to learn how to love and accept yourself in the process! I truly do hope that you can learn to be happy and confident with where you are right now! Remember, your breasts (size, shape, etc.) are not the most important part about you! Sometimes you just need to remind yourself the great things about yourself and focus on that, and also know that any girl/guy (whatever your preference) would be damn lucky to have you and if they can't appreciate you now, they will never appreciate you with bigger breasts. Also, if you can't love and appreciate yourself now, it's kind of unfair to expect someone else to. Start practicing being confident even if you don't feel like it, that helped me out a lot and sometimes you just got to fake it till you make it. Then start being happy and carefree, and don't let the little stuff stress you out. People will notice a difference in you and they will be attracted to your vibes. Don't make NBE such a big deal in your life, I mean do it fully but don't let it overwhelm your life because that will put more focus on what you feel is a flaw rather than directing your attention to all the wonderful things about your life. 

I hope all this helps! And feel free to PM because sometimes you just need someone to talk to and if you don't have any one then I'm definitely here for you! <3 

Xoxo



I totally agree with Zaarari and wanted to add to positive thoughts(there is proof out there!) could help to reach your goal quicker...There are many girls on BN who've used them ''positive affirmations'' or visualisation technique's they call it...look for it online there are good examples to lead your own thoughts by telling yourself certain things. Just think that every thing is possible and you'll help your nbe journey..just imagine your breasts are growing etc. It really helps..just believe in it and be patient.
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#10
So heartwarming to read that <3
Thank you for sharing your story!
When I was younger I had very low self esteem about my breasts, I was wearing shirts to hide them so people wouldn't see how small they where (I was an A cup till 21). 
I do have to say that now I genually don't care anymore, I absolutely do this because I think bigger breasts are so much fun to play with.
I know this must sound crazy haha, but not even in a sexual way, it are just like anti stress balls and they are fun bags for me.
I must be the only one, but fun is my main motivator for NBE.

That documentary is nice! I know that one Smile
There is also one on the other side, called my bigger breasts and me, and the downside of having bigger boobs, also nice to watch:
https://documentarystorm.com/my-big-breasts-and-me/

Also, on Tumblr I see so many beautiful small chested girls scroll by in my feed, in beautiful bralette's. I love those pictures! I think it has also helped me over the years. It is like your image about society and what is beautiful is changing. I could recommend that too :Smile very inspiring
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