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To Tell or Not Tell: Keeping NBE a Secret
#1
Hello beautiful people of the forum! I just wanted to start this thread because NBE is a huge secret in my life, well... I don't really consider it a secret though. I consider it a private matter that I don't feel the need to disclose to anyone, not even my girlfriend of five years. So no one knows about my journey with NBE in my life, not friends or family, and I don't think it's something that I will ever voluntarily disclose. Like perhaps if one of my friends asked what I've been doing, and if they were genuinely curious or maybe considering implants, then of course I would let them in on it in an effort to prevent them from going that route. Or if my girlfriend asked me straight up, then I definitely wouldn't lie to her or even beat around the bush about it. But otherwise, I don't want to subject myself to behind the back criticisms and misjudgments from my friends and family (not saying that's how they would act, but I'm sure they would talk and come to their own assumptions, you know?). 

I think when most people hear that you're on an NBE journey, they automatically assume that you're doing it for someone else, or that you're unhappy with yourself and your body or you're desperate or something. Even people who are supportive to your face will judge you behind your back and think, "why can't you just accept yourself as you are?" and other similar thoughs. I'm neither of those things by the way. I'm happy, I'm beyond content, I'm self-assured and confident, and I love myself/body just as I am. But I want bigger boobs too and what's wrong with that?  

Now the reason why I decided to keep this from my partner is a different matter altogether. I know for a fact that she would be supportive. We have that type of relationship where we are very trusting and we allow each other personal space. She's not my keeper, I don't have to check in with her or ask her permission to do something I want. We do talk, openly and bluntly, and take into consideration each other's feelings before making big decisions. But something like this, she honestly wouldn't care if I told her or kept it from her. I know this because I briefly considered breast implants when we first started dating (this was when I used to be massively insecure) and she told me "Hey, that's your body and if you want to change it then that's your decision and not mine. You don't have to run that by me. I'm not your warden." And then she went on a long rant about loving my body just as it is, and how she wanted to support me in my decisions, and be there for me and blah blah blah, (gosh I love her, lol). But that is another reason I don't want to tell her because I don't want her to think that I must still be unhappy with my body or that I'm doing this for her. I'm so not, lol. I know she would give me another long lengthy lecture about how she loves my body just as it is, and she doesn't want me to feel the need to change it, and sigh, I already know those things, I don't need to hear it from her again and again. She would also probably be worried that my breasts are an insecurity for me, when it's not. It used to be, but I'm not shy about my small boobs any longer. Heck, I wear seethrough tops in public, so that should let you know free I am!! She would also be curious about the things I'm taking and doing, and curious about updates, and then I would ultimately feel like she's hovering over my shoulder during this journey and also probably feel unnecessary pressure from her even though at her heart she's just trying to be supportive, but really I just need and want my own space to do my own thing when it comes to NBE. Do you guys get what I'm saying and do you relate? I hope so!!

So I'm curious... who do you keep your NBE a secret from and why (friends, family, partner(s) lol)? Is it hard for you to keep it a secret? Do you feel like you have to but don't want to (because maybe they wouldn't understand or be supportive)? Is it a burden you carry, or do you feel incredibly liberated as I do by having a portion of your life closed off from others? Do you wish there were someone in your life that you can talk NBE related stuff about or maybe wish that you had more of support group? I know I do sometimes, but I spend so much time doing NBE related research and reading threads and just being on this forum that it's more of a huge relief to not have it interfered or brought up in conversations in my real life. 

What's your take on keeping NBE a secret from the people in your life? Do you think it's deceptive or do you think it's entirely personal and something that doesn't need to be shared? I'm interested in hearing everyone's thoughts on this matter but I ultimately think that it's your body and you should be able to do with it as you desire, whether that means NBE, chopping off all your hair, getting tattoos or transitioning or whatever. And if you don't want to open yourself up to criticism or judgments or even just unsolicited inputs from friends/family/partners/etc, then I totally get it. You shouldn't feel pressured to share something so private and personal about yourself if you don't want to, but then again if you're transitioning I'm sure that's something they're bound to pick up on, lol. 

Let me know your thoughts and let's start conversations on this topic! I think it would be interesting to talk about! 

Xoxo <3
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#2
Oh if anyone wants to know why I actually want bigger breasts, here's something I posted on another thread: 

Quote:I think for me, it is ultimately a combination of things. As much as I want to say that I'm doing this strictly for me, I think it would be dishonest for me not to mention that inherently society's perception of women with big busts has influenced my own preference to have a big bust on my own body. I mean, think about it, if we lived in a society where women with flat chested were celebrated and thought to be the ideal body, then I think this forum would probably have a different objective. 

Having said all that, I do feel like for the most part, I'm on this NBE journey all for myself. No one is pushing me to do it, I'm already in a relationship where my girl loves the size of my breasts now and she doesn't care if they are bigger or smaller (funnily enough I tend to prefer women with small breasts and I think so does my partner). But when I look in the mirror, I can't help but to notice the imbalance in my measurements. I have wide hips, a big butt, and small boobs. I think my shape would look so much better if it were a bit more balanced, so my goal is to lose the love handles while also adding to my bust to give myself more of an hourglass shape. 

For me this NBE journey shouldn't be stressful, it's simply a way of improving myself in a way that I deem is worth it but not altogether necessary. My health and fitness is my top priority, and I love myself and how I currently look, regardless of my bust measurements. If NBE works out for me, great! If it doesn't, oh well, I tried, and it's really not that big of a deal. I'll continue living and enjoying life and I'll have that experience under my belt. 

Hope that gives you a good idea of my personal reasons of embarking on this NBE journey and I look forward to reading other responses!! 
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#3
(19-05-2017, 11:38 PM)ZaraAri Wrote: Oh if anyone wants to know why I actually want bigger breasts, here's something I posted on another thread: 

Quote:I think for me, it is ultimately a combination of things. As much as I want to say that I'm doing this strictly for me, I think it would be dishonest for me not to mention that inherently society's perception of women with big busts has influenced my own preference to have a big bust on my own body. I mean, think about it, if we lived in a society where women with flat chested were celebrated and thought to be the ideal body, then I think this forum would probably have a different objective. 

Having said all that, I do feel like for the most part, I'm on this NBE journey all for myself. No one is pushing me to do it, I'm already in a relationship where my girl loves the size of my breasts now and she doesn't care if they are bigger or smaller (funnily enough I tend to prefer women with small breasts and I think so does my partner). But when I look in the mirror, I can't help but to notice the imbalance in my measurements. I have wide hips, a big butt, and small boobs. I think my shape would look so much better if it were a bit more balanced, so my goal is to lose the love handles while also adding to my bust to give myself more of an hourglass shape. 

For me this NBE journey shouldn't be stressful, it's simply a way of improving myself in a way that I deem is worth it but not altogether necessary. My health and fitness is my top priority, and I love myself and how I currently look, regardless of my bust measurements. If NBE works out for me, great! If it doesn't, oh well, I tried, and it's really not that big of a deal. I'll continue living and enjoying life and I'll have that experience under my belt. 

Hope that gives you a good idea of my personal reasons of embarking on this NBE journey and I look forward to reading other responses!! 


Hi Zara! This is a good debate, actually.

Well, in my case I don't share this journey with anybody not cause I don't trust people, it is  cause this is a part of my life I want to keep private, like I don't want to receive any kind of advice or supportive ideas in any way, or any bad comment about this. I have had a rough year gaining weight and listening offensive comments about if I was anorexic and nowadays if I have any problem with food and binge eating cause I gained 20kilos in a year, Rolleyes so just taking into account the people I have around me love to gossip, no thank you hahaha. I am single right now, so I don't have the problem of asking all the time "why your boobs seems to be bigger than six months ago" neither but anyway if I was taken I would not tell to my bf anything as well , some things I keep extra private i.e my obsession with sex toys Rolleyes my friends know I know lots about self-pleasure but they don't know my collection is about 50 toys Rolleyes Rolleyes cause I know people can be pesky even though they want to help you.
However, I don't know what kind of relationship do you have with your girl and if she is openminded or not, or if she just be curious or would leave you make your journey with any kind of limit so I think you have to think about it and make a decision , cause sooner or later she will realize your boobs have changed and I guess you will have to say something !


And don't feel bad when you look at the mirror, we are not perfect and we don't have to be. You can try to change your body shape through this journey and whenever you want you can decide to stop, I mean, we are not perfect but we came to the world to be happy. Life is short, so we should focus on the good things and loving ourselves no matter what. I've learnt these things through struggle, and especially this last year when I was underweight . I was super depressed cause I did not like my body and people were being so annoying with the topic i put extra pressure on myself soo when I have gained 20 kilos and listened to different kind of offensive comments, I have decided to not paying attention n the people, nor even my friends who can be constructive. This is me, my life, my journey so the only opinion that I should take into account is what I think about myself . 

So , cheer up, and whatever you decide just make sure you feel happy about it!


Love,

Tay (it's my name Big Grin)
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#4
(20-05-2017, 12:40 AM)sweetorange Wrote: Hi Zara! This is a good debate, actually.

Well, in my case I don't share this journey with anybody not cause I don't trust people, it is  cause this is a part of my life I want to keep private, like I don't want to receive any kind of advice or supportive ideas in any way, or any bad comment about this. I have had a rough year gaining weight and listening offensive comments about if I was anorexic and nowadays if I have any problem with food and binge eating cause I gained 20kilos in a year, Rolleyes so just taking into account the people I have around me love to gossip, no thank you hahaha. I am single right now, so I don't have the problem of asking all the time "why your boobs seems to be bigger than six months ago" neither but anyway if I was taken I would not tell to my bf anything as well , some things I keep extra private i.e my obsession with sex toys Rolleyes my friends know I know lots about self-pleasure but they don't know my collection is about 50 toys Rolleyes Rolleyes cause I know people can be pesky even though they want to help you.
However, I don't know what kind of relationship do you have with your girl and if she is openminded or not, or if she just be curious or would leave you make your journey with any kind of limit so I think you have to think about it and make a decision , cause sooner or later she will realize your boobs have changed and I guess you will have to say something !

And don't feel bad when you look at the mirror, we are not perfect and we don't have to be. You can try to change your body shape through this journey and whenever you want you can decide to stop, I mean, we are not perfect but we came to the world to be happy. Life is short, so we should focus on the good things and loving ourselves no matter what. I've learnt these things through struggle, and especially this last year when I was underweight . I was super depressed cause I did not like my body and people were being so annoying with the topic i put extra pressure on myself soo when I have gained 20 kilos and listened to different kind of offensive comments, I have decided to not paying attention n the people, nor even my friends who can be constructive. This is me, my life, my journey so the only opinion that I should take into account is what I think about myself . 

So , cheer up, and whatever you decide just make sure you feel happy about it!


Love,

Tay (it's my name Big Grin)


YES YES YES GIRLLLLL!!!! I fully identify and agree with your reasonings behind keeping NBE a secret, and I don't feel guilty about it one bit because I don't think there's anything wrong with keeping certain things about yourself private (as long as it doesn't hurt your partner or affect them negatively in not knowing). I don't want people to know and comment about my NBE journey when it's really none of their business (unless they were asking because they wanted to embark on their own, then I'll help them out) but people do love to gossip. I think you put yourself at risk when you open yourself up about this to just anybody, even close friends, to be talked about and judge in a negative light, even with people who are well meaning. 

Like for instance, a few years back one of my friends got a boob job, and she was very open about it to her friends and family. But what ended up happening is that some people took it like she was being self-absorbed and caught up with her looks. I had to come to her defense multiple times, but my other friends thought she must have a complex, and it didn't help matters that she had young kids because they used that as a reason to not get implants because it would be setting a bad example for them. Also, she was financially stable but my friends still said that all that money she was spending on implants could have been spent on her kids college fund and so she was also labeled selfish. Some of this was said to her face, but a lot of it was said behind her back, and what got me was how people made it sound like they were being genuinely good concerned friends and not meanly gossiping behind her back. 

Oh and my girl is very open minded, and like I said she would support me either way. It's just that like you said, I want to keep this part private and free from outside interference as much as possible. I want to do this on my own (with the help of random strangers on the forum of course, lol). But there is secrecy in being on a forum, you know, which helps! But yeah, I know eventually she will start to notice and it will come up sooner or later, but I will cross that bridge when I get to it. I'm not sure if I'll just shrug it off or tell her straight up. It really depends on how she asks me, because we don't do lies in our relationship, so if she asked me straight up like "Yo, Z your breasts are huge now, what the hell did you do?" I would have to tell her. But if she was just like, "Is it just me or your breasts, getting bigger?" I would probably respond more playful and say something like come over here and play with them and you tell me, lol.

I just want to clarify, I don't feel bad about my body shape, nor am I "sad or down or feeling bad" in any way. I'm very happy and assured in my looks. I'm really just curious in how other people choose to let other people into their NBE journeys and whether they feel pressured to do so or not. 

Xoxo

P.S. Girl we have to have some conversations about the ways of self-pleasuring yourself. I'm a nymphomaniac and I'm pretty much addicted to sex and masturbating. Also, let me in on your favorite sex toys because I'm so interested in that! Teach me your ways! I want to learn!!! Maybe you can make a thread because I'm sure people will be interested in that! I feel like you're never too old to learn a few tricks in the bed, you know.  Wink
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#5
You know, something I want to add is that what's really crazy about me keeping this secret from my partner is that I don't hide any of my NBE stuff from her. We have a large kitchen with way too many cabinets, and I put all of my pills in one of the empty cabinets. I never use my NB when she's at home (which is why I don't noogle at all typically on the weekends) but at the same token, I don't go out of my way to hide my NB bag from her. Like I leave it lying around, and not once has she even asked me what it is or has she gone through it. I buy stuff for myself all the time, and she never asks me about my purchases. We really are a couple who don't snoop through each other's belongings or invade each other's privacy, and that's what I love about our relationship. So no, I don't feel guilty about keeping this from her, because I know in the end it really doesn't matter. Like sure, one day she'll notice, and as I've said before, I'll cross that bridge when I get to it, but there is incredible freedom in just having a corner of your life that is off limits to everyone, even your partner. It's freeing! 

It's funny too, because I really do feel like me and my girl, for the most part, tell each other everything. We're so blunt and honest and open with each other. We have this rule about how the truth hurts, but lies hurt worse, so we force ourselves to be honest with each other, especially when asked a direct question. But we don't worry about sharing every little inconsequential detail of our lives. I wouldn't want that either. 

Of course, I understand why some people reach out to their loved ones for support for their NBE journey, but I just don't really feel the need to. This forum has given me more than enough help and support, and I've made some great friends on here too. But I do find comfort in knowing that if ever I wanted to tell my girl, she'd be right there supporting me.
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#6
Good thread!
And your both correct. NBE is better kept a private matter.
If you tell someone that you are going to lose weight, or increase your beasts or massage your winkles away, the constant questions about how is it going would be maddening. And it would probably cause us to question is it working more than we do now.
This is a slow process and one we do for our selves. Our friends and lovers will get to enjoy the fruits of our labor when they are ready. Smile
Bobbi
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#7
(20-05-2017, 12:42 PM)Happyme Wrote: Good thread!
And your both correct. NBE is better kept a private matter.
If you tell someone that you are going to lose weight, or increase your beasts or massage your winkles away, the constant questions about how is it going would be maddening. And it would probably cause us to question is it working more than we do now.
This is a slow process and one we do for our selves. Our friends and lovers will get to enjoy the fruits of our labor when they are ready. Smile
Bobbi


Thanks for commenting, Bobbi! I agree with everything you wrote! Well said. 

What you said actually reminded me that a couple months back, my girl signed up for a gym and a personal trainer and she didn't tell me at all. I didn't even notice until one day I realize that she was ripped as hell. I asked her how she got so ripped and she then told me about how she saw she was letting herself go (she really wasn't, I mean she may have put on five pounds but she's way fitter than me) and wanted to get back in shape so she did. I wasn't hurt or offended at all that she didn't tell me this or include me on her fitness journey, and I mean why would I be? I did later, however, try working out with her, but she gets so in the zone, and I'm not used to working out as much as she is and I was really dragging her workouts. I quickly realized this, and also realized that this was her thing and I was kind of infringing on it. I want her to have a thing and that doesn't always have to include me, so I decided to sign up for zumba and other classes that I actually enjoy, while she focuses on her strength training (which I didn't even like doing in the first place, lol). We often still do work out together, but it's more like going on hikes together or bike rides. But the gym is her space, and she never had to tell me that (she's way too nice anyways, she never would say that) but I figured that on my own. I feel the same way about NBE as my girl is about getting ripped and working out at the gym. 

I also remembered something else... before I got in a relationship with my girl, I was in a relationship with a guy (this was when I was in my early 20's and really small chested) and he knew how big of an insecurity it was to me. I remember telling him about all the things I was doing to make my bust bigger (I was taking marketed NBE pills like breast actives and zoft, I also had the EasyCurves tool) and I remember how he offered to buy me more pills when I ran out and he was so anxious about my results (always checking up on it) that it put a lot of pressure on me, and when I didn't have any progress I felt so bad. He would always stare at my breast to see if they were growing, and always commented on it (not in a rude way, either, because he was really supportive) but all this made me feel even more insecure and more desperate about getting implants. Of course, he didn't realize how he was feeding into my insecurities, but this goes to show you that even people with good intentions can sometimes be the least of help.
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#8
(20-05-2017, 03:36 PM)ZaraAri Wrote:
(20-05-2017, 12:42 PM)Happyme Wrote: Good thread!
And your both correct. NBE is better kept a private matter.
If you tell someone that you are going to lose weight, or increase your beasts or massage your winkles away, the constant questions about how is it going would be maddening. And it would probably cause us to question is it working more than we do now.
This is a slow process and one we do for our selves. Our friends and lovers will get to enjoy the fruits of our labor when they are ready. Smile
Bobbi


Thanks for commenting, Bobbi! I agree with everything you wrote! Well said. 

What you said actually reminded me that a couple months back, my girl signed up for a gym and a personal trainer and she didn't tell me at all. I didn't even notice until one day I realize that she was ripped as hell. I asked her how she got so ripped and she then told me about how she saw she was letting herself go (she really wasn't, I mean she may have put on five pounds but she's way fitter than me) and wanted to get back in shape so she did. I wasn't hurt or offended at all that she didn't tell me this or include me on her fitness journey, and I mean why would I be? I did later, however, try working out with her, but she gets so in the zone, and I'm not used to working out as much as she is and I was really dragging her workouts. I quickly realized this, and also realized that this was her thing and I was kind of infringing on it. I want her to have a thing and that doesn't always have to include me, so I decided to sign up for zumba and other classes that I actually enjoy, while she focuses on her strength training (which I didn't even like doing in the first place, lol). We often still do work out together, but it's more like going on hikes together or bike rides. But the gym is her space, and she never had to tell me that (she's way too nice anyways, she never would say that) but I figured that on my own. I feel the same way about NBE as my girl is about getting ripped and working out at the gym. 

I also remembered something else... before I got in a relationship with my girl, I was in a relationship with a guy (this was when I was in my early 20's and really small chested) and he knew how big of an insecurity it was to me. I remember telling him about all the things I was doing to make my bust bigger (I was taking marketed NBE pills like breast actives and zoft, I also had the EasyCurves tool) and I remember how he offered to buy me more pills when I ran out and he was so anxious about my results (always checking up on it) that it put a lot of pressure on me, and when I didn't have any progress I felt so bad. He would always stare at my breast to see if they were growing, and always commented on it (not in a rude way, either, because he was really supportive) but all this made me feel even more insecure and more desperate about getting implants. Of course, he didn't realize how he was feeding into my insecurities, but this goes to show you that even people with good intentions can sometimes be the least of help.

Oh gosh having the Boyfriend anxious and offering to buy more would make me feel so much MORE insecure about my size  Sad  


My husband found out and only cause I'm terrible at hiding things... he laughed it off and the sad thing is I did really well at one point and was in a 32D but he's an "ass" man so never really noticed the change although from memory he was poking my cleavage a lot.... then I got my gut infection and my autoimmune stuff so lost a tonne og weight and the boobs Dodgy 

For now I don't like to wear the push up bras I used to wear in the past as they see how much they squash up breast tissue to I feel even smaller but I'm trying to regain the weight and boobs!
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#9
(21-05-2017, 07:06 AM)EllaC Wrote: Oh gosh having the Boyfriend anxious and offering to buy more would make me feel so much MORE insecure about my size  Sad  


My husband found out and only cause I'm terrible at hiding things... he laughed it off and the sad thing is I did really well at one point and was in a 32D but he's an "ass" man so never really noticed the change although from memory he was poking my cleavage a lot.... then I got my gut infection and my autoimmune stuff so lost a tonne og weight and the boobs Dodgy 

For now I don't like to wear the push up bras I used to wear in the past as they see how much they squash up breast tissue to I feel even smaller but I'm trying to regain the weight and boobs!



That's exactly how I felt, Ella! Like at first he laughed it off and was like "Why are you doing this? This is crazy! I don't want you to feel like you have to do this for me." which made me feel silly and stupid, but then later he said "Well if this is something you want then I'll pay for it." And initially I was happy that he was supportive, but then I could see how anxious he was as the months went by to see my breasts growing (especially since he was funding my project, lol) and that really took a hit on my self-esteem, especially when I had ZERO results from those things. I was such a noob and didn't know the first thing about NBE, so no wonder I didn't grow any.  

But yeah, it's crazy how either way I was bound to end up feeling bad. Like when he laughed it off and made it seem like he didn't want me to do it, I felt so stupid and ashamed and embarrassed. But then when he became supremely supportive, it made me feel insecure about my body as it was. It was really a lose lose for me, which is another reason why I'll just keep this NBE hobby to myself for the time being!!!

Oh, and I'm the worst at hiding things too!! It helps though that me and my partner don't snoop through each others stuff, and also she's not prying at all. I think if I was in a relationship with anyone else, they would have found out by now, lol.

Xoxo
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#10
I have been hiding it for years now...at least I think its still a secret lol.. Im not sure though because I often left the breastnexus page open on my devices then my boyfriend wanted to google something or used my phone or tablet and I often just walked out of the room pretending I didnt knew that he saw that page in the hope he clicked it away asap. Ha ha. But we were just clearing out some closets since we are having another baby soon and there it was 3 soaps with a picture of big d-cup breasts...and he said whats this for shit? And I just said neglectfull oh just a present that came with a supplement order. It was pretty funny...and all my supplement are just all over the place....he often had my Progesterone cream in his hand bc it stood in way in the bathroom and Puearira Mirifica...he just never asked me about it...But chances are he knows all about it lol.
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