[Nessa]

So i decided to make this thread, cos i noticed that we all need to blow off steam once in a while, theres always gonna be an asshole thats gonna makes us mad, so i´ll encourage you on this thread to blow off your steam too!!!

ok so i´ll start, i was eating in a place near by my university, with one of my friends, the others where goin to join us lather, and there was this guy i take a class with, he made a comment of a sexual nature, very crude and dirty, and i told him, kind of joking ``dude please, moderate your tongue´´, and he got pissed, and said that we needed to know this kind of stuff, because we ``niño eh papi y mami´´ (thats like we call the rich kids, that there parents give them everything) didn´t know anything, and he went on a self pyting story about how he had no parents, and trying to make me feel bad cos i do have parents,and i told him he couldn´t live his life hating people that had more than him, and that thanked God, that that people were okay, and that is always goin to be someone in better, or worse condition than you, and we started discussing and I don´t know how the heck did he ended saying, ``that´s why women get raped, when they don´t know anything about sex´´ i wanted to punch him right there, what a freacking brute, it´s womens fault to get raped?!!!, seriously??? what an As$h@le, it doesn´t matter if you act like a Wh#r€ or if you are one by profession, a man should never ever, lay a hand of you, it doesn´t matter, if you ``provoked´´ him, it still is wrong, and its not the womens fault. im sick of it, of those chauvenistic pigs, walking arrownd, and disguising themselfes as thinking human beings.

[Black Hippie]

What a Jerk!!!! We should tell all the little girls and boys everything about sex because apparently that will make all the rapist magically disappear. Is that his crazy logic? Anyway, I agree with everything you said! He excused rape by claiming rape victim didn't know enough about sex to prevent it. That doesn't even make sense unless he is referring to ways to prevent rape. (which still won't protect you completely) He seems to be referring to pointless sexual knowledge that will not prevent anything. What is his knowledge going to do in a rape situation? I mean really! Will the rapist change his mind just because child knows a few sexual terms. Sorry, that made me upset too. On a lighter note! How is college Nessa and what are you studying? I'm transferring to a University this Fall and I am sooo scared.

[Nessa]

well university here it´s not the same as in the U.S.A, first of theyare not live in, i still live with my mom, but on the other part, it IS fun, but it´s not the same mentality as in high school, people are a lot more layback, and gossip is not the main entertaiment, just think that the people that are going there, where in high school too, and had the same doubts that your having now, i advice you to NEVER fight with a teacher, they have the upper hand, and it´s your future that theyre messing with,and if you are goin to claim them anything, always in a very submiss and respectful way.

im studying Marketing, and don´t be afraid, teachers can smell fear, lmao, but no seriously, just don´t trust people inmediately, cos you don´t know them, im not telling you not to make friends, cos you should make friends, and always try to know different kind of persons, but don´t trsut them, like completely, also your gonna know people that your not gonna like, and maybe they hang out , with the people you hang out too, but sometimes you just have to suck it up, and wait for that person to be gone next semester, lol

[DoubleCs]

How he even got accepted into a university in the first place is more of the question that I'm asking.

His argument is absolutely dumb with no sense of knowledge or logic put behind it. People do not get raped because they don't know anything about sex. People get raped because there are dumb b**tards out there who are either/all perverted, desperate, or ill-minded. He just started rambling on about pointless things that don't make sense because he was angry about your comment. He was trying to look smart but ended up making himself look like a douche XD Plus, if he has to pull out some lame "pity card," it just goes to show what low self-esteem he has & how he has to talk about something that he should get over to bring himself more attention -_-;

Gosh, people like that are such idiots : | No relevance to the argument being put forward whatsoever :/

[Black Hippie]

Nessa, I went to community college my first year , but I my parents want me to move out since I'm 18 now D: I'm more nervous about moving out and making friends. I didn't make any friends at my current college. Cool. I'm changing my major to either Business or Marketing. I can't decide. Do you like Marketing? Sorry, I'm soooo off topic, but I'm interested in knowing about your country's Higher Education system. Maybe I should of gave you a PM instead lol,

[Anastasia916]

Nessa, if that jerk said that crap around me.... he would have been kicked so hard in his genitals that everytime he even thought about sex and got excited he would be in agony for weeks.

I don't play with that subject, no knowledge of sex does not help you. Learning self defense does. Having the courage to fight back does.

How do I know? I was molested as a child by a doctor, I was date raped in my early teens by 2 different guys, then almost raped one time but fought my way out of it.

Now of course as a child I wouldn't know about sex, but in my teens I did, so that DOESN'T prevent a damn thing. Only self defense does. But yea, like I said, he would have been beat down by me if I was around. You just don't say crap like that. I don't care what your childhood was like. I had a rough childhood too and I don't tell people they deserve to be raped or anything stupid like that!

And I agree even if the girl is stripping for the guy, kissing him, rubbing on him, etc. but he makes a move and she doesn't want it and says no... he has NO right to force it, period! That's like saying because a male does those things to a female she has a right to force him to do it just because she's turned on. It's called control. And some men do have control.

I have a very good male friend that I've dated twice. Once while we weren't dating, was in between the two time we did... I got drunk, REALLY drunk, was the only time I had a hangover and didn't remember anything. Well I was shown a video of me basically throwing myself at him, rubbing all over him, telling him to go get a condom... and he just kept trying to calm me down and push me off of him. He took me home, this wasn't on video... and said that I stripped completely naked and tried to have sex with him, but he wouldn't cause I was intoxicated. The type of jerk you are talking about probably would have took advantage of that situation. And I know for a fact he didn't have sex with me... or I would have been sore down there cause it had been like a year since I last had sex. So I know he was telling the truth. So yea, even if a girl throws themselves on a guy, it is still the guys decision what he does, guys do have self control! Just some would rather not admit it and use it as an excuse to hurt women for their own sick twisted desires.

I hope he gets beat down by someone!

[Cheryl1989]

Hi everyone, that guy is a serious asshole Nessa lol, i totally get how you feel and you should have kicked him in the crotch like Anastasia said lol. People that make comments like that make me very angry and especialy on such a serious subject as rape. Since my change i have become very aware of where i walk and how dark it is and so on as i am terrified that i could not fight of a man if i needed to, i have a rape alarm my friend gave me as she was raped in a night club about 4 years ago which i never knew about untill about 3 months ago so i take this subject very seriously. And this thread is such a good idea honey .
Hugs Cheryl xxxx

[Nessa]

Anastasia, you are such a STRONG person:angel:, cos when i was 15, a men that i loved like he was my father(though he was young, only like 29 or 30) someone that knew me, since i was 9 years old, almost raped me, and then he manipulated me, to think it was my fault, and that it didn´t really happened, and i kind of believed him, cos i was so messed up, i felt soo betrayed, and still sometimes if i even hear the world sexual harassment or Dad, i feel like i want to cry, but you, you are WOW, unbeliveable, i mean i didn´t even get raaped(thank god), and i have issues.

[Cheryl1989]

I agree with Nessa on this Anastasia, you are amazing but you know i think that of you anyway as we have kind of spoke about this before, i really think you are a great inspiration and roll model to all people that have been in this situation, its shows that these terrible things do not have to rule our lives or ruin them.
Hugs Cheryl xxxx

[Anastasia916]

Oh, I don't come without issues lol. I've been to therapy when I was a teenager. For a while there I kept going for the wrong guys, my son's father included. When me and my hubby first got together, one of the first few times we had sex, he was a little aggressive and I just broke down in tears. So yes I still break down now and then, just not as often as I use to.

Cheryl, I will try to find a good article about how to keep yourself safe from predators and how to defend yourself when in a situation that work. It was an article written by a woman who interviewed cereal rapists in prison, so it comes straight from the source! It was from a few years ago, so might take me a while to find.

But until I can find it I will share some information that will help...
When going on a walk, never look lost! Never look like you don't know where you are going! If you do, a predator will pick up on it, and they are more likely to attack someone who is unfamiliar with an area.

When going for a jog or walk, stay away from headphone, music player, etc. usage as much as possible. Predators attack females who are blissfully unaware of sounds and things around them more often.

Wear your hair down! One thing predators look for... ponytails! Or anytime of updo that is grabbable, why? Because they will grab your hair from behind and control you with it!

Most rapists do not carry a real gun! They sometimes have a fake gun, or will pretend to have one to scare you, but the only weapon a rapist normally carries is a pair of scissors to cut the clothes off, it's a hell of alot easier than ripping them! Why do they not carry guns? Assault with a weapon like that is attempted murder, so that means more jail time than just a regular rape.

When going into a parking garage, if you see someone following you, turn to them and YELL! Yell something like "I see you there, I will scream, back away now!" even if the person isn't out to get you, it's better to be safe than sorry right? Rapists look for an easy lay, they do not want someone who will scream, cause a scene, or ultimately fight!

Also when in a parking garage... If you leave your car not next to a van on your driver's side, and all of a sudden there is one there next to your driver side... enter your car from the passenger side. Why? Because alot of women have been attacked this way. A van will park next to their driver side door, once they start to enter the car, they grab them and pull them into the van!

Never drink a drink from someone you don't know well unless you seen them pour it!

When attacked, fight! Scream! Like I said, they want an easy person, not someone that will get attention to them.

Of course, don't go in dark areas if you can help it, if you do, don't do it alone. Rapists look for women who are alone.

And of course you can always carry pepperspray, take a self defense class, etc.

These are a few things I remembered from the article, and a few to look out for from my own experience.

The two times I was raped in my early teens... once at 14 (I considered myself a virgin then eventhough the thing happened when I was 4 or 5 by the doctor) I was dating a boy who was 17 for 3 or so months. His parents were gone, I went to his house with him. We started watching a movie. I was on my period and needed to go change my pad (I didn't start using tampons till much later), while in the bathroom, he barged in, I was standing up changing my pad. He forced me down against the sink, holding my hands behind me. And he raped me there. I was in so much shock I froze, I didn't react. And that was the worst thing I could do, I should have fought. Luckily he was wearing a condom that was the only good thing about it. He told me if I ever told that he would come after me. So I kept my mouth shut until I was 16, that's when I told my mom, but by that time it was too late.

The other time it happened, I guess I just couldn't judge guys well for a while after that. I started talking to a guy, he invited me to come over to a party he was having. He was having a pool party he said and told me alot of guys and girls would be there. So I went, got there and it was just him and his male friend. I asked where everyone else was, and he said it was like an hour or two earlier than when he told them to show up, and suggested we all watch a movie, so we did. He asked me if I wanted something to drink as he was fixing one for him and his friend as well. And I said sure, that I wanted a coke. Last thing I remember is drinking the coke. He drugged it. Then I woke up to him standing over me cleaning himself up. I have no fucking clue what they did to me, if only he raped me or the other guy joined in. But I had cuts and bruises all over me as if they were beating me the entire time. I was bleeding down there. And when I asked him why, he said all I did was tease him, so I deserved it. This was 7 months after the first guy raped me. So needless to say for a while I didn't trust any guy, and that's when I started dating girls.

As for the guy that "almost" raped me... it was our 3rd date. I was 15 at the time. And going through a phase lol where I was being a "nudist" for the most part. He convinced me that he was a nudist, his family are a nudists, and he's comfortable with it. So on the 3rd date we went to his place, he was 19 btw. And we went skinny dipping. Then we went in to get some snacks, we sat on the couch, cuddled and started listening to some music and talking. Then we started kissing, and he pushed himself on me, trying to have sex, and I said no, tried to push him off. Then he pushed my hands under me, behind my back, held me down. This time I was struggling and fighting, so he was having a hard time, then in a split second, I slipped my hands down to where they peeked out under my butt (I'm petite so short torso). As soon as he started to put it in, I grabbed him balls and sunk my nails in them! Of course he fell down in the pain, I had long nails, when I say long, like the length most ladies get their fake nails done, but mine were real, thick and strong (they grew like that before I gave birth haha). I think I squeezed and squeezed for a good few minutes, to the point he was bleeding. I let go stood up while he was screaming in agony, and kicked him square in the face, breaking his nose. And told him to never try that again or it will be worse. I grabbed my clothes and things, put em on real quick, walked outside and called a friend that lived not too far to come pick me up. I never heard from him again. But heard from a friend that knew him also that he's now fucked up in the testicle area. Doctors said he can't have kids, I said GOOD!

So definitely fight ladies, it will be the only thing that will help. Sorry for the long post ladies, but I would just rather others be informed on what they can do to prevent more women from being victims.

Btw, I don't like sympathy, I'm not a victim, I'm a survivor. There are plenty of people in much worse situations than me. I just want to help warn other women so they won't get hurt. So please don't feel sorry for me, I'm fine. I hope this can be help to others