Thank you ladies for all of your kind words, input, and unbelievable inspiration. I am so glad to have this forum, because this sense of camaraderie really keeps me going and helps keep me grounded.
@gilly,
You are completely right. Our bodies are amazing entities that deserve the viewed and treated as such. We are not objects defined by our bra sizes! Thank you so much for your inspiring thoughts and ideas. Thanks for reminding me to
take care of my body, my wonderful temple and gift. Like you, I still want boobs for now, but I think I need to focus more on exercising, toning, and making sure that my body is healthy and my mind is positive. Boobs will come along the way, I am sure of it!!
@AbiDrew,
I think you are on to something. We have such rigid views in our society about what a "woman" is and what images we can assign to being a "woman." There is more to being a woman than your measurements and your body, and I think we all need to remember that from time to time. A woman, of any shape, size, or ethnicity, is a beautiful thing inside and out. It's a shame that the objectification of women has planted the seed in our minds of what a "woman" is. You go girl!!
@Doll,
I read your posts a lot, as I relate to them easily, and I have to say that you seem like an incredible person. You are clearly intelligent, you are caring, and you are driven (NBE takes devotion!!). I chase after that "perfect" body that is in my head, as well, but lately I am really working on accepting my body as it is now, living in it happily, and working toward a better future with the best version of
my body. You cannot strive to be like someone else, or you will go crazy!! Trust me, I have.
You should be proud of everything that you have achieved with all your hard work, because it is amazing. Don't get so down on yourself!! Your hard work will pay off in incredible ways!
News in the realm of NBE:
I am at the end of my first cycle back on PM. I have measured a few times, and it seems like either no growth or about 1/2". That is okay though, because I
feel changes in my breasts, and they are fitting in my bras better. I actually wore my "swelling/measuring" bra the other day, because it was comfortable and fit really well. It is a completely unpadded 34B. Like I have said before, 34 bands will never fit right because the bands are just way too big, but it was comforting to know that it could fit well, comfortably, and be held in place because my breasts fit into the cups sufficiently. I also brushed the dust off of my very first "inspiration" bra that my sister gave me about 6 years ago. It is a hot pink, VS balconet push-up in 34B, and it used to look SO HUGE to me. Now it fits like a glove!!
SO, changes are happening whether the tape says it or not. I think I can finally classify myself as a small 32C. My breasts are now more than a handful for me. My new measuring bra is an unpadded 32C from Forever 21 that fits, but there is still a little room to be filled up. I am hoping that I can fill it up by December!
This month my routine was as follows:
Days 1-14:
1 Ainterol PM pill twice a day
1 Gelatin Pill
1 MSM pill
1 Vitamin C
1 Multi-Vitamin
1 Calcium, Magnesium, Zinc
1 Ginko Biloba twice a day
6 gHP sport pills in the morning (this is for exercise purposes)
Days 15-start of period:
Everything is the same as above, except I do not take PM, but rather 3 Greenbush Enhancement blend capsules and 2 Greenbush Fennel Capsules.
I am starting to run out of things, such as my luteal phase herbs, so this month will be interesting. I may experiment with a low dose of PM in the luteal phase.
Oh, and also, I have only noogled a handleful of times since the move, but I have moved onto the large domes now! The mediums just feel too narrow/small for my chest, and plus, I am now fitting the larges like the mediums used to fit me. I am filling them up halfway, and they don't slide around or lose suction anymore! Yay! So, ladies, do not get discouraged if the measuring tape shows no difference, because it is not the be-all-end-all! Changes are happening! Slowly but surely...
). I think my anxiety is pretty much just chemically decided in the brain, not necessarily that my boobs really are THAT small that the world is gonna end, you know? I've had to work pretty hard on my self-esteem these past few months, and I've understood so much more and feel so much better in general, but some days I'm right back down to where I started and no amount of trying to think and reason with myself will make it sink in on those days.
). 
), and far beyond looks it does some really really incredible things. Even something simple that my feet carry me every day, or all the processes that go on without me even knowing is mind blowing, a lot of which scientists have no clue about. 
