02-07-2013, 22:25
Up until about 2 hours ago I didn't know about NBE, hell, I didn't even know there were women out there with 'small' breasts let alone underdeveloped breasts! I figured there would be a few, statistically speaking there would have to be - but I figured they would be so far away and hidden, I'd be more likely to find Narnia than a woman with the same sized breasts as me!
This has been nothing but a silent solitary battle. For the first 17 years of my life I thought I was a late bloomer, I held those stories of women growing into C or D cups close to my heart. At 22 I gave up hope and, probably like most of you, I just figured this is what I've got, like it or lump. I'm now 24 and have spent the past decade laughing off the comments of friends and family (honestly no one knows how deeply this affects me) - I've had people touch my boobs (drunkenly) to see how big they are, I spent my formal night (prom) shaking off comments from a close friend saying 'Look at your chest!' - admittedly I bought the completely wrong dress and immediately regretted it, I've had men hug me and claim 'Oh, wow, you don't have boobs, you can even feel it under your shirt that you don't!'
Safe to say I'm the only person in my family with underdeveloped breasts, luckily my sisters don't have D's or anything, so when they joke about small boobs they usually lump themselves into the joke as well as me.
I was in a long term relationship with a girl who disliked large boobs, it was the perfect set up, unfortunately we broke up and I thought I would never start something up with another person because of being too sub conscious. After a few years and having resigned myself to the fact that no one, especially not a guy (I'm bisexual for those that are confused) would ever date someone like me, I met a guy and things have been going so incredibly well! - my sub consciousness was a thing of the past. Or so I thought. It wasn't until he asked why I always wore a shirt when we got intimate that I realised this feeling of inadequacy was more subconscious than I thought. To this day I still brush away his hand when I'm lying down and he runs his hand over my chest in a loving way. It makes me internally cringe, not because I dislike his touch, I love his touch, but because I think he does it either out of habit from previous relationships or because he feels he 'has' too for my sake.
It's a joke between us now that he points out girls with 'small' boobs (I say small but he thinks c cups are small, men! pah!) I say 'No those are way too big, gross!' - but deep down it's just a pure jealous envy that I call those girls "gross" - honestly, I look at those girls with C cups with jealously. Pure envy. There's nothing worse than seeing a 13 year old walk pass with boobs 2 cups bigger than myself. Actually, there is something worse, I've avoided getting a mammogram because of this, I genuinely convinced myself that my breasts will be too small to fit in their machines, pure embarrassment and the thought of the humiliation has stopped me from being checked.
I hate feeling like this, I hate that society makes me feel like this, I hate that because no women with small breasts shows them off that I feel isolated and alone. I hate feeling guilty that my boyfriend is dating a girl with tiny breasts. Most of all I hate that I feel this way.
I'm so happy that I've possibly found a solution, if not just a group of women who possibly feel or have felt the way that i feel. I'm going to look into this more and research a good solution, I'm on my journey to possibly having a better quality of life! I pray that something works and I have a success story.
For possibly the first time ever in my life, I don't feel completely alone.
I'm sorry for the massive thread post but I've been able to finally get that off my chest (excuse the pun?) - I hope there will be others who can sympathise with me.
This has been nothing but a silent solitary battle. For the first 17 years of my life I thought I was a late bloomer, I held those stories of women growing into C or D cups close to my heart. At 22 I gave up hope and, probably like most of you, I just figured this is what I've got, like it or lump. I'm now 24 and have spent the past decade laughing off the comments of friends and family (honestly no one knows how deeply this affects me) - I've had people touch my boobs (drunkenly) to see how big they are, I spent my formal night (prom) shaking off comments from a close friend saying 'Look at your chest!' - admittedly I bought the completely wrong dress and immediately regretted it, I've had men hug me and claim 'Oh, wow, you don't have boobs, you can even feel it under your shirt that you don't!'
Safe to say I'm the only person in my family with underdeveloped breasts, luckily my sisters don't have D's or anything, so when they joke about small boobs they usually lump themselves into the joke as well as me.
I was in a long term relationship with a girl who disliked large boobs, it was the perfect set up, unfortunately we broke up and I thought I would never start something up with another person because of being too sub conscious. After a few years and having resigned myself to the fact that no one, especially not a guy (I'm bisexual for those that are confused) would ever date someone like me, I met a guy and things have been going so incredibly well! - my sub consciousness was a thing of the past. Or so I thought. It wasn't until he asked why I always wore a shirt when we got intimate that I realised this feeling of inadequacy was more subconscious than I thought. To this day I still brush away his hand when I'm lying down and he runs his hand over my chest in a loving way. It makes me internally cringe, not because I dislike his touch, I love his touch, but because I think he does it either out of habit from previous relationships or because he feels he 'has' too for my sake.
It's a joke between us now that he points out girls with 'small' boobs (I say small but he thinks c cups are small, men! pah!) I say 'No those are way too big, gross!' - but deep down it's just a pure jealous envy that I call those girls "gross" - honestly, I look at those girls with C cups with jealously. Pure envy. There's nothing worse than seeing a 13 year old walk pass with boobs 2 cups bigger than myself. Actually, there is something worse, I've avoided getting a mammogram because of this, I genuinely convinced myself that my breasts will be too small to fit in their machines, pure embarrassment and the thought of the humiliation has stopped me from being checked.
I hate feeling like this, I hate that society makes me feel like this, I hate that because no women with small breasts shows them off that I feel isolated and alone. I hate feeling guilty that my boyfriend is dating a girl with tiny breasts. Most of all I hate that I feel this way.
I'm so happy that I've possibly found a solution, if not just a group of women who possibly feel or have felt the way that i feel. I'm going to look into this more and research a good solution, I'm on my journey to possibly having a better quality of life! I pray that something works and I have a success story.
For possibly the first time ever in my life, I don't feel completely alone.
I'm sorry for the massive thread post but I've been able to finally get that off my chest (excuse the pun?) - I hope there will be others who can sympathise with me.
? There are women of all shapes and sizes who are proud of their body and share it with the world.