[GamerGuy]

Hello everyone! I'm your average genetic male , nothing special about me. I thought I'd introduce myself and get a few things off my chest while I spend time with PM trying to get other things ON my chest! hah!

Having said that, I feel like dumping a little of my life story on you all.

Again, I'm male-born, 28 years old, but have always acted "too girly" for my gender. I remember when I was 5 years old, my mother caught me playing dress-up with her stockings, quite embarrassing. I always had an easy time befriending girls, but the guys never really liked me much. I didn't act flamboyant or whatever the term is, but things always seemed to work that way. The cross dressing stopped abruptly but I took it up again around the time I hit puberty. My brain went all AHH WTF IS THIS and everything came back to me. That's when the self-loathing started, cursing myself in the bathroom mirror, wishing and wanting to just wake up the next morning and be suddenly female. On the outside nobody would have ever guessed. I got good at acting more male and eventually fooled myself into being totally "male". The private CDing never stopped, even to this day. Now I'm 28, have a wife and two young children, and I love my family dearly. My wife knows about my CDing and wholeheartedly disapproves of it. She says she loves me no matter what, and always will, but now I have a complication. The Trans-thoughts have returned, and it worries me deeply how it would affect my marriage. I love my wife truly, and would never wish to hurt her in any way. Now I feel like I have to force the TG out of me again and try to act as "manly" as I can. Oh, the things we do for those we love...

Now I'm here, perusing NBE in spite of what I just said.

[AnnieBL]

Hello everyone! I'm your average genetic male , nothing special about me. I thought I'd introduce myself and get a few things off my chest while I spend time with PM trying to get other things ON my chest! hah!

Having said that, I feel like dumping a little of my life story on you all.

Again, I'm male-born, 28 years old, but have always acted "too girly" for my gender. I remember when I was 5 years old, my mother caught me playing dress-up with her stockings, quite embarrassing. I always had an easy time befriending girls, but the guys never really liked me much. I didn't act flamboyant or whatever the term is, but things always seemed to work that way. The cross dressing stopped abruptly but I took it up again around the time I hit puberty. My brain went all AHH WTF IS THIS and everything came back to me. That's when the self-loathing started, cursing myself in the bathroom mirror, wishing and wanting to just wake up the next morning and be suddenly female. On the outside nobody would have ever guessed. I got good at acting more male and eventually fooled myself into being totally "male". The private CDing never stopped, even to this day. Now I'm 28, have a wife and two young children, and I love my family dearly. My wife knows about my CDing and wholeheartedly disapproves of it. She says she loves me no matter what, and always will, but now I have a complication. The Trans-thoughts have returned, and it worries me deeply how it would affect my marriage. I love my wife truly, and would never wish to hurt her in any way. Now I feel like I have to force the TG out of me again and try to act as "manly" as I can. Oh, the things we do for those we love...

Now I'm here, perusing NBE in spite of what I just said.

Hello GamerGuy,

Reading your post suggests to me that you have a classic case of gender variance - though don't take MY word for it. If I'm right, the you have the same sort of problems that many people who are here (or used to be here) have had, including myself. I used to think that just a little feminizing of my body, such as growing a nice little pair of breasts which could be taken as gynecomastia, would hold at bay that inner woman that had been so repressed during most of my life. I was so wrong. I remain, and have been for more years than I care to remember, very deeply in love with my wife, and I have two wonderful stepchildren; and I now have to reconcile my relationships with them with the irresistible forces generated by my gender identity. All of us in this sort of position have a difficult reconciliation to make. Some of us succeed, some don't, but our relationship with our significant other is at the least severely stressed. Eventually we move on from here like ClaraKay has today in her Progress in Pictures thread, and I will likely do so myself down the line. Just the same we all benefited immensely from our memberships here and hopefully have also left a legacy for a new generation of which I'd urge you to be part.

[GamerGuy]

I used to think that just a little feminizing of my body, such as growing a nice little pair of breasts which could be taken as gynecomastia, would hold at bay that inner woman that had been so repressed during most of my life.

I too, started with that train of thought. I believe though that it may just end up blasting the doors wide open to my feminine side. And to be honest, I would let it happen if it were just me that it were affecting.