[MadameBusty]

I feel the need to pour some of my feelings and thoughts out right now as the current situation is and has been affecting my program. My Oma has had a stroke(the 2nd in her life) she is progressively getting worse each day, I havnt been consistent with my program for this reason because I can barely eat one meal let alone take everything and am barely sleeping, boob growing is very trivial right now compared to someone you love deeply dying that's a given, I am trying to still do my program because it does make me happy but happiness is so fleeting right now anyways as I am grieving so heavily and am in a constant state of sadness or numbness, it's times like these that remind you how everyone/everything else is so small compared to a loved one leaving this Earth. I know this space is all about NBE and I will be trying but I needed to be honest and say I havnt been able to be truly consistent since all this tragedy started. My Oma is my everything and I have been praying to God that she be in comfort, I have been at the hospital daily, I am the only one she will talk to, I am the only one that can get her to listen to the nurse, to get her to feel comfort in her last moments, so I have been having to be there as without me she will barely be coherent to my dad or anyone, she keeps telling me how much she loves me, she cannot move more than her right arm and feet and not speak much other than struggle to say she loves me and her usual words/phrases. I am truly broken right now. I am taking a break from posting and from the site as reality has set in about importance.