[Jenniferlove]

One last thing for Timarie. It it unfair to assume that all females have healthy self-esteem. I would assume most of the females on here don't, hence the reason for being on here. In a Utopian world, we would feel good about ourselves without the assurance of others, ESPECIALLY our lover. But I'm going to bet most of us do suffer (even somewhat) from low self-esteem in the breast category.

I am happy that you are at a healthy level. That is where we all aspire to be. I am pretty much there more or less but even now if my bf were to put down my breast size I would be hurt. Because like I said, I want to be that perfect sparkling diamond in his eyes like he is to me.

[timarie]

I guess for me, I could tell that I was not "perfect" to him as he was saying. Sure it could have been self-esteem issues or lacking confidence that drove me to NBE, who knows? But he would pay almost no attention to my breasts, no comments, nothing. As I have written, they were just *there*. Yes, he would say I was perfect though and that is very kind of him because who doesn't want to feel beautiful and perfect to the love of their life? My ass always got MORE than enough love . But I wanted love in other places too, ya know? So as I have grown, I do wonder if my confidence is growing too and that is partially why I am getting more attention there?

Completely understand. I am the same way, and honestly sometimes I wonder if my libido would improve if I had bigger breasts, because they might be more sensitive. There are so many good reasons for wanting a little size increase, isn't there? As for the confidence-- perhaps! I am ok with the presentation of my breasts, but certainly more confident about my bum, so yeah, that's something to think about... although I am not sure if I could flaunt them (my bitty B breasts) any more than I do because they are so small, there is not enough to flaunt! haha See, I know they are small, and I know that it is typical that a man would prefer a bigger size for his satisfaction, and that's a fact. But I know it does not make me unlovable, so I am still happy with myself regardless of anything that can possibly be said. So, that is why I laugh about my small breasts sometimes I mean, think of all the well-loved celebrities who have small boobs. I know that was random, but somehow I felt it was related and appropriate

But yeah, if he had said something along the lines of "You're perfect but I wish your breasts were larger" 1) I would have dumped his ass for being a superficial asshole and 2) I would have gone right back at him with how HE is lacking. It wouldn't have been a pretty picture. So I do believe it's best to not nitpick the imperfections.
Look at this world we live in. "Perfection" is plastered everywhere, even though it usually isn't real. Whether it's photoshopped images or people with plastic surgery, it has raised the bar tremendously for us. Having a shallow boyfriend only would make the situation worse.
I noticed I wasn't getting attention in places where I wanted it so I took matters into my own hands. My bf's 2 cents would not have been appreciated if it was negative.

First of all, of course that would be a rude way to ever communicate the point that he loves you but is not satisfied with your breasts. I don't think any man who loves a woman and respects her enough to be honest with her would ever be so untactful to do it in that way. For SENIO, it happened in a way that was slow and he had to face the facts when she noticed he was having a more difficult time putting his hands up her shirt. In my opinion, this was not untactful. For me, I am kinda weird and I ask for critiques. Why? Because I know he has them, so why not let me know? Knowledge is power, at least in my opinion. I would be completely irritated, I know, if a man responded to my request for critiques with a "you're just perfect!" all the time. I would know that it was bull, and I feel treated like a kid when someone spoon feeds me bull, you know? Like, they don't respect the fact that I am a grown-ass woman enough to take any truth. But again, to each his own. What makes me happy is different from what makes you happy, as I eluded to in my last post. And I respect that completely.

But the truth about it is, in cases in which a man is honest about these things (but not as strangely blunt as in the example line you wrote), he is not a "superficial asshole" really. ALL men are more superficial and "shallow" than women when it comes to physical attractiveness (which is not breaking news), it is just a matter of to what degree a man wants to be completely open and honest about things with his woman. That is the difference. So, only evil dwells in the dark, so why not bring things to the light and make good out of it? And the good, again: to me knowledge is power.

And yes, I do believe I was the one who first mentioned the media pressuring us in my last post. And that is a shame, I agree. But again, I think it would be wrong for a woman to place that heavy responsibility on the shoulders of her man, to be the person who her self-esteem depends on. His job is to love her and make her feel loved and amazing, not to make stuff up about our appearances and his honest opinion of it (and YES, it IS possible to be honest with a woman about these things AND make her feel loved and amazing). I just cannot imagine the pressure, personally myself, as I find it difficult to lie or to even keep all of my feelings from my SO... so I would never want or expect him to do the same with me. But, then again, men have learned the art of keeping things from us because of our less than mature reactions to their honesty, so for many it has become second-nature in the face of a woman. They have learned that, if they want to keep a woman, they cannot tell her how he really feels when the topic comes up. I just HATE this, because I feel it creates a rift and distance between us because he cannot be 100% open with me, and as I mentioned earlier, is disrespectful to me as a grown woman. He sees me as a fragile child who is still told the lovely lies of Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny to keep me from getting upset. There is always going to be a rift between the liar and the liee (I know I just made that word up, but you know what I mean!), like an inability to be best friends on an open, completely honest level. I hate rifts. And it is usually only the liar who is aware of the rift (obviously, because the liee is typically unaware of the lie), which is one of the reasons why men don't feel as close to us as we do to them usually. But not all people want a "best friend" open relationship with their SOs, and like it to be more strictly dreamy and romantic, and I respect that too. We all have different needs to be met.

One last thing for Timarie. It it unfair to assume that all females have healthy self-esteem. I would assume most of the females on here don't, hence the reason for being on here. In a Utopian world, we would feel good about ourselves without the assurance of others, ESPECIALLY our lover. But I'm going to bet most of us do suffer (even somewhat) from low self-esteem in the breast category.

I am happy that you are at a healthy level. That is where we all aspire to be. I am pretty much there more or less but even now if my bf were to put down my breast size I would be hurt. Because like I said, I want to be that perfect sparkling diamond in his eyes like he is to me.

But that is my point, which I think you may be missing. Your breasts will not be the determining factor in being the perfect sparkling diamond in his eyes like he is to you. You will be that to him for whatever reason you were always that to him. Boobs won't change that at all. I mean, you admitted that he is not near your ideal yet you are crazy about him. So, if the point of the matter ever came up and he admitted to how he felt about your breasts, it shouldn't hurt you because you should know how he feels about you. I never made the assumption that all women have good self-esteems. I said that all women should have good self-esteems and it is not a job of the significant other to fix. It should NEVER be someone else's job, and this is why so many men dread relationships because of that perspective and "duty." It is our own to fix, is all I am saying. I did not get my self-esteem from anyone. I worked on it myself. My ex hardly ever complimented me for 4 years and occasionally would give critiques (mainly because I asked for them, though...) yet my self-esteem is ok. Meaning: it can be done on your own. I think any woman has the capability of doing so, as well. You have to want it and believe in yourself, though, and not depend on others for it. Believe and know that you are beautiful and lovable and unique, flaws and all. "Flaws" never make you less lovable.

And again, I agree with you that probably most girls on this site suffer from a low self-esteem. But that still does not change the fact that they should not depend on others to improve it for them.

So, the bottom line...
As I said in my last post, you enlightened me to now know that there are those who prefer this kind of relationship, and to each their own and I respect that completely. I respect those who willingly and knowingly choose this way of life. I just don't respect those who honestly believe the "you're perfect!" line and hold that standard to every man, making the honest man a jerk or a "superficial asshole." It is simply unjust to give them such a label because we want to live in our little fantasy worlds where we are princesses and feel good about ourselves without working for that feeling (being dependent on him).

I hope that all makes sense.

[swannnn]

A BOY like that doesn't deserve you. I specifically called him "BOY" since he doesn't deserve to be a called a man. Only immature boys go after the boobs while real men will love you for who you are. Sure all men love boobs but that won't stop them from wanting to date someone they love.

I worry all the time about my breast size and how my future hubby will feel about them but that changes when I think about how the man I will be marrying will be loving me for me not my breast size. I am trying to get bigger breasts for myself and my own self esteem. If he complains about the breast size it's a sign to you to move on and it's better moving on early on rather than we you get too attached.

If your bf's package is small I would make a comment on that. Boys that comment about a woman's breast size when they have a small package down there shouldn't even think about opening their mouths.

[timarie]

A BOY like that doesn't deserve you. I specifically called him "BOY" since he doesn't deserve to be a called a man. Only immature boys go after the boobs while real men will love you for who you are. Sure all men love boobs but that won't stop them from wanting to date someone they love.

I worry all the time about my breast size and how my future hubby will feel about them but that changes when I think about how the man I will be marrying will be loving me for me not my breast size. I am trying to get bigger breasts for myself and my own self esteem. If he complains about the breast size it's a sign to you to move on and it's better moving on early on rather than we you get too attached.

If your bf's package is small I would make a comment on that. Boys that comment about a woman's breast size when they have a small package down there shouldn't even think about opening their mouths.

I'm personally tired of people commenting so passionately about something they didn't even read thoroughly or come to understand thoroughly. Maybe you should read the rest of the thread, shall you?

[Wishin]

But that is my point, which I think you may be missing. Your breasts will not be the determining factor in being the perfect sparkling diamond in his eyes like he is to you. You will be that to him for whatever reason you were always that to him. Boobs won't change that at all. I mean, you admitted that he is not near your ideal yet you are crazy about him. So, if the point of the matter ever came up and he admitted to how he felt about your breasts, it shouldn't hurt you because you should know how he feels about you. I never made the assumption that all women have good self-esteems. I said that all women should have good self-esteems and it is not a job of the significant other to fix. It should NEVER be someone else's job, and this is why so many men dread relationships because of that perspective and "duty." It is our own to fix, is all I am saying. I did not get my self-esteem from anyone. I worked on it myself. My ex hardly ever complimented me for 4 years and occasionally would give critiques (mainly because I asked for them, though...) yet my self-esteem is ok. Meaning: it can be done on your own. I think any woman has the capability of doing so, as well. You have to want it and believe in yourself, though, and not depend on others for it. Believe and know that you are beautiful and lovable and unique, flaws and all. "Flaws" never make you less lovable.

And again, I agree with you that probably most girls on this site suffer from a low self-esteem. But that still does not change the fact that they should not depend on others to improve it for them.

This is such an interesting conversation and really hitting home for me! My last husband was incredibly emotionally abusive. I managed to keep my self esteem up and left stronger than ever. I met a man who seemed perfect and who loved me for me. Or so I thought. After marriage "bigger is better" came out of his mouth several times. The fact that his ex got a boob job for him came up. Pictures of said boob job showed up on his phone. I didn't let it bother me too much - he left her (or so he told me) and had chosen me so obviously breasts weren't everything! However, our sex life was diminishing and eventually dwindled down to nothing. I admit, I stopped trying because you can only be rejected so many times before you quit advancing.

Then fast forward a few months later and the big breasted pornography was found - repeatedly. I found out his ex left him, not the other way around. Then finally I found a full naked picture of another ex with huge natural boobs. I threw his ass out on the street for that one. His preferences are clear and he's done a severe number on my self esteem.

His 2 ex's were awful, horrible people. Yes, I've met one personally and came to this conclusion before I even knew she was an ex. Yet, they obviously had what he wanted most. I don't, despite doing everything I could for the man. I'm working hard to re-gain the self esteem he has cost me. I've never put myself esteem in the hands of another, but wow, he managed to destroy it down to nothing and I'm struggling to gain it back.

Don't get me wrong, I'm growing my breasts for ME and for my self-confidence. I do a lot of other stuff to regain it as well and I do know it's not all about the physical. But I sure feel bigger breasts would help me a bit in this arena! They've always been a cause of self-consciousness for me.

So, long sad story short, I never depended on others to build my self esteem or judged myself by what others thought, but it's simply amazing how one person could destroy what I've worked so hard for so quickly.