[echapman]

I am the SAME way. When my husband and I first started dating I had previously been in a rough relationship where communication didn't exactly flow and I was not used to being with someone who actually wanted to talk about issues rather than ignoring them until they erupted in screaming matches.

I would shut down when he would want to discuss things, and I would bottle my feelings up rather than talking to him about it.

I finally got to the point where I asked myself did I love him? Yes. Would I be devastated if things ended? Yes. I realized it was MY relationship too, and it would only go the way I knew it could go if I helped it get there. I loved him, and he deserved me with my walls down... even if it meant feeling vulnerable and led to situations that made me uncomfortable. And at first it was uncomfortable! I would agonize over telling him how I felt about things that were upsetting me, (ex- we aren't having as much sex. Why? or You've seemed distant lately, are things okay with us?) I quickly realized that it became a lot easier over time, and the communication really did make us a lot closer!

My advice is take baby steps. I think I started out by texting him my feelings... he would usually call me and make me actually talk about it. It definitely took getting used to it but before I knew it I could bring things up face-to-face.