[echapman]

No judgement here. I've made decisions I'm not proud of. I've been in your shoes before although the guy wasn't my significant others friend.

It's really easy to think the grass is greener on the other side. Especially when you're having issues and you've been with someone for a long time. The newness wears off. You see sides of the person you're with that you didn't notice in the beginning.

I don't think you're really as attracted to M as you think you are. M is attractive and he makes you feel good. It's easy to get caught up in the feeling of excitement and flattery that he gives you. He's new, he's mysterious. You haven't seen "those" sides of him yet. The biggest mistake you can make is getting these feelings mixed up with love. Another thing too is that if M were a man worth your time he wouldn't be after a girl who is in a relationship. Especially one that is dating his friend. He should have more loyalty to your boyfriend and more respect for you than that.

If you truly aren't happy then leave. You deserve happiness. But do it of your own accord... Not to be with someone else who may leave you missing what you had!

Best of luck to you sweetie

Thanks for your reply echapman!
Sometimes you really need a different view from someone who is not involved in all that "Drama".
You helped me to see thing in a different view.
It's true that the newness is washed off. Everything is commonplace now. But I love him my bf, even though... And he loves me!

I hope I'll get M out of my mind soon. The day after we went to the birthday Party, I really thought M and me could be friends and that I can conform to be just friends. I thought M is just like a big brother to me.

Don't know what happened than Maybe these fights (in the Moment me and my bf are fighting daily) let me dream of a relationship to M?

Thanks a lot echapman! :-)

It's DEFINITELY the fights. I am telling you, I have been right where you are. The newness wears off, you argue... then you argue more because you're upset about arguing. You get used to each other so you start missing those butterflies and that affection you got when you first got together. Honey I know exactly how you're feeling.

Your best bet is to cut M off. Be polite, but stick close to your bf when you hang out. Avoid being alone. If he questions it, tell him you think your friendship has crossed a line and you would feel more comfortable if you stepped back for a bit.

As for your relationship. When something breaks in your home you don't buy a new house. You fix it. Find out what exactly your problems are... sometimes it's not at all what you think! I thought my husband had lost interest in me or felt less attracted to me. I beat myself up constantly over not being "his type" and I got depressed and very self-destructive. He was just stressed about work and because I have always been the positive one in our relationship my new negative attitude was completely throwing it off and making things worse! Things just kept escalating until we finally sat down and had a heart to heart.

Try to get back to the start, so to speak. Some nights it just takes getting a little extra dolled up even if it's just to watch movies around the house. Make a list of all the reasons you fell for your bf. Pick and choose your battles... sometimes you just have to say "I love you and I am not going to let this issue ruin our day, so let's move on and not argue about it." Which is hard because sometimes you really want to get mad and tell him why!