27-04-2010, 02:45
Wow, this thread is really interesting, I love it how we can all share our experiences here with no one judging, and support each other! Anastasia´s and Cheryl´s lives are very inspiring, you seem to be true fighters. You don´t get to meet much of those in real life, I think most people prefer to complain a lot and not do much to change their circumstances. So yea, I really enjoy these posts.
Hope you´re getting along now Nyx, very sorry to hear about those rapists.
As for being used by guys, I´ve been through that as well (though not particularly violent rape), sometimes you just run into men who are experts in making you believe they are your soul mate or whatever, then run off when you sleep with them. I had something like that happen to me with someone who was in a serious relationship with someone else. He had me fooled completely, he was so intense I thought he had genuinely fallen for me but afterwards I just think he was some kind of creep, lol!
I agree that the best strategy is always to wait as long as possible before becoming intimate with a guy, and get to know him first. Otherwise it´s easy to feel used. As a rule it´s no good to rush or force things.
I think I´ve gotten myself in situations when I felt used afterwards because I was not comfortable with being on my own (I think there was some social pressure to be in a relationship, luckily I don´t care about that anymore), so I didn´t let
things develop at a natural pace and assumed I was in a relationship when I was just getting to know the guy. This didn´t happen a lot of times, but it is enough to make you unhappy for a long time!
Looking back, the only relationships that were worthwhile were the ones with guys who had the patience to wait and just enjoy my company in the meanwhile. So well, hope that helps some Black Hippie, and do not become paranoid, lol!!
Hope you´re getting along now Nyx, very sorry to hear about those rapists.
As for being used by guys, I´ve been through that as well (though not particularly violent rape), sometimes you just run into men who are experts in making you believe they are your soul mate or whatever, then run off when you sleep with them. I had something like that happen to me with someone who was in a serious relationship with someone else. He had me fooled completely, he was so intense I thought he had genuinely fallen for me but afterwards I just think he was some kind of creep, lol!
I agree that the best strategy is always to wait as long as possible before becoming intimate with a guy, and get to know him first. Otherwise it´s easy to feel used. As a rule it´s no good to rush or force things.
I think I´ve gotten myself in situations when I felt used afterwards because I was not comfortable with being on my own (I think there was some social pressure to be in a relationship, luckily I don´t care about that anymore), so I didn´t let
things develop at a natural pace and assumed I was in a relationship when I was just getting to know the guy. This didn´t happen a lot of times, but it is enough to make you unhappy for a long time!
Looking back, the only relationships that were worthwhile were the ones with guys who had the patience to wait and just enjoy my company in the meanwhile. So well, hope that helps some Black Hippie, and do not become paranoid, lol!!