[dreamergirl]

I can relate to your last sentence about the self loathing. 
You said you can't order anything online. Can you send money via paypal? I could order you a Kangzhu pumping set online (cheap version of Noogleberry, I am very happy with mine) and send it your way?

Very motivating for me to read that nipple position can change, I hope you are happy with the change? Congrats on being able to make more cleavage and on your breasts becoming rounder, fuller and heavier!!

I'm very touched by your offer, thank you. I did not ever expect that someone on this site would offer to help me out like that. Unfortunately due to my living situation I'm not able to do online purchases or transfers.

My personal suspicion about the nipple placement is that it will "move" depending on where the fat grows, or if the weight of the breast increases. If you gain more lower breast fat it may appear to move up, but in my case due to the weight dragging it down it appears lower. I'm happy with it.

It's a struggle still to notice changes due to the high chance that I am suffering from BDD but I'm happy with the progress I have made so far and hope to keep growing.

I would have loved to help you out! I know what it's like to want or to be desperate to change the size or shape of your breasts. I don't know what your situation is like, but if there is anything I can do to help, just let me know :-) 

I see. My nipple points outward when I am laying on my side. When laying on my left side, my right nipple points up because the fat from my breast moves to the inside. I'm not happy about that. There is a gap between my breasts, so I am wondering that if I gained more breast fat on the inner side, this wouldn't be happening anymore.

Glad you are happy about your nipple appearing lower and about the overall progress you have made even though it is hard for you to notice changes. 
Are you taking pictures of yourself for comparison?

I also have a gap between my breasts and it's something that I am working on changing. Although right now the fat refuses to grow there, it all seems to grow outwards towards my armpit area.

Unfortunately I cannot take pictures due to how they make me feel. I know a few people here have told me to take them but I can't. And I know that the visual appearance does not necessarily equal the growth.

I am instead feeling them regularly, keeping track of the volume and how it feels in my hand, measuring and taking my cup size which has grown.

I really hope that the fat will eventually grow between your breasts. I am actually trying to 'move' the fat there instead of growing it. I have small Kangzhu cups and will lay on my side and then try to pull the fat there by pumping and then leave the cups on. I just recently started doing this so I have no idea if this is going to work. 

I understand. If taking pictures makes you feel bad, then maybe it is better not to take or at least not to keep them, and by not keeping them you won't have a way of comparing, so why take them in the first place. I get that seeing yourself in a picture can make you feel worse about yourself. I feel the same way, but I am not a fan of measurements since I find it hard to measure at the exact same place every time or maybe the tape is tighter one time, I am always confused. And I am hoping that some day I will be able to look back and be glad that I don't look like this anymore.
As long as you have found a way for yourself to track your progress, then it's all good :-)

That is true. Sometimes I wish I had a picture of the very start so I could compare. Back when I started I couldn't make my breasts touch eachother in the middle except maybe with extreme force, so I know things were very different. I can get a reasonable cleavage with a good pushup bra now but it feels very shallow since the breasts are still small and being forced together. My goal is to have a full and natural cleavage.

I'm hoping to look back and see a big difference even in my clothed pictures!

And good luck with moving the fat towards the middle it's a very good idea!