07-03-2011, 12:16
Wahaika, I do like that you help the ladies here on the forum with the knowledge you have about herbs and whenever people ask me specifics about them I send them your way, because of course you're more knowledgeable on that subject then I am.
That being said, I can tell by your undertone you are a very religious person, I grew up with bible thumpers, I'll try to keep my opinions about that to myself as to not offend anyone. And that's what you should do also. Your opinions about gays, transsexuals, crossdressers, etc. is very biased. You have to realize in society there are so many religions, beliefs, and people. And yes we have to accept them for who and what they are. I myself don't care for extreme Christians, I'm not going to go into why, but I don't. I tolerate them. So if I were to be like you, going around putting my beliefs about that certain group onto others, wouldn't you find that wrong? Yep, you would. Which is messed up in itself. And trust me I have as much reason to not like them as you don't about the group we are discussing. There is a time and place for everything. And I feel that you pushing your beliefs about this group onto this mother is the worst thing ever.
I speak from experience here. I'm bisexual, yet my family has no clue, I don't live near them, and we are not close. Why? Because they are like you, very religious and judge people left and right. You can say there is something wrong with me all day long, but I am attracted to females and males, just the way it is. I have dated both, but married a male, if I found a female I was this in love with, I would have married her. So basically my family is missing out by being stuck in their judgments and beliefs, they are missing out being close to me right now. And I guarantee, if this mother does what you are suggesting to an adult child, he will take off and not look back. She will lose him.
I have known transgenders in similar situations, parents found out at one point, some were accepting and some weren't. The ones that weren't, lost their child. So you tell me, if you had a son that you found in a similar situation, had grown breasts, would you rather push these beliefs and think of what he's done as "evil" and as an effect lose him? Or would you try to be accepting, maybe you both go to counseling to understand if he is really this way and why, then you would have your child in your life longer? Same question, but reversed, what if you had a daughter trying to minimize her breasts and curves, cutting her hair short, and dressing like a boy... would you push these same beliefs that she is "ruining" herself? Possibly pushing her away and again losing your child. Or would you seek to try to understand her? Personally I would already understand, but for those who don't, I would suggest group counseling to understand one another. Get to the root of it all.
If my own son turns out gay, transgender, crossdresser, etc. (which I doubt because he's a huge flirt with the girls) Then I would accept him and love him no matter what. Your type of mentality is why gays and the like are killed, bullied, abused, everyday. Is it right because of how someone feels that they are and their beliefs that they go through that? I don't think so. That's like if society turned and went against Christians and did the same thing to them because of their beliefs and how they are, that wouldn't be right either. I think everyone should be accepted as long as they are not doing anything illegal, etc. Like I wouldn't go as far as saying Satanists should be accepted when they kill people and animals for rituals, that shouldn't be accepted, that's an example of the fine line.
I'm sorry but I don't think your advice is best on this subject. If she took the advice she could end up losing her child all together. Those are my thoughts, not in any way trying to talk down to anyone.
That being said, I can tell by your undertone you are a very religious person, I grew up with bible thumpers, I'll try to keep my opinions about that to myself as to not offend anyone. And that's what you should do also. Your opinions about gays, transsexuals, crossdressers, etc. is very biased. You have to realize in society there are so many religions, beliefs, and people. And yes we have to accept them for who and what they are. I myself don't care for extreme Christians, I'm not going to go into why, but I don't. I tolerate them. So if I were to be like you, going around putting my beliefs about that certain group onto others, wouldn't you find that wrong? Yep, you would. Which is messed up in itself. And trust me I have as much reason to not like them as you don't about the group we are discussing. There is a time and place for everything. And I feel that you pushing your beliefs about this group onto this mother is the worst thing ever.
I speak from experience here. I'm bisexual, yet my family has no clue, I don't live near them, and we are not close. Why? Because they are like you, very religious and judge people left and right. You can say there is something wrong with me all day long, but I am attracted to females and males, just the way it is. I have dated both, but married a male, if I found a female I was this in love with, I would have married her. So basically my family is missing out by being stuck in their judgments and beliefs, they are missing out being close to me right now. And I guarantee, if this mother does what you are suggesting to an adult child, he will take off and not look back. She will lose him.
I have known transgenders in similar situations, parents found out at one point, some were accepting and some weren't. The ones that weren't, lost their child. So you tell me, if you had a son that you found in a similar situation, had grown breasts, would you rather push these beliefs and think of what he's done as "evil" and as an effect lose him? Or would you try to be accepting, maybe you both go to counseling to understand if he is really this way and why, then you would have your child in your life longer? Same question, but reversed, what if you had a daughter trying to minimize her breasts and curves, cutting her hair short, and dressing like a boy... would you push these same beliefs that she is "ruining" herself? Possibly pushing her away and again losing your child. Or would you seek to try to understand her? Personally I would already understand, but for those who don't, I would suggest group counseling to understand one another. Get to the root of it all.
If my own son turns out gay, transgender, crossdresser, etc. (which I doubt because he's a huge flirt with the girls) Then I would accept him and love him no matter what. Your type of mentality is why gays and the like are killed, bullied, abused, everyday. Is it right because of how someone feels that they are and their beliefs that they go through that? I don't think so. That's like if society turned and went against Christians and did the same thing to them because of their beliefs and how they are, that wouldn't be right either. I think everyone should be accepted as long as they are not doing anything illegal, etc. Like I wouldn't go as far as saying Satanists should be accepted when they kill people and animals for rituals, that shouldn't be accepted, that's an example of the fine line.
I'm sorry but I don't think your advice is best on this subject. If she took the advice she could end up losing her child all together. Those are my thoughts, not in any way trying to talk down to anyone.