Please don't pay any attention to the Wahaika. Someone needs to put her in a head to toe robe and drop her into a backward area of North Africa. Then she can gain an understanding of feeling differently than the majority around you and not having the power to change how those with authority feel about you.
Regarding your son, I don't know you or your son. I wouldn't presume to tell you how to deal with it, or to tell either of you what you have to accept or tolerate from the other. I understand you probably can't put yourself into his shoes any more than he can put himself in yours (although it seems the literal interpretation of that might be possible). I can only offer the idea that if you feel strongly enough that he has "broken" himself and needs to be "fixed", then you might consider minimizing the damage to both of you, your daughter and other people you care about who would get hit with the splash damage from such a battle. Based on what he has done, and how far he has gotten with it, I sincerely doubt you will be able to do anything other than discover for yourself what role you can play or be willing to play in his world. If you want to try to force him to think the way you were taught to think, be prepared for a fight that will have all sorts of collateral damage to you and yours.
If you genuinely want to understand what he is doing, this forum and others like it (try susans.org for more info on androgyny and people who want to be both genders or neither) are great places to gather points of view from the extreme like wahaika to many well balanced, educated perspectives. Deciding which ones are meaningful or useful to you is the hard part. Anyone who tells you they know the whys of it is guessing. There is a great variety of whys and I have never yet read of one that was not complex and only partly understood.
Either way, I hope you are able to find common ground enough with your son to be able to continue and perhaps even grow the depth and strength of your relationship with him. He will benefit greatly from your genuine support. The path he is taking is far from easy. There are many, many wahaikas out there.
I wish you both the best.
Regarding your son, I don't know you or your son. I wouldn't presume to tell you how to deal with it, or to tell either of you what you have to accept or tolerate from the other. I understand you probably can't put yourself into his shoes any more than he can put himself in yours (although it seems the literal interpretation of that might be possible). I can only offer the idea that if you feel strongly enough that he has "broken" himself and needs to be "fixed", then you might consider minimizing the damage to both of you, your daughter and other people you care about who would get hit with the splash damage from such a battle. Based on what he has done, and how far he has gotten with it, I sincerely doubt you will be able to do anything other than discover for yourself what role you can play or be willing to play in his world. If you want to try to force him to think the way you were taught to think, be prepared for a fight that will have all sorts of collateral damage to you and yours.
If you genuinely want to understand what he is doing, this forum and others like it (try susans.org for more info on androgyny and people who want to be both genders or neither) are great places to gather points of view from the extreme like wahaika to many well balanced, educated perspectives. Deciding which ones are meaningful or useful to you is the hard part. Anyone who tells you they know the whys of it is guessing. There is a great variety of whys and I have never yet read of one that was not complex and only partly understood.
Either way, I hope you are able to find common ground enough with your son to be able to continue and perhaps even grow the depth and strength of your relationship with him. He will benefit greatly from your genuine support. The path he is taking is far from easy. There are many, many wahaikas out there.
I wish you both the best.