05-09-2011, 02:35
Okay, I hope someone can shed some light on this situation. There´s this guy I´m friends with who´s always been attracted to me - I know because he´s told me so many times. We´ve been communicating almost only online for years because we´re both busy, and this year I told him I was interested in him as well (I got divorced a couple of years ago and wasn´t into dating for a while).
Since then we´ve been chatting romantically almost every day, and have had cybersex and phonesex which is always very intense. The thing is, that´s the only thing we do! At first I thought that was normal because he lives far away and works long hours, but it´s been months now and we haven´t seen each other in person. When I hint at getting together he tells me he wants to see me in the future, not now (??). I feel like he´s kind of "dosifying" me, he tells me he´d like us to start getting physical slowly when we do meet. I´m not sure what to make of this. This is a grownup, almost 40 (like myself) and isn´t involved with someone else, as far as I know. The other thing that´s weird is that he´s never been married or even lived with someone, though he has had girlfriends, so perhaps there are some commitment issues?
But anyway, am I being too impatient? Is he just shy or what? I know it´s hard to speculate on other people´s motives but I´d appreciate some insights because this situation is making me very irritable (though of course I try to keep my cool when I´m talking with him).
Since then we´ve been chatting romantically almost every day, and have had cybersex and phonesex which is always very intense. The thing is, that´s the only thing we do! At first I thought that was normal because he lives far away and works long hours, but it´s been months now and we haven´t seen each other in person. When I hint at getting together he tells me he wants to see me in the future, not now (??). I feel like he´s kind of "dosifying" me, he tells me he´d like us to start getting physical slowly when we do meet. I´m not sure what to make of this. This is a grownup, almost 40 (like myself) and isn´t involved with someone else, as far as I know. The other thing that´s weird is that he´s never been married or even lived with someone, though he has had girlfriends, so perhaps there are some commitment issues?
But anyway, am I being too impatient? Is he just shy or what? I know it´s hard to speculate on other people´s motives but I´d appreciate some insights because this situation is making me very irritable (though of course I try to keep my cool when I´m talking with him).