17-10-2012, 15:42
I could use some advice, I'm a bit devastated at the moment. My husband confessed to me yesterday during my lunch break that he had an internet escapade with a woman, for the first year we were "exclusively" dating (we were living together from day one, long story). He had been chasing her for years before he met me, and apparently had unresolved feelings for her. Well she ran off during the beginning of their courtship years before he and i met and got pregnant, he was devastated. I had to call in the rest of the day at work, what great timing.
Funny thing is i had a dream 4 years ago that i remember vividly, where he was having an internet affair with a woman, and i told him about it when i had the dream. And all he said was hun it was just a dream it didn't mean anything...
He tells me there was no physical contact between them while he and i were together, just explicit photos and emails were exchanged. He lied to me by omission for 5 years, how can i believe that he is telling the whole truth about it now? What makes this even worse, is he is in a touring band, and is gone for a month or more at a time. I never had any doubt in my mind about his loyalty to me while on tour and in general till now.
He also says he did it out of vengeance, he wanted to string her along the way she had done him. He said he shared her photos with his friends. I don't know if i believe that, i know he also sent some pics of himself to her. He says there wasn't much emotion invested with her, but i don't believe that. I wish i had known before I decided to marry him, this would have weighed heavily in my decision.
I just have so many questions that i know wont be satisfied, even if he is telling me the truth now, i have doubt.
he has lived in an open manner for a long time now, his facebook and emails are left open on our computer. I want to trust that he has told me all that happened, but im having such a hard time.
Funny thing is i had a dream 4 years ago that i remember vividly, where he was having an internet affair with a woman, and i told him about it when i had the dream. And all he said was hun it was just a dream it didn't mean anything...
He tells me there was no physical contact between them while he and i were together, just explicit photos and emails were exchanged. He lied to me by omission for 5 years, how can i believe that he is telling the whole truth about it now? What makes this even worse, is he is in a touring band, and is gone for a month or more at a time. I never had any doubt in my mind about his loyalty to me while on tour and in general till now.
He also says he did it out of vengeance, he wanted to string her along the way she had done him. He said he shared her photos with his friends. I don't know if i believe that, i know he also sent some pics of himself to her. He says there wasn't much emotion invested with her, but i don't believe that. I wish i had known before I decided to marry him, this would have weighed heavily in my decision.
I just have so many questions that i know wont be satisfied, even if he is telling me the truth now, i have doubt.
he has lived in an open manner for a long time now, his facebook and emails are left open on our computer. I want to trust that he has told me all that happened, but im having such a hard time.