[timarie]

This is the world that i see, male are females but are too afraid to admit. Since they dont admit they start to act with ignorance trying to feel as The Male, on truth i say, male and female are the same, so if its justice for a woman to be as a male, why a male cant be as female? Isnt the best thing raise our childs side-by-side? Breast-feed? Feel their love, treat them with the best? So why male have to stay out gaining all the cash to raise his female for the female raise the childs? Many women spoke about male's position on society, but, all male position usualy comes with a lot of responsability, i'm not talking that women dont have responsabilities, for me women paper is amazing, but, usually the male stay with the math and finance (well there are computers nowadays for this right?).... i feel alone
I talk this because of my mom, she says she is a Jesus folower, but, she spoke bad of my father to me a lot of times, and still dependent of him. Isnt it a shame?

I really do love this paragraph. I often, many times, have contemplated on this very issue. What I came to understand is this: unfortunately, although we all have masculine and feminine sides to us, men are shamed upon when they associate with their feminine side because somehow, oddly, being feminine is being weak and it is for that reason that women are allowed to associate with their masculine side (because that will make them stronger), but why would men want to appear weaker? I personally despise this perspective. Just because we are physically less strong on average than men, does not make us weak over all. We are very strong in the love, care, and support that we have to offer, so much more than the average man does. But, for some reason, this strength is only seen as another weakness, making us more vulnerable since we are more aware of and connected with our emotions. But, I am sure as all things seem to come down to the same primal past, love is not what made the fittest survive. It was their physical fitness that determined survival and so, to this day this idea lies embedded in the primal male brain that the physically strong (men) are the better and stronger sex. This is why women are allowed to try to "bring ourselves up" to men's level because, after all, it is understandably desirable to want to be "as good as" a man... while it is socially forbidden for men to "stoop down" to the level of females.

And to address your passing comment about why men still seem to do most of the math? Well I think men tend to have less connection to their emotions and therefore have more strength in the field of math (or course, I am speaking very generally here as there are many brilliant women in the field of science... I am just addressing your point of "usually the male stay with the math and finance"). So I believe it is this reason which accounts for the "usual" occasions of which you speak. I do not know where you live, but in the Western culture, it is really no problem for the woman to take care of the finances and for the man to stay at home to take care of the children. I have many friends and extended family members who live this way. It depends on whatever works best for the individual couple, depending on their own individual strengths and weaknesses. For example, I am not so good at cooking and nor do I enjoy it... while my boyfriend loves it so much that he does it for his profession. So, guess who does the cooking when we eat? It would be rather silly for me to cook just because of some simple conventional beliefs. This is not so uncommon in the developed countries of the western hemisphere, and I believe Europe as well. I cannot speak for all cultures here as I am not familiar with all cultures. Maybe if you shared where you live, it would help us to better understand what you are dealing with in regards to your mother and why she talks about your father the way that she does. But I see this is something that you are considering as you are discerning which path to choose, as you dislike the pressure and disrespect seemingly placed on men within your culture and do not wish this disrespect of pressure for yourself.

So, we need new laws and a new light. On bible says "i am what i am.", alpha to omega, so how would we ignore our past? Did the holy book ignored that Paul chased Jesus? Or that Tamar prostituted to Juda to have a child, which some believes that is a far parent of Jesus? And why Juda used to go where prostitutes where? Its all common things, isnt it? Wasnt Oseas ordered by God to get a prostitute to have childs? If those things where so wrong, so it should be excluded from bible to not give bad ideia, right? But they are there. Isnt our flesh a gift? Why would we gain a life if its not to chase happiness? Its also write "The LORD is what gives and takes life, brings down to the grave, and it does make up", Ana said.

In regards to this, you will just need to be careful when reading about some things in the bible. There were many things, especially in the Old Testament, that were not what God really wanted despite the fact that God ordered it to happen. Recall in Matthew 19:8 "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning." This is just one example of the many ways in which God's desires and wishes for men of the earth to live according to God's ways were curbed before Jesus' coming. I am no Theology Major but I do have a Minor, and although it has been a while since I had studied anything of the Bible, I do know that God was more lenient with rules during the "before Christ" era due to expecting less of them. God expects more of us now because we are given more: we now have Christ, unlike those before His time. Therefore, for this reason, I do not take much of the ways of living in the Old Testament to be an example for my life today. And, honestly, according to Christ Himself, we were not put on this earth for the purpose of pursuing our own happiness; rather, we are put on this earth to serve God and in this we will find not earthly happiness but true happiness in following God. So, it is important for you to know that it is not what immediately brings you gratification or happiness that is what is "right" but more what is what God wants for you and, if you pursue this, this is what will make you happy in the end (although it will almost never bring you happiness from the start, since following God is almost always difficult). Yes, our flesh is a gift, and not all that brings us pleasure is bad! But it is important to know that our flesh is a gift in which we were brought to this earth to serve God and to be who God wants us to be. Only YOU can know who God wants you to be.

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I read your thread, and I was very moved. However, after reading your writing, it appears to me that you are looking for more than just a nice pat on the back and warm words of someone telling you that you are great the way you are... because I can see that you are tormented by being between two grounds. You feel inclined to both, and also torn from both. You described your feelings and situation so very well that I think I might be able to help you, perhaps, sort out your thoughts and feelings. I also want to tell you that I have my degree in Psychology, and that I come from a very religious household and so not only do I understand where your thoughts are coming from as far as religion is concerned, but I also can understand what is going on with your current feelings in relation to your past happenings.

I cannot GIVE you the answer to what is going on with you, but I can most certainly help you to understand what is happening to you better, and from there maybe if we are fortunate enough we can figure out what you will need to do to be truly happy. Is this what you would like, to understand what is going on to understand your course of action? That is how it appears to me, like you are unsure of why you are this way, and therefore who you really are. I personally think your only cure to healing is to understand why you have pain, why you feel both conflicting feelings that you feel, and to make a conscience and well informed decision on a path to take.

Please write if you are interested in discussing this with me, as I am here to help if you want. I am very religious, and I also consider myself to be very understanding and reasonable. Feel free to send me a private message if you would like to continue discussing this topic. Good luck and God bless!