21-10-2013, 18:54
Cheryl, I'm in pretty much the same boat as you. Not so much about the transition, that's still on the back burner, but, I've been lonely nearly my entire life! Growing up, most of my "friends" were just fair weather friends, and that can be put in the most literal of ways, because just before I turned 15, we got a pool in the yard and all the kids I'd hang out with were very friendly during the summer, but, when the pool was closed and snow on the ground, I was their number one snowball target! As soon as the pool opened again, they were my "bet friends" again!! In school, I was the kick-around boy.
When I was in the band in the `80's, I was the Peter Tork of the band. I had a lot of the great ideas, but nobody would listen to them until it was too late.
I've only ever had 3 "girlfriends", if you want to call them that. Sally got my cherry then told me she was just using me to make another guy jealous, the next year Carol & I (my best friend) had a fling, but I didn't know that it was because she was on the verge of having a another nervous breakdown. We're still best friends today, but she has NO recollection of us being lovers or having sex. I still haven't even told her about it! 8 years later I met Anu and we were VERY much an item for 10 years, until she started cheating on me and the se stopped after only 4 years together. 10 years and 2 months ago, I met an incredibly wonderful girl and she & I have been best friends ever since, but, I almost NEVER get to see her because she's VERY private, however, we can talk about ANYTHING together online. Even though we're VERY close, it's still like being very much alone anyway because I hardly ever get to talk to her and RARELY ever get to see her! For most of the past 8 years, her new hubby, whom I STILL have never met, has forced her to stop talking to me and nearly every friend she's ever had, including as lot of her own family!! Now that she's divorcing him, we can be best friends again, but, two jobs, two kids and a new boyfriend and dealing with her ex (a MAJOR asshole!!!!) keep her so busy, I hardly get to talk to her anymore.
And it seems like every time I make a new friend, I lose them or they get taken away from me before our friendship has had a chance to become something. For instance, I was helping a guy, Joe Kelly, run sound at a local venue and he & I became pretty close in those few months. He was helping another local muso to build a recording studio and said that, once it's done, he wants me to work there with him!! One of my dream jobs!! Well, a few weeks later, he was murdered!! Another new friend died of an accidental overdose which I'm SURE was caused by HER asshole of a hubby!!
Anyway, if you want to chat, I'm here. :-)
When I was in the band in the `80's, I was the Peter Tork of the band. I had a lot of the great ideas, but nobody would listen to them until it was too late.
I've only ever had 3 "girlfriends", if you want to call them that. Sally got my cherry then told me she was just using me to make another guy jealous, the next year Carol & I (my best friend) had a fling, but I didn't know that it was because she was on the verge of having a another nervous breakdown. We're still best friends today, but she has NO recollection of us being lovers or having sex. I still haven't even told her about it! 8 years later I met Anu and we were VERY much an item for 10 years, until she started cheating on me and the se stopped after only 4 years together. 10 years and 2 months ago, I met an incredibly wonderful girl and she & I have been best friends ever since, but, I almost NEVER get to see her because she's VERY private, however, we can talk about ANYTHING together online. Even though we're VERY close, it's still like being very much alone anyway because I hardly ever get to talk to her and RARELY ever get to see her! For most of the past 8 years, her new hubby, whom I STILL have never met, has forced her to stop talking to me and nearly every friend she's ever had, including as lot of her own family!! Now that she's divorcing him, we can be best friends again, but, two jobs, two kids and a new boyfriend and dealing with her ex (a MAJOR asshole!!!!) keep her so busy, I hardly get to talk to her anymore.
And it seems like every time I make a new friend, I lose them or they get taken away from me before our friendship has had a chance to become something. For instance, I was helping a guy, Joe Kelly, run sound at a local venue and he & I became pretty close in those few months. He was helping another local muso to build a recording studio and said that, once it's done, he wants me to work there with him!! One of my dream jobs!! Well, a few weeks later, he was murdered!! Another new friend died of an accidental overdose which I'm SURE was caused by HER asshole of a hubby!!
Anyway, if you want to chat, I'm here. :-)