[Wishin]

But that is my point, which I think you may be missing. Your breasts will not be the determining factor in being the perfect sparkling diamond in his eyes like he is to you. You will be that to him for whatever reason you were always that to him. Boobs won't change that at all. I mean, you admitted that he is not near your ideal yet you are crazy about him. So, if the point of the matter ever came up and he admitted to how he felt about your breasts, it shouldn't hurt you because you should know how he feels about you. I never made the assumption that all women have good self-esteems. I said that all women should have good self-esteems and it is not a job of the significant other to fix. It should NEVER be someone else's job, and this is why so many men dread relationships because of that perspective and "duty." It is our own to fix, is all I am saying. I did not get my self-esteem from anyone. I worked on it myself. My ex hardly ever complimented me for 4 years and occasionally would give critiques (mainly because I asked for them, though...) yet my self-esteem is ok. Meaning: it can be done on your own. I think any woman has the capability of doing so, as well. You have to want it and believe in yourself, though, and not depend on others for it. Believe and know that you are beautiful and lovable and unique, flaws and all. "Flaws" never make you less lovable.

And again, I agree with you that probably most girls on this site suffer from a low self-esteem. But that still does not change the fact that they should not depend on others to improve it for them.

This is such an interesting conversation and really hitting home for me! My last husband was incredibly emotionally abusive. I managed to keep my self esteem up and left stronger than ever. I met a man who seemed perfect and who loved me for me. Or so I thought. After marriage "bigger is better" came out of his mouth several times. The fact that his ex got a boob job for him came up. Pictures of said boob job showed up on his phone. I didn't let it bother me too much - he left her (or so he told me) and had chosen me so obviously breasts weren't everything! However, our sex life was diminishing and eventually dwindled down to nothing. I admit, I stopped trying because you can only be rejected so many times before you quit advancing.

Then fast forward a few months later and the big breasted pornography was found - repeatedly. I found out his ex left him, not the other way around. Then finally I found a full naked picture of another ex with huge natural boobs. I threw his ass out on the street for that one. His preferences are clear and he's done a severe number on my self esteem.

His 2 ex's were awful, horrible people. Yes, I've met one personally and came to this conclusion before I even knew she was an ex. Yet, they obviously had what he wanted most. I don't, despite doing everything I could for the man. I'm working hard to re-gain the self esteem he has cost me. I've never put myself esteem in the hands of another, but wow, he managed to destroy it down to nothing and I'm struggling to gain it back.

Don't get me wrong, I'm growing my breasts for ME and for my self-confidence. I do a lot of other stuff to regain it as well and I do know it's not all about the physical. But I sure feel bigger breasts would help me a bit in this arena! They've always been a cause of self-consciousness for me.

So, long sad story short, I never depended on others to build my self esteem or judged myself by what others thought, but it's simply amazing how one person could destroy what I've worked so hard for so quickly.