[roseblossom]

Sorry to hear that; I hope you've been able full recover and move on. Luckily, I got out before I got in too deep-- although I have to admit, one of them cost me several years of my self esteem. The last guy, though... I put a stop to that before we even kissed or held hands.

My sister's husband has been physically abusive and yet she's still with him. He's even broken her bones and thrown her. (She hid it from us for a long time...) Thankfully, he hasn't touched her recently. Still, her self esteem has dropped to an all-time low: she's convinced herself she deserves to be treated poorly.

Men and women alike need to confront their demons before being in a relationship. I think there are conditions in which practicing sexual abstinence could be healthy, if only to take the time to examine one's self and one's expectations for a prospective partner. (Unfortunately, this practice is discouraged in our society, where sex has been commodified.)

Your poor sister, that must have been awful for you to discover I hope she is getting the help she needs, it's so common to begin feeling like you deserve it.

I'm still in recovery. Starting a new program tomorrow actually. I do agree we all need to take the time to heal. You are lucky you spotted the last one early. Some are easier to spot, others hide it so well it's scary!

Thanks, they are seeing a marriage counselor and he is trying to deal with his anger-- apparently he wants to make the marriage work, he just doesn't know how to deal with his own problems. But sometimes, enough is enough! I do not feel too hopeful about their future together, but that's because I know him too well...

Some definitely are easier to spot! I also think I've become better at spotting them (thankfully): these days it only takes a date or two. (I make it a point to stop dating a guy after he insults me... but it always baffles me when they act surprised or hurt when I reject them.)

Best wishes on your journey to full recovery.