I was somewhat surprised that anal sex was no longer needed after starting PM. Before PM, I actually preferred being penetrated anally by DW over me penetrating her. Since my ability to penetrate her is virtually gone now except during the waning days of a PM break, I'm not sure how it's going to work in the long run. Prostate massage was fun at one time, but now I'm not particularly interested. Maybe that source of pleasure will return in time. There's no standing still in this journey.
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07-05-2014, 22:09
For me I still desire anal play (though it's been a while). For one it makes me feel much more feminine, and two the orgasm experienced from it is like no other I've had. Likewise, when I do venture to look at porn and masturbate the scenes typically revolve around this same theme.
If you get your SO to venture down that road, look at getting a We-vibe and Vac-u-lock system or Feeldoe,
If you get your SO to venture down that road, look at getting a We-vibe and Vac-u-lock system or Feeldoe,
07-05-2014, 22:31
(07-05-2014, 22:09)Scotti Wrote: For me I still desire anal play (though it's been a while). For one it makes me feel much more feminine, and two the orgasm experienced from it is like no other I've had. Likewise, when I do venture to look at porn and masturbate the scenes typically revolve around this same theme.
If you get your SO to venture down that road, look at getting a We-vibe and Vac-u-lock system or Feeldoe,
The most realistic dildo I've found is the VixSkin by VixenCreations.com. I bought the 'Bandit' model which is premium grade silicone, non-porous, and can be sterilized in boiling water or just put in the DW (oops - I mean dish washer...lol). The feel of this dildo is just incredible because the tip and outer sheath is a skin-like covering over a harder inner shaft.
Clara
08-05-2014, 11:51
Unfortunately for me NBE and now syn HRT has shrunk my prostate and I find it much harder to have an anal O....
They used to be earth shattering for me and I miss that...
They used to be earth shattering for me and I miss that...
Scotti Wrote: For me I still desire anal play (though it's been a while). For one it makes me feel much more feminine, and two the orgasm experienced from it is like no other I've had. Likewise, when I do venture to look at porn and masturbate the scenes typically revolve around this same theme.
If you get your SO to venture down that road, look at getting a We-vibe and Vac-u-lock system or Feeldoe,
ClaraKay wrote: The most realistic dildo I've found is the VixSkin by VixenCreations.com. I bought the 'Bandit' model which is premium grade silicone, non-porous, and can be sterilized in boiling water or just put in the DW (oops - I mean dish washer...lol). The feel of this dildo is just incredible because the tip and outer sheath is a skin-like covering over a harder inner shaft.
Clara
EvaMarie wrote: Unfortunately for me NBE and now syn HRT has shrunk my prostate and I find it much harder to have an anal O....
They used to be earth shattering for me and I miss that...
When I work my nipples I can produce some pleasurable spasms 'down there', a sort of mini-O. I've never been certain that the feelings actually came from the prostate. I think that NBE, or probably more accurately PM probably has shrunk my prostate and it has certainly seems to me to have alleviated my BPH symptoms. My PSA score, after hovering around 4.5 for years has fallen to near zero in the two tests since I started PM in earnest. As I told the urologist who is dead keen to ream out my prostate, it can't be much of a constriction if a bladder stone 14mm x 10mm x 7mm (the dimensions subsequently measured by the hospital reduced the first dimension slightly but increased the third dimension) can zip through my prostate and urethra at speed and only jam at the external exit. I've never managed to produce much result by direct prostate massage, and the condition of my sphincter has long ruled out using anything as big as a Feeldoe. We have one and for me it's too painful to insert either way, despite penetration having been for me in the past an important part of trying to feel female. My own male function having been wholly non-functional for the better part of four years, I did get us a Vaculock harness and a dildo for it which was very similar in size and appearance to what I used to have, but I found that the harness gave me little feedback as to what I was doing, and I now use the dildo manually, sometimes with a vibrator in its Vaculock socket. My wife reckons that while it's not as good as I used to be, it's a great deal better than nothing and it, together with a Hitachi massager with a G-spot extension, are the only toys we have tried which really help us, although I try to achieve as much as possible without the toys on the same basis as I always have. My wife has always preferred having things done to her, and has always been and still is very reactive, but has difficulty in believing how much I get out of producing that reaction. A further compensation is that we can often go on at high level for as long as she wants, or can take it, without losing me along the way, although there is still work to do on developing my 'down there' reaction to her working my nipples (which has always been part of our lovemaking). Probably far TMI, but I hope what the OP asked for.
If you get your SO to venture down that road, look at getting a We-vibe and Vac-u-lock system or Feeldoe,
ClaraKay wrote: The most realistic dildo I've found is the VixSkin by VixenCreations.com. I bought the 'Bandit' model which is premium grade silicone, non-porous, and can be sterilized in boiling water or just put in the DW (oops - I mean dish washer...lol). The feel of this dildo is just incredible because the tip and outer sheath is a skin-like covering over a harder inner shaft.
Clara
EvaMarie wrote: Unfortunately for me NBE and now syn HRT has shrunk my prostate and I find it much harder to have an anal O....
They used to be earth shattering for me and I miss that...
When I work my nipples I can produce some pleasurable spasms 'down there', a sort of mini-O. I've never been certain that the feelings actually came from the prostate. I think that NBE, or probably more accurately PM probably has shrunk my prostate and it has certainly seems to me to have alleviated my BPH symptoms. My PSA score, after hovering around 4.5 for years has fallen to near zero in the two tests since I started PM in earnest. As I told the urologist who is dead keen to ream out my prostate, it can't be much of a constriction if a bladder stone 14mm x 10mm x 7mm (the dimensions subsequently measured by the hospital reduced the first dimension slightly but increased the third dimension) can zip through my prostate and urethra at speed and only jam at the external exit. I've never managed to produce much result by direct prostate massage, and the condition of my sphincter has long ruled out using anything as big as a Feeldoe. We have one and for me it's too painful to insert either way, despite penetration having been for me in the past an important part of trying to feel female. My own male function having been wholly non-functional for the better part of four years, I did get us a Vaculock harness and a dildo for it which was very similar in size and appearance to what I used to have, but I found that the harness gave me little feedback as to what I was doing, and I now use the dildo manually, sometimes with a vibrator in its Vaculock socket. My wife reckons that while it's not as good as I used to be, it's a great deal better than nothing and it, together with a Hitachi massager with a G-spot extension, are the only toys we have tried which really help us, although I try to achieve as much as possible without the toys on the same basis as I always have. My wife has always preferred having things done to her, and has always been and still is very reactive, but has difficulty in believing how much I get out of producing that reaction. A further compensation is that we can often go on at high level for as long as she wants, or can take it, without losing me along the way, although there is still work to do on developing my 'down there' reaction to her working my nipples (which has always been part of our lovemaking). Probably far TMI, but I hope what the OP asked for.
09-05-2014, 17:53
The effect of PM on my sex life has been profound and unexpected. As I've written on other threads, I never got the pleasure I assumed I should as a man engaging in normal sexual intercourse. That seems to be a common characteristic of many cross gendered men. That is, we often prefer to be on the receiving end rather than the delivering end in our sexual relations. I've always experienced strong arousal response when my wife took charge, and later in life I encouraged it, but, alas, that is not her natural inclination.
My early experience with anal sex was not very good. I would always lose my erection when penetrated anally, which sent the message to my lover that I was turned off by it, even though I experienced pleasurable sensation when the prostate was massaged. Losing an erection during sex was always a problem for me that made twosome sex stressful for me when it should have been sensual and satisfying.
Eventually, I overcame my reluctance to engage in anal sex and found it immensely pleasurable, but, sadly, never orgasm inducing. My wife was more than happy to engage in anal sex with me as the recipient, never herself, and this form of sex seemed to satisfy my need to play the role of a woman in bed. Somehow, the need for male orgasm faded such that I came away from a love making session quite satisfied. Like you, Annie, I also found it very satisfying to give my wife an orgasm in whatever way she preferred, which, fortunately, doesn't often require penile penetration.
Since taking PM, my need for orgasmic sex has dropped way, way down, on par with that of my post-menopausal wife. Our need for intimacy is still alive though, and we often share moments of tenderness together with no expectation of completing the sex act. If it happens, it happens. If not, it's no longer a source of frustration or feelings of sexual inadequacy.
My original intention of maintaining my male sexual function, which seemed very important to me at the start of NBE, has become less so with each passing month. Anal sex has also, surprisingly, not taken on any importance. In fact, it has stopped entirely. When I think about it, it seems unfortunate because the memory of the pleasurable sensations it produced is still with me, but the desire is not. It's like PM has turned me into an asexual person. Has this happened to any of you? Was there something you did to bring orgasmic sex back into your life?
Clara
My early experience with anal sex was not very good. I would always lose my erection when penetrated anally, which sent the message to my lover that I was turned off by it, even though I experienced pleasurable sensation when the prostate was massaged. Losing an erection during sex was always a problem for me that made twosome sex stressful for me when it should have been sensual and satisfying.
Eventually, I overcame my reluctance to engage in anal sex and found it immensely pleasurable, but, sadly, never orgasm inducing. My wife was more than happy to engage in anal sex with me as the recipient, never herself, and this form of sex seemed to satisfy my need to play the role of a woman in bed. Somehow, the need for male orgasm faded such that I came away from a love making session quite satisfied. Like you, Annie, I also found it very satisfying to give my wife an orgasm in whatever way she preferred, which, fortunately, doesn't often require penile penetration.
Since taking PM, my need for orgasmic sex has dropped way, way down, on par with that of my post-menopausal wife. Our need for intimacy is still alive though, and we often share moments of tenderness together with no expectation of completing the sex act. If it happens, it happens. If not, it's no longer a source of frustration or feelings of sexual inadequacy.
My original intention of maintaining my male sexual function, which seemed very important to me at the start of NBE, has become less so with each passing month. Anal sex has also, surprisingly, not taken on any importance. In fact, it has stopped entirely. When I think about it, it seems unfortunate because the memory of the pleasurable sensations it produced is still with me, but the desire is not. It's like PM has turned me into an asexual person. Has this happened to any of you? Was there something you did to bring orgasmic sex back into your life?
Clara
09-05-2014, 21:42
Hm interesting observation Clara, We now only indulge in penetrative intercourse about once a month or so and I have found unless my darling wife plays with my nipples and breasts I have problems getting and maintaining an erection .My interest in sex is more like a middle age woman unlike the testosterone fuelled male I was before starting NBE .I am more calm and happy with myself now and I know my wife is happier now my male sex drive has waned and she does not feel pressured to accommodate my desires and enjoys our occasional intimate moments more now.
09-05-2014, 23:12
(This post was last modified: 10-05-2014, 00:48 by Samantha Rogers.)
This is interesting.
I have not actually engaged in sex for quite awhile...LOL...due in part to my virtually non existent libido, and partially to my wife's distaste for my revelations to her last January in regard to my dysphoria and the herbal regimen I have followed and the impact it has had on my physique. No telling if that (her distaste) is a permanent state of affairs or not, but that's beside the point.
In regard to myself, I have an expectation that my ability to engage in sex is still present, but now tied exclusively to an emotional attachment to the person with whom I would be engaging in said activity. Simple sex without that emotional love is, for me, I believe, a thing of the past.
So, forgive me if, for now, I really cannot answer this question. Should the situation alter and allow me to do so, I will try to return and offer a more relevant answer. LOL
I have not actually engaged in sex for quite awhile...LOL...due in part to my virtually non existent libido, and partially to my wife's distaste for my revelations to her last January in regard to my dysphoria and the herbal regimen I have followed and the impact it has had on my physique. No telling if that (her distaste) is a permanent state of affairs or not, but that's beside the point.
In regard to myself, I have an expectation that my ability to engage in sex is still present, but now tied exclusively to an emotional attachment to the person with whom I would be engaging in said activity. Simple sex without that emotional love is, for me, I believe, a thing of the past.
So, forgive me if, for now, I really cannot answer this question. Should the situation alter and allow me to do so, I will try to return and offer a more relevant answer. LOL
09-05-2014, 23:52
(09-05-2014, 23:12)Samantha Rogers Wrote: In regard to myself, I have an expectation that my ability to engage in sex is still present, but now tied exclusively to an emotional attachment to the person with whom I would be engaging in said activity. Simple sex without that emotional love is, for, me, I believe a thing of the past.
Yes, oh my yes. This is my experience as well. The emotional attachment becomes crucial to intimate relations. I'm sorry that that formula is now absent in your marriage, Sammie. Maybe the situation will right itself in time. One can only hope.
Clara
10-05-2014, 03:42
Emotion creates motion and the cry for love is what we are drawn to. Pm does taking away your sex drive . But it gives you much more insight in really getting in touch with your emotions. All that tightness from your male side just disappear its a very liberated feeling that is hard to describe .
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