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A little help?

#21

(19-01-2014, 01:52)Missed Miss Wrote:  
(19-01-2014, 01:36)myboobs Wrote:  I am glad she packed and left . Hope she will be able to sort herself with help from family and friends .
India is a land of massive contrast . There is extreme poverty and extreme Wealth . What we consider bare min there it is comfortable .
My dealings are in mumbai / pune / porbandar . Sold my 4 bed modern buglow in pune. As I never used it . Got property in porbandar. And going into property there .
Have house in cummings GA , handing back to bank as I been turned over by too many tenants Sad
I defo wana go to CA Smile my bro n leice are there .
Will see if can catch up with feW from here when I fly over Smile
I love mexican @ don pablo n their margarita Smile

Part of the problem is, she doesn't HAVE any family or friends. :-(
I've never been farther east than Hershey, Pa., unless Clearwater, Fla. or Baltimore, Md. are farther east of Hershey. Never been farther west than Chicago.

I got 2 nephews and 1 neice in PA Wink so you never know Smile gawd I remebered !! If I come to US and don't visit lady friend in FL she will be upset Sad
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#22

(19-01-2014, 01:11)Missed Miss Wrote:  I'm SURE glad I'M not one of those creeps!!!!
Yes, I'd say I'm very romantic. I tend to put emotional value to music, movies and other things that I could do so with that mean something to me via a relationship and I DO shed a few tears at certain movies or songs. I value my friendships and relationships pretty highly. Maybe be cause I have/had so few to begin with.
I seriously doubt I'd change for a woman, maybe a tiny bit, but not much. And I CERTAINLY wouldn't force her to change for me, either!! I'll suggest a few things or maybe tell her what I'd prefer of her, but I don't expect her to change for me just because I suggested she do.
It'd be nice if your friend COULD help!! Thanks for thinking of it!! :-) She just wrote me today saying she's packed up and left him!! :-)))))

Ohhhh, I am like puddy in the hands of a romantic man! Blush You would think most women fall for that sort of thing, but...? You sound like a gem to me.

I value my friendships as well. I am very grateful for all of the good people in my life. I don't believe it's healthy to change anyone-- I would rather focus on cultivating their virtues. I think a good relationship is one in which you bring out the best in your friend or partner.

Yes, I am glad your friend is leaving that monster! Your support has undoubtedly helped.
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#23

(19-01-2014, 18:28)roseblossom Wrote:  
(19-01-2014, 01:11)Missed Miss Wrote:  I'm SURE glad I'M not one of those creeps!!!!
Yes, I'd say I'm very romantic. I tend to put emotional value to music, movies and other things that I could do so with that mean something to me via a relationship and I DO shed a few tears at certain movies or songs. I value my friendships and relationships pretty highly. Maybe be cause I have/had so few to begin with.
I seriously doubt I'd change for a woman, maybe a tiny bit, but not much. And I CERTAINLY wouldn't force her to change for me, either!! I'll suggest a few things or maybe tell her what I'd prefer of her, but I don't expect her to change for me just because I suggested she do.
It'd be nice if your friend COULD help!! Thanks for thinking of it!! :-) She just wrote me today saying she's packed up and left him!! :-)))))

Ohhhh, I am like puddy in the hands of a romantic man! Blush You would think most women fall for that sort of thing, but...? You sound like a gem to me.

I value my friendships as well. I am very grateful for all of the good people in my life. I don't believe it's healthy to change anyone-- I would rather focus on cultivating their virtues. I think a good relationship is one in which you bring out the best in your friend or partner.

Yes, I am glad your friend is leaving that monster! Your support has undoubtedly helped.

Thank you, Rose!! That's REALLY nice to hear!! :-)
I AM still available!! ;-)
Take care!!
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#24

(18-01-2014, 15:20)roseblossom Wrote:  Unfortunately, a lot of these 'bad boys' will give false impressions to lure women in. They are emotionally manipulative. Some of the warmest and sweetest men can spontaneously transform into self-indulgent creeps overnight.

This is so true and so sad. There are definitely women who look for the bad guy. I have never understood that. Yet I've been roped in by some real doozies due to them being master manipulators/liars. And, don't forget emotional abuse, it's super easy to say if he hits me I'm leaving. Yet, neither of my worst relationships ever laid a finger on me. The scars they left are plenty deep without physical violence.
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#25

(21-01-2014, 23:21)Wishin Wrote:  
(18-01-2014, 15:20)roseblossom Wrote:  Unfortunately, a lot of these 'bad boys' will give false impressions to lure women in. They are emotionally manipulative. Some of the warmest and sweetest men can spontaneously transform into self-indulgent creeps overnight.

This is so true and so sad. There are definitely women who look for the bad guy. I have never understood that. Yet I've been roped in by some real doozies due to them being master manipulators/liars. And, don't forget emotional abuse, it's super easy to say if he hits me I'm leaving. Yet, neither of my worst relationships ever laid a finger on me. The scars they left are plenty deep without physical violence.

Sad Sorry to hear that; I hope you've been able full recover and move on. Luckily, I got out before I got in too deep-- although I have to admit, one of them cost me several years of my self esteem. The last guy, though... I put a stop to that before we even kissed or held hands.

My sister's husband has been physically abusive and yet she's still with him. He's even broken her bones and thrown her. (She hid it from us for a long time...) Thankfully, he hasn't touched her recently. Still, her self esteem has dropped to an all-time low: she's convinced herself she deserves to be treated poorly.

Men and women alike need to confront their demons before being in a relationship. I think there are conditions in which practicing sexual abstinence could be healthy, if only to take the time to examine one's self and one's expectations for a prospective partner. (Unfortunately, this practice is discouraged in our society, where sex has been commodified.)
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#26

(22-01-2014, 15:30)roseblossom Wrote:  Sad Sorry to hear that; I hope you've been able full recover and move on. Luckily, I got out before I got in too deep-- although I have to admit, one of them cost me several years of my self esteem. The last guy, though... I put a stop to that before we even kissed or held hands.

My sister's husband has been physically abusive and yet she's still with him. He's even broken her bones and thrown her. (She hid it from us for a long time...) Thankfully, he hasn't touched her recently. Still, her self esteem has dropped to an all-time low: she's convinced herself she deserves to be treated poorly.

Men and women alike need to confront their demons before being in a relationship. I think there are conditions in which practicing sexual abstinence could be healthy, if only to take the time to examine one's self and one's expectations for a prospective partner. (Unfortunately, this practice is discouraged in our society, where sex has been commodified.)

Your poor sister, that must have been awful for you to discover Sad I hope she is getting the help she needs, it's so common to begin feeling like you deserve it.

I'm still in recovery. Starting a new program tomorrow actually. I do agree we all need to take the time to heal. You are lucky you spotted the last one early. Some are easier to spot, others hide it so well it's scary!
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#27

(22-01-2014, 18:53)Wishin Wrote:  
(22-01-2014, 15:30)roseblossom Wrote:  Sad Sorry to hear that; I hope you've been able full recover and move on. Luckily, I got out before I got in too deep-- although I have to admit, one of them cost me several years of my self esteem. The last guy, though... I put a stop to that before we even kissed or held hands.

My sister's husband has been physically abusive and yet she's still with him. He's even broken her bones and thrown her. (She hid it from us for a long time...) Thankfully, he hasn't touched her recently. Still, her self esteem has dropped to an all-time low: she's convinced herself she deserves to be treated poorly.

Men and women alike need to confront their demons before being in a relationship. I think there are conditions in which practicing sexual abstinence could be healthy, if only to take the time to examine one's self and one's expectations for a prospective partner. (Unfortunately, this practice is discouraged in our society, where sex has been commodified.)

Your poor sister, that must have been awful for you to discover Sad I hope she is getting the help she needs, it's so common to begin feeling like you deserve it.

I'm still in recovery. Starting a new program tomorrow actually. I do agree we all need to take the time to heal. You are lucky you spotted the last one early. Some are easier to spot, others hide it so well it's scary!

Thanks, they are seeing a marriage counselor and he is trying to deal with his anger-- apparently he wants to make the marriage work, he just doesn't know how to deal with his own problems. But sometimes, enough is enough! I do not feel too hopeful about their future together, but that's because I know him too well...

Some definitely are easier to spot! I also think I've become better at spotting them (thankfully): these days it only takes a date or two. (I make it a point to stop dating a guy after he insults me... but it always baffles me when they act surprised or hurt when I reject them.)

Best wishes on your journey to full recovery. Smile
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