27-09-2012, 16:01
(This post was last modified: 27-09-2012, 16:01 by mochaccino.)
Is that cycling schedule different from what you were doing at the time that you weren't getting results from PM?
(01-08-2012, 19:48)Doll Wrote: Wish I could help more, but not only do I not use PC personally, but I also have no idea about the female cycle and what all these different phases are! I just remember seeing a chart where I believe estrogen dropped about halfway through, and then progesterone dropped about a week before "that time" of the month. >.<
(02-10-2012, 17:06)mochaccino Wrote: I've been a member of this board for only a few years, but I've been an on-again, off-again lurker on various NBE boards, since I was 19, which was 8 years ago. I firmly believe that, for the most part, the members of this board are amazingly honest, and are also some of the most helpful and caring people that I've found on any site. However, during those 9 years, I've seen quite a few people engage in ongoing deception and other bad behaviors, and I've also seen the community's attempts to self-police these people, with varying results.
Let me start by saying that there are not a lot of ways that you can get into serious trouble on a board like this one. I try not to bother myself with all the minor transgressions and pointless infighting that's inevitable on any internet forum. The more serious issues nearly always involve some kind of deception, and unless there's incontrovertible evidence, it can be really hard to bring this behavior to light, and most people who do suspect something don't want to risk exposing anybody without plenty of solid proof.
What's tricky is that with many seemingly deceptive people it never really becomes perfectly clear how much of their behavior is due to innocent self deception, and how much of it is driven by a conscious intention to deceive others, for whatever reason. I can understand feeling conflicted about whether or not it's right to point out this kind of deception. With others it's not quite so tricky, and the people who speak up are able to set out firm, incontrovertible evidence of intentional, extreme, and ongoing deception. For example, several people were proven to have taken pictures of other people from around the internet (usually porn models), and claimed them as their own. What's interesting is that a lot of these same people gave plenty of kind, helpful, and extremely well researched advice, and were generally very friendly. It's hard for me to imagine that everything that they did on this board was a charade, or had ill intentions behind it. I'm honestly still extremely confused about what motivated some of these people to engage in that kind of long term deception. More often than not, their intentions and motivations are not obvious even after the fact. In the end though, most of that is beside the point. This is not about my opinion of these people or their motivations.
What I'm really interested in is what the most active and influential members of the board intend to do about it in the future. That includes the moderator, Eve. I hope I can trust these people to do the right thing.
In the past, far too many times, I have seen the messenger shot, kicked, and drawn and quartered for attempting to point out deception and other bad behavior. More often than not, this has happened even when there is incontrovertible evidence of long term deceit, like the porn model pics I mentioned above. The more popular or admired the accused is, the more aggressive and unshakeable their apologists tend to be, no matter what kind of evidence is put forward. On top of that, there are usually lots of perfectly well intentioned, and reasonable people, who will attempt to squash any serious argument on the board, no matter how justified or necessary it is. It's those latter people who I'm appealing to, because the apologists are usually unreachable "true believers". I'm hoping that those people, who try so hard to avoid argument, will think about the amount of damage that might be done if deception is just allowed to run rampant. This is not about a grudge, or any one particular instance or person. The reason I bring this up, is because again, and again, and again I have seen this board fall into the pattern of shooting the messenger. It's as if we have no collective memory.
This is extremely discouraging to me, even more than realizing that people I chose to put my trust in have been lying to me and everyone else for long periods, which is something that has happened to me multiple times. For whatever it's worth, I'm making a plea to whomever will listen, that we not discourage people from pointing out deception and other bad behavior, as long as they do so within the boundaries of basic civility. In my opinion, they are within the boundaries of basic civility as long as they avoid any form of name calling, or attacks against the accused's character, and they give the accused plenty of opportunities to explain or correct themselves. Obviously, they should also have a reasonable amount of evidence. If you still chose to discourage people from speaking out, and actively punish them for it, even after they've met all these criteria, you should realize that you're unintentionally making it almost impossible for this board to self-police. The simple fact that the accused might be offended does not make it wrong to point out the bad behaviour, assuming it exists. Over the years, there have been several people who would have done far less damage to the members of this board if people had only been willing to speak out. I intend to make an effort to point out bad behavior in the future whenever I see fit. In the past, I've been guilty of taking the easy path and avoiding confrontation. I hope people understand that I say this with good intentions.
(02-10-2012, 18:21)NotSoBusty Wrote: RESPECT from me to you, Mochaccino!
(02-10-2012, 18:21)NotSoBusty Wrote:(02-10-2012, 17:06)mochaccino Wrote: I've been a member of this board for only a few years, but I've been an on-again, off-again lurker on various NBE boards, since I was 19, which was 8 years ago. I firmly believe that, for the most part, the members of this board are amazingly honest, and are also some of the most helpful and caring people that I've found on any site. However, during those 9 years, I've seen quite a few people engage in ongoing deception and other bad behaviors, and I've also seen the community's attempts to self-police these people, with varying results.
Let me start by saying that there are not a lot of ways that you can get into serious trouble on a board like this one. I try not to bother myself with all the minor transgressions and pointless infighting that's inevitable on any internet forum. The more serious issues nearly always involve some kind of deception, and unless there's incontrovertible evidence, it can be really hard to bring this behavior to light, and most people who do suspect something don't want to risk exposing anybody without plenty of solid proof.
What's tricky is that with many seemingly deceptive people it never really becomes perfectly clear how much of their behavior is due to innocent self deception, and how much of it is driven by a conscious intention to deceive others, for whatever reason. I can understand feeling conflicted about whether or not it's right to point out this kind of deception. With others it's not quite so tricky, and the people who speak up are able to set out firm, incontrovertible evidence of intentional, extreme, and ongoing deception. For example, several people were proven to have taken pictures of other people from around the internet (usually porn models), and claimed them as their own. What's interesting is that a lot of these same people gave plenty of kind, helpful, and extremely well researched advice, and were generally very friendly. It's hard for me to imagine that everything that they did on this board was a charade, or had ill intentions behind it. I'm honestly still extremely confused about what motivated some of these people to engage in that kind of long term deception. More often than not, their intentions and motivations are not obvious even after the fact. In the end though, most of that is beside the point. This is not about my opinion of these people or their motivations.
What I'm really interested in is what the most active and influential members of the board intend to do about it in the future. That includes the moderator, Eve. I hope I can trust these people to do the right thing.
In the past, far too many times, I have seen the messenger shot, kicked, and drawn and quartered for attempting to point out deception and other bad behavior. More often than not, this has happened even when there is incontrovertible evidence of long term deceit, like the porn model pics I mentioned above. The more popular or admired the accused is, the more aggressive and unshakeable their apologists tend to be, no matter what kind of evidence is put forward. On top of that, there are usually lots of perfectly well intentioned, and reasonable people, who will attempt to squash any serious argument on the board, no matter how justified or necessary it is. It's those latter people who I'm appealing to, because the apologists are usually unreachable "true believers". I'm hoping that those people, who try so hard to avoid argument, will think about the amount of damage that might be done if deception is just allowed to run rampant. This is not about a grudge, or any one particular instance or person. The reason I bring this up, is because again, and again, and again I have seen this board fall into the pattern of shooting the messenger. It's as if we have no collective memory.
This is extremely discouraging to me, even more than realizing that people I chose to put my trust in have been lying to me and everyone else for long periods, which is something that has happened to me multiple times. For whatever it's worth, I'm making a plea to whomever will listen, that we not discourage people from pointing out deception and other bad behavior, as long as they do so within the boundaries of basic civility. In my opinion, they are within the boundaries of basic civility as long as they avoid any form of name calling, or attacks against the accused's character, and they give the accused plenty of opportunities to explain or correct themselves. Obviously, they should also have a reasonable amount of evidence. If you still chose to discourage people from speaking out, and actively punish them for it, even after they've met all these criteria, you should realize that you're unintentionally making it almost impossible for this board to self-police. The simple fact that the accused might be offended does not make it wrong to point out the bad behaviour, assuming it exists. Over the years, there have been several people who would have done far less damage to the members of this board if people had only been willing to speak out. I intend to make an effort to point out bad behavior in the future whenever I see fit. In the past, I've been guilty of taking the easy path and avoiding confrontation. I hope people understand that I say this with good intentions.
RESPECT from me to you, Mochaccino!