(30-03-2014, 04:44)ELLACRAIG Wrote: Hi. Im back now.
First off WHAT AN INCREDIBLE WOMAN! she is!!!!
What she has beaten off its incredible! Shes invincible
Ok while I didn't experience what you have to the degree you have... question - do you drink???? (joking)
Im sure I would if I had as many scares as you have to be looking after her like you are. Well that's commendable and you will repaid for your sacrifices although I realise its no sacrifice when its family but you know what I mean..
My elderly mother who brought me up (grandmother) was the same, I spent a childhood of ambulances and hospital visits but in my case a lot of it was psychological for her. I too reached a stage that I feared to come home and find her NOT there.
I'd creep into her room at night as quiet as I could just checking she was still breathing (absolutely TERRIFIED of what would happen if I lost her).
But yes It came to an end a few years ago with a terrible stroke but she hung on for weeks when I was told she would pass overnight. I too was in a position like you of where I was told "how she was going to pass but by their hands". This has never left me, haunts me too.
BUTTTTT my g'mother was 93 by the time she passed and you're mum by goodness has a will to live and has beaten all the odds and a lot younger and stronger!
My only suggestion would be if and when she says these things you mentioned above I would explain to her lovingly how this makes you feel and that you carry these feelings ( I can sort of imagine what might be said hence my comments above). If I am off base then forgive me, just trying to offer anything that might help. And to let you know you have someone else out there who has experienced to a degree what you have.
Anyway soo great she is on the up and up, your positive encouragement as with your dad will keep her going! She probably longs to see you married with children much like mine did. Wanted to live to see the day she could hold my first born. These incentives are a testament to how stubborn and determined some people can be even when suffering terrible pain, the need to be around for their families
She is amazing. She's already beaten other serious things (she's well past the life expectancy for someone who's had congestive heart failure), but for her to not only survive this but to keep recovering is a testament to how much favor she has with God.
Believe it or not, none of us drink!
Reading that you would creep into your grandmother's room to check on her broke my heart! I know you must have missed out on a lot of sleep.
I've never done that, but I have been terrified of getting phone calls in the night while my mom was in the hospital. Phone calls in the middle of the night could only mean one thing...
Still, for your grandmother to live to be 93! That's amazing! And she survived for weeks after her stroke! What a powerful lady. I know you must have drawn so much strength from her.
Thank you for the advice. I'm afraid I'd make her feel worse, though. I try to make her focus on how far she's come and how she's still getting better. It's difficult to focus on those things, though, when one is in great pain.
I'm sure she does want to see me married, and my oldest brother as well, and wants to see her current grandchildren grow up. I hope that does keep her going. Plus she has a ministry at church, and my dad is convinced she's not done with it yet. She still has too much to live for to go any time soon! And now all the doctors and therapists are saying she's healthy and she's going to keep getting better, and in a few years she's going to feel so much better than she does now. She's going to be fine. It's just the pain and misery that we have to go through to get there that's hard.
Thanks for letting me vent, and sharing your own experience! We all go through tough things, but we get through it in the end.