[Cheryl1989]

Hi everyone, as many of you know i am male but im more female than male now and i am going all the way to transition to a female. Nessa suggested on another thread that i list some things on how men think to try and help as men and women are so different. So here goes, but this is just my view and opinion on mens thought and like anything everyone is different so not all men think this way lol.
I had always considerd myself as a normal man, ive had alot of girlfriends, and long term relationships and i was always a mans man, going drinking, playing and watching sport and so on, so hers a few things that men think about, and how they look at things.

1) Most men will find it very hard to show there true feelings, as they see it as a weakness, especially if you are out with friends or with other people.

2) If a man does not comment on your new shoes or clothes or hair its not because he doesent like them or that he has not noticed, its because he takes for granted that you look good and he will only comment if he doesent like something. And he might be blunt but he doesent mean it to hurt you, he just doesent realise it does.

3)When out together men can see you as abit of a possesion and not a person, but its just the macho image coming through, as he wants to say yes she is mine so keep your hands of lol its goes back to caveman days lol but worry if he carries a big wooden club to bang you on the head and take you to his cave lol.

4) Men dont like shopping, so unless you have too dont take a man lol unless your buying him something like new shoes or an xbox, then you might get away with it.

5) Men hate making decisions as they know if they say the wrong thing that will get an earfull or an argument so they will say i dont mind or its up to you, so just go with it and make the decision and if he really doesent like it he will say.

6) Men look at women all the time but it doesent mean they want to be with them and not you, so dont worry, i know as a woman i look at alot of men lol i cant help it and im sure you all do its just nature.

7) Men do have feelings but like i said earlier find it hard to show them, sometimes they get angry as thats the only feeling they can show, but a man should never lay a finger on you not matter what the excuse, and i mean never.

8) A man will love you just as much or even more than you love him he just will not show it in the same way, he may buy you things, he might take you out alot, everyone has a different way of showing it so dont worry if he doesent say he loves you asmuch or if hes not the cuddly type lol every woman likes a big cuddle lol.

9)Men in general will not like your friends, they will start by saying they are a laugh or they are fine but deep down he sees them as a threat and may try in a subtle way to stop you spending as much time with them, unless they are in a relationship then he will be fine as he will feel more comfortable with you spending time with someone who already has a partner, less chance of her leading you astray in his eyes.

10) Men do not realise what they say can hurt you, there hormones make them think with there second head sometimes lol so if he says look at the boobs on her or what a looker, dont completely flip, its like teretes, it just comes out before the brain processes it lol it doesent mean he wants to dump you and sleep with her lol just a harsh word and a punch to the arm will do the trick and then comment on the first fit bloke you see and see what response you get. If he gives you a look and a laugh its done the trick, if he gets the hump and it starts an argument then he has serious confidence issues in your relationship and doesent trust you fully.

11) If a man sleeps with his back towards you, it means nothing, he just wants a good night sleep and his own space, and you know by the time the morning is here he will be proding you with his morning glory lol.

12) Men like there own space and time to do things as i know women do aswell, so let him go out with the lads and get legless lol and never leyt a man stop you from going out and seeing your friends, the only reason he will do that is if he feels threatened and doesent trust you.

Ok there is 12 opinions i have about previous experience and how i thought and alot of men i know think, its not a guideline or anything like that its light hearted and by no means ment to cause offence or marriage breakups lol everyone is different so you man might not be like this. But hopefully there is something in here that might help you understand abit better and if you wnat to ask any question i will try my best to offer my opinion, and if anyone wants to add something then the more the merryer lol. Thanks everyone.
Hugs Cheryl xxxx

[Anastasia916]

I agree with these things and said similar things and my thoughts on how males think on this thread http://www.breastnexus.com/showthread.php?tid=5550

Ladies, males like a good chase, they don't like something that is "easy" so stop being up their butt, you might like it if they did that, but trust me they don't! Stop calling them so much, let them call you. I promise if you stopped obsessing over them and made it seem like you have "other interests" but not overdone where it seems you aren't interested anymore, they will be interested instantly and start "chasing" you as in showing you more attention, works everytime. Alot of the things done and said in the movie "The Ugly Truth" is true. And the truth may not be what you want to hear, but that's why it's ugly lol.

Great advice here Cheryl.

Also no relationship is perfect, period. Everyone has arguments and fights, it's just the way it is. I've been married 2 years and though me and my hubby have never fist fought lol we do have arguments, but the important thing is working through things and becoming stronger as a couple because of it. No relationship is like those romance novels or movies you are watching and reading! That's why I hate them, they are just too false, I like real life, not BS. I'm the same with horror films too, I don't go for the vampires and zombies (though hubby argues that could happen *rolls eyes*). I go more for the psychological thrillers, the movies that could actually happen. I'm not saying it's bad to fantasize, but realize your man is not going to sweep you off your feet like the man in that book. Just like males realize we are not going to take it in every orifice like the girls in the pornos then get on our knees with mouth open waiting for their cum on our face lol. It's okay to have that fantasy but don't expect your mate to be like that. I think people need to stop concentrating on the bad and focus on the good and stop letting their insecurities get to them.

[Cheryl1989]

I agree Anastasia that not any relationship is perfect, we all have are good and bad points and its just give and take, i know as a man i was not very romantic, but i loved my partners very much and maybe i should have shown it more, like i think most men should. Alot of people take there relationship and partner for granted, and that they will always be there but you need to work at it, both of you, this is comoing from someone with multiple breakups lol but i do wish i had done things different in the past. Hind sight is a great thing i suppose. But overall we all deserve happiness and it easy to see the bad things when we really should be looking at the good like you said Anastasia. I wish you all lots of happiness everyone.
Hugs Cheryl xxxx

[Black Hippie]

Great Post Cheryl, but I have some question lol . Most of my friends are guys and I still don't get them
QUESTION 1: Why do some guys have a problem with honesty? I once had a boyfriend who would NEVER admit to anything. He lied about his drug use and his feelings towards me ! I begged him to be honest with me and I promised him I wouldn't get mad, but he wouldn't admit to anything. So many guys were like that!! why?? D:
QUESTION 2: Why is it sooo hard to communicate with guys?? One of my ex boyfriends wouldnt talk to me about ANYTHING!!!. I asked him if he still like me and all he said was SURE!! Later he dumped me in a text b/c he couldn't admit to anything in person. Why???
QUESTION 3: How do guys look at their female friends?? My guys friends said I am a hermaphrodite to them What is that supposed to mean!!! ?
QUESTION 4: Do a lot of guys care if they make their gf cry? I had one bf who would just sit there and smoke his cigarette while I'm crying. :'( He called me a B*t*H.
QUESTION 5: Why do some guys make fun of girls , but wants to date them? This one girl wouldn't stop making fun of my dark skin and flat chest, but would stop asking me on dates and picking me up.

Sorry I'm asking all these questions. I'm just curious if its me or the guys I dated or became friends with. I just want to understand. I havent date in well over a year become some guys hurt me too much D:! Anyway!! lol sorry if I'm being annoying! Thanks *Huggles*

[Nessa]

ok firts of all, thank you so much cheryl for posting this thread, and now lets go to my guy problem.

I go to a very exclusive, and EXPENSIVE collegue here at my country, i mean the son of the president goes there, so yeah you can only imagine, the problem with my collegue being so expensive is that most of the guys there are rich little pricks, that think that pple that dont have theyre social status is shit, so its a big problem finding a decent guy.

But i have, i have found a decent guy, he is really nice, very laid back an a MUSICIAN, and we like the same kind of music, adn the same bands, he has even taken me backstage to some concerts, but the only thing that has me worry is that every time that my friend ``patty( she has dark skin, straigh and long black hair, shes tall and skinni, and has NATURAL big breasts)´´ appears he treats me like i dont even exist, and i dont really understand i mean, does he likes me, os does he likes her, and why the F is he leading me on, if he doesnt really likes me, is he using me to get closer to ``patty´´?

[Cheryl1989]

Hi both, ill try my best to help.

Hi Black Hippie, I dont think its a guy thing when it comes to honesty, some people are just not honest and feel they need to lie all the time, maybe they enjoy it or maybe they just cant face the truth or being truthfull with someone else. I think you just picked a bad one honey but not all men are like this so dont worry.

I dont want to upset you or anything but i must be honest, i think the reason that you couldent communicate with this guy is because he wasent right for you and he may not have been really into you that much, you might not have had much in commen. Sometimes we get attracted by looks and then realise we dont quite click if you know what i mean, this happens alot but its nothing to worry about. And guys like that always take the easy option of a txt msg, as they aint got the guts to your face or they dont want to see how upset it makes you incase they change there mind out of pity as that does happen. But when you find a good bloke you will talk for ages all the time to start with so dont worry honey.

Most men look at female friends in 2 ways. 1 is they see them as one of the boys, have a laugh with, ask questions about women they wouldent usually ask and genrally feel really comfortable with you, and a hermaphrodite is a man and woman, like a woman with a penis and male traits or a man with female traits so your friends see you as abit of both which is not a great way of putting it but it means a good thing from your point of view. And the 2nd is alot of males are actually quite attracted to female friends and it gives them a chance to become close without the risk of looking stupid but not all men just some.

Some men are just Bastards, and get of on upsetting there girlfriends or wifes, and they feel like it gives them control and that there in charge, then again some men do it and really regret it after and they are botherd but they try there hardest not to show they care, because there men and they should be in charge and there tough apparently lol. But most guys will care honey even if they dont show it at the time, they should make it up afterwards, but dont take to much of this if he makes you cry alot its time to give him the elbow hun.

And lastly, guys get nervous when they like someone so try humour to break the ice or as away of flirting, its just how some guys are, they might lack confidence and feel if they ask you out seriously and you say no that would hurt there feelings so if they do it as a joke its not like asking you straight out so if you say no they would just say im only joking anyway but they would still be gutted lol.
I hope this helps abit hun but remember everyones different so dont think all men are the same because they are not, just most of them lol. Good luck honey x

Hi Nessa, Does this guy know you like him in that way, what i mean is you have done things with him like concerts and stuff but does he know your interested because he might just see you as a friend im sorry to say and he might like your friend as in she is attractive to him. If this is the case tell him you like him and see what happens, be honest with him lifes to short to be unhappy hun, but on the other hand he might really like you and he might be testing to see what response he gets from you when he talks withyour friend, things like this are always complicated hun, if he knows you like him and he keeps blanking you when she is around then im sorry but i think he might actually like her but if he has no idea you like him that way then you have toi tell him, as he might really like you. I hope that makes sense hun if you want to tell me abit more ill try my best to help some more ok honey.
Hugs Cheryl xxxx

[Anastasia916]

Damn Hippie, it sounds like you were with some of my exes! I agree with everything Cheryl said, but also, you need to start putting your foot down, remember you do not have to be with someone, they do not complete you and it's okay to be picky! As Cheryl said if you are clicking with they guy you can spend hours and hours talking on the phone, time will fly when you are with him, and he will enjoy your company not act like you are a burden. I was like this when I first got with my hubby, hadn't been dating in a long time due to hurtful men, and we talked online as friends, then met in person and hung out, then we just clicked. It was literally love at first sight pretty much. And even after we talked and talked on the phone for hours at a time, I had to get an unlimited plan cause my phone bills were getting outrageous! lol and when we were together time flied, 2 days felt like 3 hours. Trust me you'll know when it's the right guy. If you go on a date with a guy and you don't click with him, just remember, you don't have to go on a second one! And also you need to love yourself and enjoy being with yourself before someone else can love you and enjoy your company. I think once you start working on your look like you been talking about, get your confidence in yourself, you will be fine.

[Black Hippie]

Thanks for the advice guys. I guess the guy were not into me, but why would the start a relationship they do not want? Is it a hurtful game to them??

[Nessa]

ohh i think he knows i like him that way, we made out once or twice, and sometimes i think he really likes me you know, hes always buyng me random thing, like i saw this and it reminded me of you, and hes really sweet, not corny sweet but he is sweet, and hes always making comments like if i had a girlfriend like you my live will be perfect, so we are at the stage, were im just waiting for him to formally ask me out, or to just ask me to be his girlfriend, but sometimes i think, hes just like taking what he can with me, you know, like im second best to my friend patty.

He just keeps sending me mixed signals, and its driving insane, its not like im in love with him, or that i even care for him, i just like him, and i think i could really care for him with time(i protect myself a lot with the falling in love issue).

[Cheryl1989]

Some guys do not not know what they want themselves hun, and he is probobly attracted to you, but it takes more than just attraction to have a relationship that works there is so many more things that need to be right, but dont worry or get down hun you will find an amazing bloke and you will just click and then you will have no doubts, and remember honey we are only giving our opinion and we dont know all the ins and outs that you do so what do you think about this guy your talking about, deep down do you think he likes you.
Hugs Cheryl xxxx