Beauty is in any color, size and shape, believe that. Never listen to assholes that tell you you are ugly cause of this or that, you can't please everyone and that is why we are all individuals. When I don't tan I become porcelain white lol I use to wear make up that was a shade called "transparent" yep lol it's that bad! And some people find that color of fair skin unattractive, and when I tan some tell me that is ugly and that white skin is better. It's all a matter of opinion, I think I look great in both and so does hubby so that's all that matters
Nyx, it is NEVER your fault that a male rapes you, don't EVER believe it's your fault. I don't give a damn if you stripped for him, started giving him a handjob or something and then chickened out of going all the way, there is no damn excuse for that shit and don't let ANYONE tell you different! Well if I included every single experience I'm not sure, but I was molested by a doctor at about 4/5 (I blocked most of it out and due to being hypnotized as a part of therapy alot of it is a blur) no one really knows what extent he did, but it was obvious he did not do what he was suppose to. So I have no clue if he actually stuck himself in me, only his fingers or what. But he was put in prison and was tortured and killed by inmates. As far as my first rapist, I was 14 and it was a guy I dated for 3 months. I didn't fight back and to this day I regret that, but I was in shock of what was happening. Then the date rape with the drug happened about 4 months after. Needless to say I became suicidal and became distant and didn't trust anyone. I would lash out at people if they looked at me wrong. It was a very dark time of my life, but I got through it. It may just take time, and I don't feel anti-depressants or other meds are needed, doctors think they are, but I feel they aren't. The best medicine is a shoulder to cry on, an understanding ear, etc. Therapy, the best medicine for emotional pain.
What most people don't realize is 8 out of 10 women encounter a forced sexual encounter at least once in their life. Every woman at least once in her lifetime will experience being sexually harassed, sad but true these are the statistics. I have seen them, I use to volunteer in shelters for battered and raped women and children. I have done public speeches at schools to warn young ladies and guys about the dangers of date rape, not to trust drinks, etc. The signs of a bad situation and how to get out of them. I've learned plenty of self defense methods and have implemented them.
I read an article once and if I can find it I will post it, a raped woman who was raped by a serial rapist made it her job to interview serial rapists in prison and make an article to warn women. Basically she spelled out exactly what you need to do to avoid any random encounters, what makes you a target, and what makes you vulnerable. I will say what I can remember, and add in a few of my own tips...
Firstly a serial rapists normally DO NOT carry ANY weapons other than a pair of scissors. This is because assault with a gun is considered to be attempted murder. They might put a fake gun to your head or their finger, but they typically do not carry a real gun. They would rather get the slap on a wrist (I think they should be castrated) for rape than to be put in prison for many many years for attempted murder. The scissors they carry are to cut your clothes off.
A rapist wants an "easy" victim, they want a fast and quick encounter, they want to hit it and quit it. If someone attacks you FIGHT!! FIGHT!! FIGHT!!! And scream!!! As loud as you can. They do not want to cause attention and be caught before they can get it. Look into taking self defense classes, I've taken a few.
If you go for a jog or run, always be on alert. These sleezebags look for women with their hair pulled up in a ponytail or bun, it's easy for them to grab and control you. Try a better way to wear your hair, maybe up in a ball cap. They look for women not paying attention, for example listening to their ipod. Women on their cellphones, etc. Technology is not your friend ladies.
Pepperspray is a good defense, spray it in their damn eyes and scream and run!
If you park your car in a parking garage or you work late hours and you go to the parking lot alone... be aware of your surroundings, one of the biggest places these guys hunt women are in these places. Be aware of people who may be sneaking up on you, following you nonchalantly, etc. If you notice this, say in a very loud voice "I see you, you don't scare me, I have a gun and pepperspray, and I will call the police" even if it's not an attacker, does it really matter? Your life is more important! Also notice the cars parked near your vehicle. One of the biggest things these guys do is stay in big vans, they will park normally on your driver side of the car and as soon as you go to get in your car, they grab you and rape you inside their van, push you out and take off. It's an easy thing for them to do. If you notice a big van on your driver's side, even if you don't notice someone in it, get in your vehicle on your passenger side, better safe then sorry.
These are a few of the things I can remember, if I think of more I will post it, I have alot of information in my brain on this subject, it's just remembering it all lol.
Now as far as the talent scout Nyx, ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS check the company to make sure he/she is legit. Human trafficking would have been a hell of alot worse than him just feeling you up. Alot of people fake being talent scouts, you HAVE to be careful. Some can be rapists, others even worse, worse than your worst nightmares. They can drug you, kidnap you and human traffick you, forcing you into prostitution and there will be nothing you can do, they normally drug their victims and sell them to men in other countries! Other times they will find out all your info, and use your family to make you do what they want, they will start hurting your family if you don't. Watch the movies "Human Trafficking" was a special on the Lifetime channel, and also "Taken" it was a big movie that was about a girl that went to Europe to vacate and she and her friend got kidnapped, it shows what happens. This shit is real, not fake, it happens all the time, I have talked to a couple survivors, but there are not many survivors.
Also referring to the talent scout, if they do shit like that, the talent scouts, photographers, agents, managers, etc. Grab them by the damn balls and bust em! They are not allowed to do that and that is COMPLETELY inappropriate and report their asses. Sorry I'm cursing just that crap pisses me off to no end.
I was "almost raped" once, another date situation. Was my 4th date with this guy, and I use to be a nudist before my son, and he told me he was as well, that he can be around it and not find it sexual. So he invited me to go skinny dipping at his place and just hang out. The skinny dipping went fine, then we went to his bedroom to watch a movie, we cuddled and watched, not once did he get an erection, so I trusted him. Then we started making out and he tried to stick it in, I pushed him away and said no. He said something like "there's no going back now" he forced me down on my back, putting my hands and arms under my back, my hands under my lower back/butt. He forced my legs up to my head (good thing I'm flexible and can put them behind my head anyway!). Well as he was forcing my legs I was thinking of my best means of attack and within seconds I planned. As he was dealing with my legs, I pulls my arms down, I knew trying to get them from behind my back would have been pointless. And I moved my hands to wear they were hanging below my butt. I relaxed and stopped fighting. He said "haha good I see you see it's no point in fighting, I will get what I want" I just got an evil ass grin. And as soon as he went to put it in, guess what buddy, your balls hang dumbass! I instantly was able to grab his balls, I grabbed squeezed and sunk my long nails (real nails but were very hard and long) into his balls, of course automatic reaction to the pain, he let go of me and went into the fetal position. I pulled my butt and legs through my arms, still holding his balls tight (again I was very flexible). I got up and said "yep looks like you won, you got exactly what you deserve" I kicked the shit out of him over and over, and realized I hurt his balls so bad they were bleeding, and he was in so much pain he was too weak to get up and fight me. So I took the opportunity to grab my clothes put them on, grabbed my other things and ran out the door. Then as I was walking I called a friend that lived near by for a ride home, told them what happened. And lol she said, good I hope the fucker bleeds to death. He was in the air force! Everyone told me he was a good guy, I guess not. I don't know what happened to him after that, really don't care.
), I've been raped once because I was too trusting. It's weird because I still can't come to terms with the fact that he raped me. I still feel like it's my fault that it happened, but it doesn't really bother me at all.
. A Mid night skin tone is considered extremely ugly where I'm from, but these women make it seem soo beautiful. 
