14-10-2014, 07:41
I am very upset, I just want to cry.. I feel hopeless and stupid :'(
I used to have a C/D cup (it fluctuated with my monthly cycle) in 2011 I randomly lost a ton of unexplained weight. I did nothing to cause these changes. I'm 5'8, normally 145ish. I went down to 120.. completely lost my chest..
I literally was almost pushing an A cup-- to be perfectly honest, I would actually prefer a natural A or B cup, small boobs are cute to me... but I am not that size, so when I lost weight it was like a balloon losing air. My chest was deflated and empty and smaller in size, but they did not look cute- they looked weird.. not to mention my aerolas match that of my old breast size..
I found out this year I have an polyp on my ovary and I am starting to think that is what messed around with my hormones & caused my weight loss. I think I am estrogen dominant. I think I have low progesterone.
I feel so fxxking lost, I dont know what to do anymore.. I have taken maca root which made me gain weight and I feel supplemented a lot of things I needed. I am back up to at least a C cup.
this is my natural size.
& below is me pushing an A cup at my lowest weight at 2013
so yeah, a lot of empty skin to fill.. what sucks the most is laying on my back, my bra is what make me look like I have a chest. My actual breast are sunken into my skin, and the excess skin makes it looks like I am like 75! (i'm 24..)
this is what I have managed to get myself back to--
this above picture is me very swollen from ovulation :/
but as you can see, my chest still doesnt fill up my bra
and don't be fooled by how they look in a bra, there is still excess skin and they flop everywhere unevenly because they are not firm at all, and they pretty much sag..
I have been doing so much research, I started to get really scared I have tubular breasts.. I dont know, I forgot how they used to look when they were full! I started panicking.. my body always has some fxxking problem.. I can't tell if they're tubular or not, or I just got used to them being empty and saggy and their shape changing.. I cant remember my firm chest like I had coming out of HS...
I am just so confused.. there are so many options.. this is why I cant stop crying..
For a while I thought I had an estrogen deficiency.. but because I swell up soo nicely (like a full cups worth) AFTER my ovulation, I think it has something to do with my progesterone..
I have been doing so much research on what could be wrong with me.. I have been having my BCP sitting on my desk for months but I am too scared to take it because my hormones are already crappy, i'm scared to make them worse..
so then I bought the stupid PM and now I am realizing I wasted my money on it.. I really wanted to try to take it-- but I know PM is only temporary growth.. I want something that will make them grow and stay. & I also JUST learned PM isnt good for ovarian cysts, and wont do anything for estrogen dominant women..
I do have an ovarian cyst, but idk if its because I have too much estrogen -__-
so then I found BO, which.. looks amazing.. but who the hell wants to return to puberty? I for sure's hell dont! I suffered horrible acne in my late teens, no way I want to return to that.. it was devastating.. its why I am scared to try my BCP.
I really want to change my breasts shape as well as size, so I found things on PC...
I am just so fxxking over whelmed.. like, wtf?? I wish my body could just be normal..
My thought process is like:
I am thinking of removing my cyst, maybe that can help my hormones? I am thinking to take BCP to balance them out, (my progesterone and my estrogen..) I think I shouldnt take anything too estrogen based because of my cyst, and I am thinking I am estrogen dominate, so who is to say PM will work for me? and again, I want permanent growth. OB! looks awesome, hate the side effects.. puberty? again? I can't. Then there is PC cream, which I actually really want-- but I don't know which one to buy...
I dont have the money to keep up regimens like this just to get my body back to the way its suppose to NORMALLY be! God, I would love to have BIGGER breast than I had! why can't I just work towards something I would LIKE to have, verses working on going back to how I was? that is what is frustrating me..
I had a total break down.. I am so confused.. I don't know what to do.. I should just get fat graphing or something..
(http://www.realself.com/Fat-transfer/reviews)
at the end of the day, NB looks really awesome.. people have been talking about swelling, permanent growth and changing the shape of the breast.. which I really want/need.
I am scared it wont work for me.. I am feeling so cynical.. ever since reading all this stuff on tubular breasts, I am worried I just will forever have something wrong with me and need serious measures to fix it.. I wish I never lost this crazy amount of weight for no reason.. I loved my body the way it was, even with my soft spots/tummy..
I want to fight to be better, not just to go back to the way I was....
I used to have a C/D cup (it fluctuated with my monthly cycle) in 2011 I randomly lost a ton of unexplained weight. I did nothing to cause these changes. I'm 5'8, normally 145ish. I went down to 120.. completely lost my chest..
I literally was almost pushing an A cup-- to be perfectly honest, I would actually prefer a natural A or B cup, small boobs are cute to me... but I am not that size, so when I lost weight it was like a balloon losing air. My chest was deflated and empty and smaller in size, but they did not look cute- they looked weird.. not to mention my aerolas match that of my old breast size..
I found out this year I have an polyp on my ovary and I am starting to think that is what messed around with my hormones & caused my weight loss. I think I am estrogen dominant. I think I have low progesterone.
I feel so fxxking lost, I dont know what to do anymore.. I have taken maca root which made me gain weight and I feel supplemented a lot of things I needed. I am back up to at least a C cup.
this is my natural size.
& below is me pushing an A cup at my lowest weight at 2013
so yeah, a lot of empty skin to fill.. what sucks the most is laying on my back, my bra is what make me look like I have a chest. My actual breast are sunken into my skin, and the excess skin makes it looks like I am like 75! (i'm 24..)
this is what I have managed to get myself back to--
this above picture is me very swollen from ovulation :/
but as you can see, my chest still doesnt fill up my bra
and don't be fooled by how they look in a bra, there is still excess skin and they flop everywhere unevenly because they are not firm at all, and they pretty much sag..
I have been doing so much research, I started to get really scared I have tubular breasts.. I dont know, I forgot how they used to look when they were full! I started panicking.. my body always has some fxxking problem.. I can't tell if they're tubular or not, or I just got used to them being empty and saggy and their shape changing.. I cant remember my firm chest like I had coming out of HS...
I am just so confused.. there are so many options.. this is why I cant stop crying..
For a while I thought I had an estrogen deficiency.. but because I swell up soo nicely (like a full cups worth) AFTER my ovulation, I think it has something to do with my progesterone..
I have been doing so much research on what could be wrong with me.. I have been having my BCP sitting on my desk for months but I am too scared to take it because my hormones are already crappy, i'm scared to make them worse..
so then I bought the stupid PM and now I am realizing I wasted my money on it.. I really wanted to try to take it-- but I know PM is only temporary growth.. I want something that will make them grow and stay. & I also JUST learned PM isnt good for ovarian cysts, and wont do anything for estrogen dominant women..
I do have an ovarian cyst, but idk if its because I have too much estrogen -__-
so then I found BO, which.. looks amazing.. but who the hell wants to return to puberty? I for sure's hell dont! I suffered horrible acne in my late teens, no way I want to return to that.. it was devastating.. its why I am scared to try my BCP.
I really want to change my breasts shape as well as size, so I found things on PC...
I am just so fxxking over whelmed.. like, wtf?? I wish my body could just be normal..
My thought process is like:
I am thinking of removing my cyst, maybe that can help my hormones? I am thinking to take BCP to balance them out, (my progesterone and my estrogen..) I think I shouldnt take anything too estrogen based because of my cyst, and I am thinking I am estrogen dominate, so who is to say PM will work for me? and again, I want permanent growth. OB! looks awesome, hate the side effects.. puberty? again? I can't. Then there is PC cream, which I actually really want-- but I don't know which one to buy...
I dont have the money to keep up regimens like this just to get my body back to the way its suppose to NORMALLY be! God, I would love to have BIGGER breast than I had! why can't I just work towards something I would LIKE to have, verses working on going back to how I was? that is what is frustrating me..
I had a total break down.. I am so confused.. I don't know what to do.. I should just get fat graphing or something..
(http://www.realself.com/Fat-transfer/reviews)
at the end of the day, NB looks really awesome.. people have been talking about swelling, permanent growth and changing the shape of the breast.. which I really want/need.
I am scared it wont work for me.. I am feeling so cynical.. ever since reading all this stuff on tubular breasts, I am worried I just will forever have something wrong with me and need serious measures to fix it.. I wish I never lost this crazy amount of weight for no reason.. I loved my body the way it was, even with my soft spots/tummy..
I want to fight to be better, not just to go back to the way I was....