[CalmlyAndrogynous]

Misandrist: a person who dislikes, despises, or is strongly prejudiced against men

What’s wrong with being a man?

I want to say “everything”. That would not be fair though. I have more male friends than female and they are all decent people. They have some attitudes that I don’t agree with, but you cannot agree with everyone on everything right.

To me, the terms man and woman imply much more than male and female. I think of men as being in some sort of club with shared standards of behaviour and philosophies.

Despite being a genetic male, it is not a club to which I can ever truly belong however. Too many of the core attitudes and behaviours are foreign to me, even repulsive in some cases.

Just as there is this club of men from which I do not belong and actively reject, it seems to me that there is also this club of women. While it is perhaps something I can aspire to, it is also something I feel I can never join.

I can’t shrink my frame. I can’t make my hands smaller. I can make some changes, but not truly enough. (I wish I knew at 15 what I know now before I had my final growth spurt. It would be a different story.)

All I can be is somewhat androgynous but I think that that is something worthwhile. In several quizzes, I have scored as 33% male, 67% female in attitude. Feminising my body is just bringing it in tune with my mind.

No matter where I end up, I will still cringe at work when I hear some of the guy stories about what they do to manipulate their wives in various ways. I really don’t understand why some women put up with what they do, with the level of disrespect. Maybe they just never see it.

Both my sisters have divorced and found new life partners in same sex relationships. I applaud their choices. (I had no influence in those choices whatsoever and found out about them after the fact.)

I have seen so much waste because male egos cannot be threatened and that errors cannot be admitted (granted the latter is not the sole province of the male).

When I read sci-fi stories in which the male of the species is under threat/die-ing out, I cannot feel that this is a bad thing. As time goes on, it is starting to feel more like a good thing.

(I have read that the Y chromosome is shrinking with each generation and at some point XY males will die out, but this is still millennia away at the earliest so it is not just sci-fi.)

[iaboy]

Calmly, have you sought professional help?? It sounds like maybe some guidance from people who have some experience in this area maybe needed.

I think for your own safety and security, not to mention mental happiness, you need to seek some knowledgeable help. It could lead to self mutilation if those are truly your thoughts and attitudes. without professional help.

You maybe correct in assuming the xy thing. But remember, in the Roman Glory days all people wore Toga's. I just think it's a cycle of life type of a thing. Or should I say Cycle of Civilization.

Before WW11, women who wore pants and had short hair was in many case's ostracized from "Polite" mainstream society. Now anything goes for women. If your sister's were Lesbians they shouldn't of used the excuse for "Bad Marriage" to come out of the closet. Just my opinion.

In any respects Welcome aboard.

[NKB255]

No matter where I end up, I will still cringe at work when I hear some of the guy stories about what they do to manipulate their wives in various ways. I really don’t understand why some women put up with what they do, with the level of disrespect. Maybe they just never see it.

It is awful to witness people disrespect each other like this, especially when it is occurring within a marriage. Unfortunately, too many people do this type of stuff to their spouses.

[CalmlyAndrogynous]

Calmly, have you sought professional help?? It sounds like maybe some guidance from people who have some experience in this area maybe needed.

I think for your own safety and security, not to mention mental happiness, you need to seek some knowledgeable help. It could lead to self mutilation if those are truly your thoughts and attitudes. without professional help.

I am having counselling. We have talked about a lot of things, my running away from being male more than running towards female. She is supportive of my androgenisation and is across cases of people on a similar journey.

My Dr is in the loop and I am going to see an Endo, so whatever I do, it will be well considered and responsible.

You maybe correct in assuming the xy thing. But remember, in the Roman Glory days all people wore Toga's. I just think it's a cycle of life type of a thing. Or should I say Cycle of Civilization.

Before WW11, women who wore pants and had short hair was in many case's ostracized from "Polite" mainstream society. Now anything goes for women. If your sister's were Lesbians they shouldn't of used the excuse for "Bad Marriage" to come out of the closet. Just my opinion.

In any respects Welcome aboard.

My sisters grew up in an era when being gay was not on the table. There was so much pressure on them to conform. They conformed. They discovered who they were later in life.

Religion and other male dominated power structures try to make people conform. Sorry, I am starting to rant here.

[CalmlyAndrogynous]

No matter where I end up, I will still cringe at work when I hear some of the guy stories about what they do to manipulate their wives in various ways. I really don’t understand why some women put up with what they do, with the level of disrespect. Maybe they just never see it.

It is awful to witness people disrespect each other like this, especially when it is occurring within a marriage. Unfortunately, too many people do this type of stuff to their spouses.

My wife and I don't see eye to eye on everything and we don't always tell each other everything, but we don't set out to deceive and manipulate each other.

The more stereotypical the guy, the more I see the behaviour.

[iaboy]

It's hard even in good times to hold things on an even keel. So I hope you find what you may be looking for. Who knows, maybe it's right there in front of you. You know, the old saying, cant see the tree because the forest is in the way.

[hannah]

I will still cringe at work when I hear some of the guy stories about what they do to manipulate their wives in various ways.

Are men seriously doing that kind off things on purpose? You mean that lots off men want to be dominate their wives? Because mines is just driving me crazy lately, he is hurting my feelings with behaviour you describe. And i alway wonder WHY? Why does he want to be the boss in everything why cant he agree in what I think, is that to hurt me or what?
Sometimes I almostly get the feeling he is jealous at me? But then I think how could he? He should not compare himself with me he should love me, no more and nothing less..
I want to have insight in what men think..Anybody?
Why are men dominating women? And what do you mean by manipulating each other? Because I feel manipulated sometimes..

[iaboy]

Sometimes Hannah, men have a mean streak that rears it's ugly head when they are stressed or threatened, either physically or mentally.

Also, some men, like some women are just mean and have held it in check for whatever reason they finally have to show their true selves.

[CalmlyAndrogynous]

Why are men dominating women? And what do you mean by manipulating each other? Because I feel manipulated sometimes..
The case that I saw most recently was where a man wanted to spend a Saturday with his mates, but wife has been at home all week with toddler and newborn. The man had invented a way to make her feel bad and tell him to go despite her needing a break herself.

Why do men do it? I don't know. To me it just shows a lack of respect which I cannot comprehend.

I have a far from perfect marriage, but what some people do ...

On the jealousy side of things, it is not uncommon for a man to feel threatened if his wife earns more than he does. I don't understand that either, but some do.

Truly the average male ego is something I find hard to comprehend.

[Rayve]

It really isn't all that complicated as most people make it out to be. I can really only speak for myself and why I did it though. I repressed my female side for so long and since my own life was not sufficient it created a bitterness towards women. I looked for every flaw I could find to validate my own masculinity. As far as a manipulation it isn't really a men thing. Women do it too ... they just do it differently. Men manipulate to get sex where as women manipulate to get love even if they are not aware of it. At the end of the day people are playing for their teams.

It's just too broad of a brush to use on either gender.