how to handle stress?
October 5 2007 at 5:40 AM bonnette (Login bonnette)
hello everyone
i have been doing NBE for the last 1,5 months, the beginning was promising with lot of aches in the chest etc. few weeks ago though very stressful period started at work and there doesn't seem to be light in the end of the tunnel and the aches diminished. somehow i feel it stopped working.
i haven't told about my routine but it's simple. i started with pumpkinseed-oil, fennel/fenugreektea morning and evening and agnus castus. i make my teas real strong and take the ps-oil 3 x day. if somehone thinks the teas are not strong enough then i disagree cos when i had a break last month for two days tha aches got worse (meaning i was close to overdosing).
anyway i have become sad these last days cos i dont know what to do. i even started to think about implants. the promlem is also that i deal with lingerie now for work as a designer and it just breaks my heart if u know what i mean. my work is most stressful anyone could imagine but there's nothing i could do about. so i was thinking if there would be simple ways to release the srtess. also i was reading dowsing and Wenonae and was wondering if i should try dowsing again. i did it with my previous NBE programs and although they were promising according to pendulum it never worked. im afraid im too realistic or have this wishful thinking that intereferes with my dowsing results. Could comeone help me there?
just by accident i measured temprature these past days since i feel a bit ill and i got 35,8 as a result, is this normal?
sorry the message got quite long. but i wanted to add that i also make strong massages.
advise me please
Bonnette
bonnette
(Login bonnette)
Re: how to handle stress?
October 5 2007, 5:44 AM
sorry but i still have to add few things...
as for the pumpkin seed oil i feel it really worked for the androgens since my skin cleared up completely, was wonderful. until the stress begun and few spots emerged
(((
i would not want to quit NBE cos i honestly dont know if there would come better times.
Wenonae
(Login wenonae)
SENIOR MEMBER
Aah, thought I recognized you...
October 5 2007, 6:51 AM
Heya Bonnette-
Yeah, stress can impede progress. Perhaps doing simple meditation with deep breathing would help.
The whole BE journey thing coupled w/ dowsing...still is bumpy. So many details to cover. I mean I've learned a lot, but sometimes I feel I still don't know enough.
Your teas are definitely doing you good. Ever think about some lavender eo to help you relax. A few drops in a bath water can do wonders.
Wen'
sophie
(Login sophie9)
Re: how to handle stress?
October 5 2007, 8:46 AM
bonnette,
i'm really sorry to hear you've been going through this. unfortunately i have bad problems with anxiety and stress myself, and i also have noticed the things you are noticing with your program in terms of not feeling pains when the stress gets really bad. i actually have this book that i bought two years ago called "eating for beauty" by david wolfe. i heard him on one of my favorite radio programs talking about raw foods, so i went to his website, bought the book and some of the foods he was talking about. well, i just opened the book for the first time last week. i am reading it bit by bit, and it gives such great information about diet in general and how foods affect us emotionally, mentally, and physically and the hormone connection.
my stress has gotten so bad lately that i actually did not sleep more than one to two hours a night in two weeks time. things just added up and my body crashed. most times i would not sleep for 28 hours and on a third night have an hour or two. ugh! worst ever. he actually mentioned that pumpkin seeds help with insomnia, so i got some. i also made an appointment about three weeks ago and met with her tuesday. i am doing a saliva hormone test this weekend, but she explained to me how your hormones help each other out in times of stress, and i'm pretty sure my adrenals are just exhausted. no sleep because cortisol isn't working and dhea has done its job taking over the part. so i know i am talking a lot about myself, but i am getting to you and what is working for me and may work for you.
so she recommended i take fish oil...and a lot...like 3000 mg. of it. she recommmended nordic natural's brand, which i found at whole foods. she recommended taking these organic b vitamins - new chapter's coenzyme B-complex (recommended two, but you can take twice as much if you are being supervised. i am and i guess you aren't, but starting to take a god quality b-vitamin helps with stress). I have also tried to eat healthier, more regular meals. I finally was able to sleep 5 hours yesterday with a nap during the day and a whole 8 hours tonight! My insomnia was the result of anxiety i felt was out of my control, and it led to me being so stresed out that i just was sick and couldn't function. the fish oil is necessary because it contains good cholesterol, which supports all hormone function, which i suppose is why we are supposed to take it for nbe. She also recommended 20-30 minutes of any sort of exercise I enjoy everyday, and doing something for myself everyday - no matter how small. I like music, and she said, even if you have no time, just listen to one song a day and relax. Just in three days time, I feel significantly better. So, in sharing what she suggested I do, perhaps it can help you. Here are things I have either done in the past or recommend:
- Get some herbal tea for stress, relaxation or sleep. i have one with valerian, hops, st. john's wort, spearmint, and some other stuff, and it really does help. it can be used to relieve stress.
- try taking extra fish oil of high quality. the nordic naturals brand is very safe.
- try aking hot baths and doing extra grooming rituals for yourself. I like dry-brushing - it releases toxins and feels good.
- exercise combats anxiety.
- do something silly you enjoy. if you like dancing, but on some music and dance around. or whatever you like. or taking a drive if you like that. something that makes you realize your job and everything stressful about it isn't as important as yourself and your happiness.
- drink more water. for some reason it helps me. about 64oz a day.
- stretching and breathing. and being conscious of your breath - making sure your breathing isn't shallow. just try to be more aware of your breathing.
Okay...there is so much more. But I can't think right now! My brain is still trying to escape insomnia mode! But DON'T let working in a lingerie shop make you feel bad! I was measured at Victoria's Secret by this woman who said she was a A cup, and I looked at her and I would never have thought she was. When I go into Victoria's Secret now, they have these sexy mannequins in provocative poses, and they are A CUPS!!! Yes, they sexy mannequins are definately not more than an A cup! That actually made me feel better. Even the really popular lingerie models for Victoria's secret - it's all additional padding. It's all illusion, and they are normal and you are normal. Unless you are some cheesy lingerie model, you are probably a 34A or B. We are normal. I think being in a lingerie store would probably trigger insecurities for me too, but I still think we need to look at how many gorgeous, desirable women there are that are small and considered sexy - kate hudson, natalie portman, sienna miller, kate moss, etc. I had implants and I didn't like them. Mine looked pretty natural, but I knew they weren't natural and I never felt comfortable in my own skin. I'd rather put some padding over my skin than under it. I also had complications. Most women's look okay in clothes, but take their bra off, and they have a blowup doll quality to them.
Going to the naturopath made me realize I've probably had a hormone imbalance for a long time. When I get my results back, I will know what herbs will work best for me if I want to do nbe. She also said food is the main thing that keeps our hormones balanced. I am really happy I went because I now realize I was ignoring a problem for a long time, and now I am doing something about it. I already feel things improving. Stay away from sugar too right now. I crave sugar when I am stressed, but it just makes matters worse. I would recommend that book I am reading. I think it is great and is really giving me a lot of insight into why I feel anxious all the time. It's about inner and outer beauty and uniting the two. I wrote a lot - sorry! But I bet you look better than all those girls in that lingerie shop and you should feel proud of yourself. I have a tendency to think everyone is "bigger" than me, but then when they tell me their size, they are the same size as me. I think A cups look great, and a lot of people are A cups. I also recommend yoga or if you are spiritual at all, meditation or quiet time. I realized I got away from things that were grounding me. And so now I am working on getting back. If none of this is helpful, explain more or how you feel and maybe I can be helpful. Feel better and hang in there!
bonnette
(Login bonnette)
Re: how to handle stress?
October 5 2007, 9:39 PM
thank you Sophie and Wenonae,
i have a short city break right now (without being able to stay away from computer though) just to relax and stay away from work.
i totally agree with You Sophie that A cup is very nice but i would right now just give about anything to be there, i am an AAA category and in fact dont need a bra. So can u imagine you should create bras whereas knowing u could never have them yourself. so there i got this urge to really try make the herbs work for me.
When u were talking about your stress i so much can relate to it, these past weeks i have had to work until midnight and after that laying stiff on bed not able to sleep really just turning sides in bed. things had to be done deadlines etc. and every minute spent on myself was from my sleepingtime.i try to convince myself now that noone can make me exceed my limits if i dont agree myself.
as for the vitamins i do take strong B-vit combination for some time now. i will try the fish oil. i must say i eat a lot of fish actually, at leats 50g salmon a day, sort of my weakness which i can sense on my moneypocket already
i push myself into relaxing, the breathing is a good point, i realise i dont breathe deep enough. Actually Wenonae was the one that dowsed it as my problem with my last NBE try.
Good that You pointed out the pumpkin seed oil is for insomnia as well. before the stress kicked in i really did have good sound sleeps, not very much like me before. anyway i recommend it to everyone and it tastes so nice.
heading to bed now.
thank you and all the best
Bonnette
sophie
(Login sophie9)
Re: how to handle stress?
October 6 2007, 6:34 PM
I'm going out and getting some pumpkin seed oil today! I'm gonna bathe in the stuff! Just an update on the fish oil I mentioned in case someone didn't read what i wrote on the fish oil post - my skin is amazing, i am sleeping like 9 hours now, and i don't wake up worried and freaked out about my work! for two weeks i couldn't sleep and it was really, really becoming very serious. Going on my fifth day of fish oil and I can't believe the difference in such a short time. It is supposed to reduce the inflammation I am experiencing from stress (news to me I had any!) and help support all hormone functioning. I mean...I highly recommend it. It really is amazing. It must be doing something. Increasing the B-Complex vitamins has helped as well. What is weird is that I've noticed this makes a much larger difference than when I just take clonopine (the anti-anxiety drug I take). This natural approach is more effective and I just started! Also, is it not crazy that I have not had PMS since I started I started taking the pill 5 years ago and I just happen to have it now even though I am stll on birth control? This has not happened in five years!I just think there is something to this, and in such a short time...I'm amazed.
Bonette - I never bothered measuring before my surgery, but I never filled out an A cup before then. I didn't think in terms of AA of AAA because of that. It just bothered me I didn't fill out an A cup. Since you work at a lingerie store, I guess you know a lot about this stuff and can't avoid it. Since you work in lingerie, I'm sure you see women who buy the wrong size bra or want to be a certain size. I have a friend who would wear a 36B and she wasn't even an A cup. She STILL wore that bra though! I would say she was a AAA if I had to guess. She is incredibly attractive and has always had guys clamouring all over her. They never seemed to mind. She had told boyfriends she wanted implants, and they always said, don't do it. I can see how your job could be stressful. I don't know many women, big or small, who like going in lingerie stores. You menioned making bras, so are you in the lingerie industry for good? Just wondering. I could see my best friend, who is a DD and hates her breasts (literally and unreasonably hates them...cries to me about it) working in a lingerie store and going insane! My large breasted friends want to be B cups, and my small-breasted friends want to be the "perfect 34C."
Lisa121
(Login Lisa121)
EVE MEMBERS
Re: how to handle stress?
October 6 2007, 9:50 PM
Bonnette, I so feel with you, with everything you say. I have had so much stress for the last year, personal and professional that I really do feel with you and can relate.
Exercise is great in combating stress but I know that when you are stressed it is hard to keep up, and often we don't have the time. What i tried to do was using a stepper in front of the tv when I watched some series at night, just for half an hour at a good pace so that my heart rate increased. If you can do something like that, or optimally go walking or running.
What has really helped me now is using hypnosis at night, even though most of the stress in my life is gone now I still found it hard to relax. It totally chills me out to the max, I breath deaply and it relaxes me so I sleep well. I just use the Andrew Dobson file for BE, but any hypnosis really will help you relax, and there are plenty of free general ones or try versions on the net you can get. Otherwise, the money for one of those files really doesn't break the bank and for me using it has really helped me.
If you try the hypnosis, then try and put your thumb and middle or index finger together, obviously relaxed. This is a good technique as it helps your body to associate the relaxed state with that feeling, so with time it will become an automatic response, so when you put the fingers together when you feel anxious it should help chill you out and normalise your breathing.
As to your temperature, yes, it is perfectly normal. I tend to have a lower temperature than 36 as well. As 36 up to about 37 is considered normal it is perfectly fine to be a bit lower.
All the advice above is really good, the only other thing beside the vitamin B I can recommend is taking zinc. It helps your immune system while being under stress and keeps its defense mechanism up. Stress really is strenous on your body so it is good to keep your vitamin c and zinc intake up.
What always helps me to relax wonderfully is a nice hot bath with or without book or music. I always use lavendar bath milk from Weleda, it smells so nice and is really relaxing.
Just one last note, I know how you feel. I used to be basically flat with two nipples, and my progress has been hampered by stress and weight loss and it is pretty discouraging. Try and think positive though, get away from thinking you won't grow or you aren't growing. All these negative thoughts stop you from growing. Start thinking and believing that you are growing, and that you are filling a AA cup soon and that by lets say january you will fill that A cup. Start thinking "I am growing" and maybe even put postets over your rooms, they really do help, it is all in the mind, and even without taking herbs we should be able to grow if we just believe in it!
I stopped BE a while ago because I wanted to gain weight first, and since coming off BC I am trying to sort out my hormone imbalance with taking Agnus Castus and drinking spearmint tea. I am not sure if you can grow on the vitex alone, but even though I have put on weight it seems to be distributed better. Instead of all gowing to my thighs and butt like usual it is going more to my upper half of the body and my thighs aren't totally wobbly either, which is great news. I am still slim and still need to put on weight to get in the proper normal weight range but usually even now I would have hassle with my bottom half, at least it would be unproportional.
I am feeling my boobs are getting bigger with the hypnosis, and I just started doing the pressure point massage again too. It is pansyclubs I think, sorry, too lazy to check just now, but it really seemed to work when I used it on its own a while ago. I just press the points before I go to bed and I only done that two nights ago and since my boobs are tingly on and off since, and I am only on day 6 of my cycle. So maybe try the pressure point massage, and stop feeling so rotten about your small breasts, they are growing, it takes time but they ARE getting bigger!!!
Sorry for the long post, try and chill out, just do what relaxes you, listen to loud music you love, take a bath, watch something funny or something you enjoy, read a lovely book, go running or walking or whatever and just try and have a balanced chill out time away from work and away from negative thoughts about work and your boobs.
I can really recommend Andrew Dobsons BE hypnosis, it has really helped change my body image in a positive way. I still sometimes feel down about my small breasts (they still don't fill that bloody A cup, even though I think they would if I was at my former weight) but I feel a lot better because I KNOW they are growing and it is just a matter of time, and yes, my body is perfect, with (very) small breasts too! :-)
Take care and I hope you feel better soon, I know your boobs will get bigger, so chin up!!!
Lisa
Jen
(Login blitz1228)
Re: how to handle stress?
October 7 2007, 5:26 PM
I agree with Sophie. Do something you enjoy. Natural highs are so important. Whether it's singing, dancing, running, hiking, swimming, boxing, filming, writing or even just going to the spa and getting a massage, you must indulge!!
bonnette
(Login bonnette)
Re: how to handle stress?
October 7 2007, 8:49 PM
dear girls
thank you so much for the support. Lisa, u are so good in convincing i surely did started to believe i will grow
.
i will go buy the fish oil these days. as for the zink and b-vit. i'm taking them all. i suppose there isn't anything im not taking
)). today i bought gingko biloba since i heard it's good for blood circulation as i tend to be cold very often.
i will go check Pansyclubs massages as well.
i surely hope the stressful times wont last, in fact i heard there will be changes soon. i love design and lingerie design as well if i could somehow afford all the nice things myself. i feel like a diabetic in a sweets factory.
anyway i promise myself i wont take more work than i can do for any cost.
Lisa, i know i have probably asked you that before but did u have any growingpains? and how long it took before u were sure u are actually growing? with my previous programs i had finished by third month which may have been a bit too early maybe. but i do have pains less than in the beginning. i will try figure out if i was taking too much or too little the teas.
Thank you! Fingers crossed and i will let u know how things go breats- and stresswise.
Bonnette
Lisa121
(no login)
Re: how to handle stress?
October 7 2007, 9:13 PM
Hi Bonnette, I am glad i could convince you, as long as you truly believe it you will grow, I know that for a fact! I am practising so hard myself visualising my boobs being bigger that I sometimes look down and am surprised that they are still so small! :-)
As for the growing pains, anytime I really grow I get them pretty strong, but generally that only lasts for a few days. Like my nipples get so sore to touch that I hate just my pullover getting near them. When I get stabbing pains in my boobs that is a really good sign too, and tingles are quite good too as it is a a sign of skin stretching and that means they must be getting bigger.
On my programs I usually felt growing pains in the second month, sometimes already in the first, and they usually got less about the fourth and stopped about the fifth so that I would take breaks then.
I knew I was growing for sure from measure and most of all in my tops, that took about three months or so? I saw changes pretty quick because my boobs were so small that I noticed when I tried squishing them together that they got a bit farther in the middle :-). It never was a huge amount, usually centimeters or halfs and the bigger they get the harder I find telling if they grew or not. Even from pictures it is sometimes difficult, and the measuring tape isn't that great either. You will know when you have grown, the best way to test it is in a bra that kind of fits but is still lose, with us being so small these bikini tops that don't have any wiring are pretty good for testing, I just use a size 8 and with those I notice pretty well when there are less folds showing :-). Wow this is so sad :-).
Try and take it easy at your work as much as you can, and take specially appointed "relax" times at night, like an hour where you do something that you love and that chills you out.
Really, if you can get your hand on some kind of hypnosis file, use it at night to get you to sleep, they really work wonders in relaxing you and when you sleep well it will make your whole day better.
Take care and take it easy, you ARE growing, we both are steadily towards that A cup, I will get there this year!!!
Lisa
sophie
(Login sophie9)
Re: how to handle stress?
October 7 2007, 9:15 PM
jenn...you gave some really good suggestions! i have all this work i need to do, which i am completely procrastinating on, but at least when i procrastinated, i made sure it was something for myself. i played piano and guitar, and i recently gave myself a manicure and pedicure. i went out and got all the stuff for it. i think a lot of people who stress a lot tend to live too much inside their heads. i don't know if that sounds familiar to you, but it does to me! i end up realizing i'm neglecting myself and not allowing myself to enjoy pleasurable things. i made a nice meal for myself this afternoon and really made sure to enjoy it, and even that made a difference. i think i tend to neglect the whole mind/body connection, so i am stressed a lot. i'm sure a lot of people do the same. and i think having smaller breasts and having not been happy with my body for a very long time, i just tend to concentrate on other things. so taking a nice long bath or doing my nails, or going to get a massage reminds me that my body is really only here to help me get along in life and to make myself enjoy pleasurable things. when i went to croatia, i was embarrassed to go out to the sea in my bikini just with a girl i had met there. a GIRL! my instinct was that someone would scrutinize me as i do. but everyone there is so comfortable about their bodies and enjoying life - it was really eye-opening. it really helped me for a brief moment realize what life is supposed to be about. but then of course i came back to the U.S.A., and we all have so many issues here, you just get sucked back into them again! Ugh! I am trying to make a conscious effort to be mindful of my mind AND body though. it keeps me from feeling negatively about things i dislike about myself and helps me realize i'm in charge of things and i have the ability to make changes. this all natural stress method is seriously more effective than my medication. i'm seriously shocked. i'm even eating foods that are supposed to be known to be calming, and it's amazing how it works. even if it is all in my head, who care!? it's working!
bonnette
(Login bonnette)
Re: how to handle stress?
October 14 2007, 6:04 PM
Lisa
about the hurting nipples. i have it now but i'm not sure if it's beacuse of growing or just the massages. strange is although i massage the same everyday the pain is different sometimes.like today was chilly outside and u know the cold always gets to my nipples and it really hurt. im a bit confused now if it's the massages ( i dont touch nipples ever) or the herbs are working well.
my god this post is really wierd but i have no idea how else to describe it (blushing)
Bonnette
Lisa121
(no login)
Re: how to handle stress?
October 14 2007, 6:34 PM
Hi Bonnette, no need to be embarrassed, really not. I think I know what you mean.
I don't know, you would really have to listen to how your body usually reacts. Have you been massaging more than usual? And how long have you been massaging for anyway? If this is a recent change then my bet would be that it is the herbs that are really working now. My nipples, when they are tender with growing pains, usually hurt more when they get cold as well, so that is normal. When they would touch fabric from my tops then it could sometimes be really really sore, whereas when they weren't chilly it was still uncomforable but not so painful.
I think you are growing, you will probably notice in a few days or a weeks time if this is the case. I find it easier to tell by cupping my breasts and squeezing them together, then, when they get bigger I can really notice a change, even when by just looking at them it isn't so clear.
I hope this helps, and I think you are doing really well, so be encouraged!!!
