I hope you'll excuse me for making two threads today, I have a lot on my mind. I try to be rational and view things objectively, despite my self hatred and insecurities getting in the way.
Often times I feel like some women have all the luck, they were genetically blessed with natural large breasts and I was not.
And yet... I see those same women very often trying to HIDE their breasts. They say they hate them, they want a reduction, they don't like how it looks in clothes.
This baffles me and sometimes it makes me angry. I try not to become hateful about it, but how dare they get the one thing I want and then be so ungrateful about it? It really makes me curse my genetics and puberty, if I had larger breasts my confidence would surely be higher and I'd feel good about myself.
They don't understand my struggle, the struggle of feeling boyish and childish instead of a woman, feeling sexually invisible and unattractive. They don't realise how good they have it. I wonder sometimes if they really do hate it, or they're just trying to humblebrag, but I want to look at it objectively and with good will so I try to understand.
Even though I feel INCREDIBLY unlucky and I hate everything about my body, I actually get called lucky by most people I meet. When they find out about my fast metabolism, they say something like "You're so lucky! I wish I could be like you, I could eat anything I want" and it baffles me.
Thanks to my fast metabolism, I feel extremely unattractive. My body is not a curvy, womanly body. I have a rather childish, boyish, androgynous body. I hate my skinny chicken legs, the "hardness" of my body, my bony skeleton arms and wrists and obviously, my rather small chest area. I am constantly pushing to gain weight because I feel hideous, it's the one thing I'm trying most to change about myself and yet most people I meet will tell me I'm "lucky".
I wonder if I am to those people what they are to me. It's hard to look at it objectively, but maybe it's a case of "the grass is greener on the other side"?
Trying to be objective doesn't change the way that I hate myself and want to change but it does provide an interesting perspective.
If I could trade away my "luck" to a curvy big breasted girl who wants to be skinny and small, I'd do it in a heartbeat. It's a shame that the world doesn't work that way.
I think that the one and only plus that this provides to me for NBE at least is that since I'm trying to gain weight aswell as breast size, I can try to make some natural growth all over my body at once. I know that some users ONLY want to grow their breast size which I think would definitely make it harder, since growing fat on your body in one spot only is harder.
Personally I would be very happy as a chubby curvy girl with large breasts, it would make me feel feminine and womanly. I want to be soft, mostly in the breast area, but all over too.
Has anyone else ever thought about the topic of luck? Do you resent the lucky ones?