Hi guys! I'm an 18 year old cis female. After lurking around for about half a month I decided to join the breast nexus forums and today is day 16 of my NBE journey. Just reading over threads the first time I ended up here inspired me pretty damn good to take action and achieve my own boobie dreams C:
Here are some of my measurements:
Height: 149-150cm
Bust: 80cm pre NBE, I measured 77cm right before I began NBE but I could be using the tape wrong, 77,5cm after morning massage today (defeinitely just swelling because it keeps fluctuating between 77 and 79.5cm)
Underbust: 67cm
Bra size: 28D
Weight: 38.2kg today (I'm trying to gain weight again safely!)
A little bit about myself:
When I was little (about 9-13yrs old) I really thought I'd grow up to have big beautiful breasts. The women on both my maternal and paternal sides of my family have large boobs on average with only my mom's first cousin who (along with her own mother) has small breasts as well as a very thin physique. Everyone else has unmistakable boobage which filled me with hope for my own to grow but that never really happened. I suspect the reason for that is that I've been doing ballet since I was 5 years old, it wasn't a fancy super competitive school but class none the less. The teachers I was with for about 7 years (until I was 12 or 13) were very strict and always up in my and the other kids' eating habits (I remember one of the girls shared with me once that one of the teachers saw her at a restaurant and straight up told her to eat less). After them I've only had great people as teachers who always put my health first but I'm barely now beginning to eat a little more than I'm used to and closer to how much a girl my age should be eating.
Another factor I've only very recently recognised as a detriment to my growth is constant stress. I read somewhere on these threads here that cortisol inhibits growth. Hell I've been stressed for most of my life. Starting at 5 with ballet, then school with bullying and a toxic and abusive family have taken a bad toll on my mental state. Since I was 9 I've been in a super negative and unhealthy mindset and I'm sure I've been depressed for most of the time since that point. I've always been particularly sensitive and practically absorbed every negative thing anyone has ever told me like a sponge. During that period I've cried so much more than I've smiled that there's no room for comparison. That's also when all the other girls began developing with steadily while they were so happy and enjoying their life and now I deeply regret I never allowed myself to be happy and feel good about myself at that time at all. While I had breast buds like normal they never really grew until I was 13-14yrs old they began to grow some more but it was obvious that I was severely lacking compared to the rest of my peers. I think they stopped at about 80cm when I was 15-16yrs old and haven't budged since. Everyone had already developed and I feared that's what I'd be stuck with for the rest of my life. Years of bullying about it have made me absolutely miserable - almost all guys made fun of me collectively, laughed at me, called me diminutive nicknames like "child". They acted with me (and still do) as if I'm a 12 year old prepubescent boy while they flock and hit on all other girls my age with obvious breasts like moths to a flame. This has been going on since I was 9 and I've felt utterly hopeless and lost since I suffered a very stinging rejection. I've been suicidal for years now because of it (like HELL I'm straight and cis and that's STILL NOT ENOUGH?!!)
At many, really many points I've seriously considered plastic surgery so that I'll have a reason to keep living but since my family is poor and I don't even have higher education to get a well paid job I had concluded that there was no way out of the hell that I've felt my body to be for the rest of my life. I got obsessed with scientific research and unfiltered male opininions (exactly like that of guys my age) proving that nobody would ever choose to spend their life with a small chested woman. Literally everything points to the undeniable fact that big breasts make the difference between a good and bad life for a woman and I've felt that since god left me for dead in that department I don't even deserve to live. Actually when I read this post (where I also found the info that cortisol stunts growth, thank you so much fullerlook <3) I felt kinda personally triggered because it was like me and LastNightShade shared a brain because it was as if I'd written it myself almost word for word. That's the lowest point I've ever hit and that recognition made me realise how terribly I've spiraled down and self-sabotaged and that's the thread that kicked me into action to grow my breasts not for other's attention but for my own sake, because I know I belong in a big breasted body and that's what will make me happy in life. Here's the link to the thread: https://www.breastnexus.com/showthread.php?tid=31142
And to LastNightShade - you might be feeling like you're at the worst point of your life and I understand your anger, disappointment, sadness and evey tear you might've shed over it but never lose hope. I've been going through it too for so long and I'm still struggling everyday but hold on dear. There's always a way and there's always a chance to live your best ever life. All the comments on your thread have useful and practical advice that can lead you to your goal and I'll take away a lot of knowledge for myself too. I want to thank everyone who helped you out there - you guys are amazing! Sending much much love to you all! <3
Something else I suspect is also a culprit here is the fact that I have hirsutism and have had it since I was in kindergarted, puberty is when it exploded. I've done several hormone tests since then and everytime the doctor said the issue is only cosmetic and doesn't require any treatment (which devastated me because I've struggled with this my whole life too). I did my last test in February 2019 on the 4th day of my cycle (I bled for 5 days then) and only 4-androstenedione was higher than normal - 3.43 ng/ml while the average for women should be 0.10-3.30 ng/ml. I don't remember what the doctor said that meant but I'm sure she concluded with the usual "It doesn't require any treatment". I don't know how to interpret this and I'd love it if anyone could elaborate this info further for me. My cycle has also become irregular this year.
I'll continue posting all over the forums and also my own progress. I'm partially doing Katana's program (You're my inspiration queen!! <3) since I live on a budget and expect to for a long time so I need an inexpensive program and hers I find to be perfect for me! I'm doing Female Deer and Chi and also this Japanese massage in the shower before bed: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gyZfHHwChec
I combine these with 5 teaspoons of ground flaxseeds and flaxseed oil for every massage except in the shower (my boobs responded IMMEDIATELY when I first used it!!). I bought fennel seeds and raw fenugreek seeds but I haven't used them yet (both come with instructions to be made as tea, only fenugreek has instructions for topical treatment too).
Whew that turned out longer than I expected it would. Thank you for reading through that wall of text hehe. I'm really happy that the Breast nexus community is so supportive and helpful and I know I made one of the best decisions of my life to join. Sending you all tons of positive energy and let's grow together C:
" alt="
