[cinderella]

Hey guys!
Recently I've meet I guy I liked. I tought he liked me too.
But I have send him a message, and he replyed me very briefly.
Was my impression wrong, or what?

[Bibi]

Hi Cinderella
Your impression was probably right! The thing with guys is though (and this will sound terribly old fashioned but I´ve found it´s true) that they like to take the first step. If you don´t let them call or mail you first, they tend to think "what´s wrong with this girl that she has to go after a guy herself?" and they become suspicious because you come across as desperate.
Believe me, I wouldn´t think like that and I think it´s perfectly reasonable to send someone you like a message, but I´ve tested this theory and it really does work. When I don´t do anything about a guy I like he´ll be calling almost daily, but if I do send him a message first it´s like I´m not as interesting to him anymore. There is this thing of the chase that men like, especially in the beginning. And if you remain passive in the beginning it´s very flattering when someone makes an effort to get in touch with you or to see you, while it sucks when they´re not responsive when you do take an initiative with someone.
Of course it could be something else but that would be my interpretation of the situation.
Hope that clears things up some!

[Anastasia916]

From my experience Bibi, it's the opposite. When I am passive and don't show interest, the guys I like don't bother and I've talked to some way after and found they did like me but thought I wasn't interested!!! I think times have changed and not all guys want to chase. When I met my hubby I approached him!!!

[ccupgoal]

i agreed with guys, anastasias right, girls really passive now days.

[Taelia]

Yeah I'm going to have to agree too. This boy asked for my number and I gave it to him but I had to text him first before we got into any deep conversation
But I think some boys do still like the chase as long as you don't push them away to much

Much Love ♥

[Bibi]

Well, I wasn´t really thinking of not showing any interest at all, only of doing it more subtly. I mean you can show interest to a guy by flirting, smiling, looking him in the eyes, laughing hysterically when he makes some boring joke. You know!
I was just thinking that when you oficially show interest (it´s kinda more serious when you call or mail him) they feel there´s some pressure on them or something like that.
Some of my male friends tell me they get panicky when some girl is clearly after them, even if she´s gorgeous. Once I saw one of my best friends get all nervous when this beautiful thin blonde girl with big boobs, small waist asked him to dance with her on a party and began to ask him if he liked her, etc. She also tried to kiss him. He was avoiding her all night after that and it was really stupid because all guys were hot for her! (Oh and this friend isn´t some kind of nerd, he´s always succesful with women.)
But anyway, it may not work in every case. It´s just what I´ve observed.

[sweetpea]

Guys just don't like to talk a lot. It could be that he is still interested in you.

[cinderella]

He gave me his number, but he didn't do anything further on. I still don't know is he interested..

[fembeast83]

Guys have a funny kind of ego sometimes, they like it when they can have some effort in connecting without seeming imposible, but when she shows "too much interest" i believe the same kinda panic response occurs in men as does in women just a little deeper in the emotional psyche, since as men they try to repress emotion or at least their display of being affected, than it would for woman overly hit on though differences occur in the backstage connection to this panic as girls/women will think its to get in their pants or cause of big boobs or to later humilate/use where guys react by wondering is there something wrong with her that no one else wants, is she clingy needy and/or controlling would they be getting in over their head with the perceived relationship degree almost like the sudden over attraction causes a reversal of their ego (before it was large thinking they get women by persuasion then when one appears instantly head of heals with any effort or attempt to get that particular women interested, its like whats with her she don't know me yet and she wants me (they can also feel like it can't be real or a sudden temporary i don't deserve this) just as women feel similar to a man's overprompt display of attraction. Sometimes the differences we create are circumstantial and/or fictiously exaggerated. The male macho mask has made that basic discovery difficult, why the still dwindling around 50s iconoclastic role of the proper woman further creates artificial distance and difference to the mechanisms of attraction between the genders. Not to say we are quite the same but certainly more similar than society would make us believe which is only based on tradition set by some person who claims to have the absolute answers (this can work for religion as well but i'm not going to sail that boat here) HOPE THAT HELPS
my philosphy has mostly always been all things are relative since we are not gods we cannot know the absolutes only relative perspective which gets into the whole follower versus leader stuff. So i would say your impression/approach just needs minor tuning.
Let them know your interested but without smothering them or appear a lack of interest or mistaken prudishness. This is well enough approximated by swinging up like a fast moving friendship but giving ample space to find comfort for both of you since we don't constantly communicate are exact status at the moment like part of operating system would constantly talk with the part to keep it informed to prevent damaging miscommunication, etc. we are not machines so establishing perceptual feedback can be tricky its a little etheric in nature so fine tuning your instints are a must as is getting well in tune with the person your after. Good Luck

[fembeast83]

sorry to double post here i know its bad form and all but anyway i would educatedly speculate he likely very much is interested but a bit nervous about your response(perhaps thinking he has gone to forward for you(not necessarily in general but that you might be a bit more sensitive than some others so could be his way of starting out slow letting you warm up to him (playing along some degree will help his ego and perhaps bolster healthier respect for you not being too assertive nor too restrictive)(semi-subtly reciprocate some interest lest you want him think his move was too bold)