[Maz]

Hey everyone,

I was wondering how did you all meet your other halfs?

I am young so I don’t really know why I’m panicking at all but I can foresee myself being single for the rest of my life and although that’s aright for some, they want it that way, its not what I want. I really want to fall in love and get married and have a family. I’m sort of busy at the moment following a career and I’m worried that when I finally stop and look around I’m going to be alone.

My past experience has been if I like a guy they don’t like me and a guy that likes me I don’t see in that way. And I don’t pick up guys at every turn they come along once in a blue moon. I don’t go into a relationship expecting him to be the one so I’m not a raging nut job. Just right now I would like someone in my life but nothing is on the horizon and the way things are going I don’t see that changing.

[Isabelle]

Woww, that's almost 22 years ago!

I wanted a stable relationship. I read in the newspaper research showed that the most stable relationships had started (when people were asked after being together for years)
1) at work
2) while doing sports
3) in hobby clubs.

I got a job, but the people there were kind of boring. Having little spare time, I combined (2) and (3), and joined a gym. It was a bit of a freaky gym, because I wanted to meet people who were not like those at work.

I was always front left on the floor. The girl behind me to the right looked good. I couldn't help noticing because I always saw her in the mirror when watching the aerobics instructor. Yes, it's *that* long ago

Her place was being renovated, and I had plenty room for her to stay. One of her cats ran away, and I made color posters at the copy shop. We were married for 15 years and she gave me three wonderful children

[Maz]

Awww, Isabelle that’s lovely. It makes a lot of sense that those are the best way to meet someone. Even if nothing else you will get to know a great lot of new people and make new friends.

[Bibi]

Maz, don´t worry about it. This is probably the one thing you don´t have anything to do about, you´ll just meet someone whenever you´re not expecting it, in the most unexpected circumstances. My best friend met her husband in an airplane, he was from Europe and they had a long distance relationship for years before they got married about 15 years ago. Does that mean you have to hop on planes to meet some guy? No, of course not! It just happens, perhaps there is some kind of destiny? At least that´s how these things seem to work.

I met my first serious boyfriend during a concert, I noticed him staring at me and we just started talking and it clicked inmediately. He asked me out for the next day but I already had something else to do, but some days later we bumped into each other in an academy I went to for music lessons. It turned out we had both been going there for a year, so it was very likely we would have gotten to know each other sooner or later. Other boyfriends I´ve had I met through friends, like when I went to a birthday party or whatever, but it was always unexpected.

There is also this older lady I know (she´s in her 60s) who met her husband while standing in line at the post office. They started chatting, found out they were both widowed and fell in love.

It seems nowadays people get on the internet to meet their significant other, I´ve no experience with that but it seems to work for people who don´t have much time to socialize. My impression is that actively looking for a romantic relationship is a bit forced, like you can´t really make things function that way if it´s not meant to be, you know? It´s not like ordering something from a menu. But it might be a way to get to know new friends and not to feel isolated for example. The same goes for joining a club or pursuing a hobby, but it must be something you´re genuinely interested in, otherwise you´ll only get frustrated.

So just have a little faith, it´ll happen sooner or later!!

[twister_mama]

I met my husband online, on a Catholic singles website. We shared all the same values and had the same priorities. We also had lots of other stuff in common too, like our taste in music and our love of weather. He lived about 700 miles away, so for a few weeks we talked for hours on the phone every single evening. He flew up to "meet" me in person about a month after our first email communication, and we instantly knew it was destiny. He came up to visit me once a month over a weekend a few more times, and I flew down to see him once (that's when he proposed; which was three months after we first met in person). He got his job transferred up here and we were married exactly one year after he proposed. We've been married over 7 1/2 years now.

My youngest sister also met her husband on a Catholic singles website; he lived about 800 miles away. He got his job transferred and moved up here too. They've been married one and a half years now. My middle sister met her husband in college. He was staying in the same dorm building she was. They've been married almost eight years now.

[Maz]

hey all.

I realize these things just happen and I haven’t really pursued anything in the last few years (been single for almost 3) just to let things develop of their own accord but nothing has at all which is why I ask the question.

Chance encounters can be fruitful but that is what they are, chance encounters, and I was starting to think that love does not find you, you have to find it. Or at least be actively out in the big wide world for these meetings to happen, which at the moment I’m not. I have a very small friend circle, which I don’t stray from, and we go out to the same place all the time. There is nothing new and my life has become rather closed consisting of work, home and get together with the few friends I have. I really like the suggestion of going to groups and hobby clubs at the very least to meet new people.

I actually I happen to be Catholic too, its nice you found love that way and it sorts out a lot of problems right of the bat. however I do not have a strong enough faith/follow the church so passionately to ever go by such a rout. Faith sites are a good suggestion for people who are really religiously observant I think because you will both know the score. I had a friend at uni who became religious while she was there and observed a lot of the teachings to the letter. It made dating anyone outside of her faith difficult because they wouldn’t get basic things like even why she went to church. She eventually found a nice guy from here church groups and it was a whole lot easier.

[Isabelle]

I think it should be easy for you then. Well, sort of, not easy on your feet anyway: would you consider hiking the pilgrims' trail to Santiago de Compostela? I hear many young singles walk it now. All with a catholic upbringing, and feeling the need to think about their own position relative to faith.

Erm..., browse some holiday pics first: you may not like the type of guy at all, or there may be stiff competition

[Maz]

Hahaha, what are you suggesting Isabelle?

I think I may be told to leave the pilgrims trail if I ever got involved with such a project.

I have some serious problems with some of the teachings of the Catholic Church. I practice and have been brought up Catholic so describe myself as such but as I grew older I have found I disagree strongly with some of its teachings and stance on some topics and this will never change no matter what. I can see why its important for some people and finding a partner though one of these means and it would be helpful so as to stay faithful to those beliefs but its not the rout I would take to make new friends. Faith is not so important to me.

A general hiking group is a good idea though; I like walking, a lot. I walk to and from work everyday and it’s just shy of an hour in each direction and I don’t walk slowly, well I do in the evening. Its 45mins in the morning and I walk fast so as not to be late.

Did a google search, the cathedral is stunning I have to say. As a regular tourist yes that’s fine I would visit that. Probably not on a Pilgrimage.

[twister_mama]

My husband and I weren't actually really "devout" Catholics either when we met; didn't really go to Church regularly or anything; but we both felt very strongly about the core Catholic values. Plus, I was divorced and didn't have an annullment (was married in the Church before); yet that didn't matter to husband. The site we met on was basically for anyone who was Catholic, regardless of how often you really went to Church or not. This was 9 years ago, so I don't know if it's changed since then or not. I had like 15 different men writing me when my husband messaged me the first time. Now, the site my sister and her husband met on was a REALLY religious Catholic site. I remember her having to fill out like pages of essay-type questions about their favorite Saint, most profound religious experience, etc. The site my husband and I met on was nothing like that (CatholicSingles.com). It was a more laid-back site where everyone pretty much shared the same core values. Lots of wonderful men on that site; some were widowers with young kids; some were divorced; some were never married; all of them were really nice! All ages, too. I chose to give it a try because I had a very young child, and didn't really have any friends outside of family; and I'm not a bar or club kind of person. Incidentally, my husband's friend also met his wife on that site several years after we met. I didn't go into it with any expectations; I just hoped I'd find a friend, and maybe get some affirmation from a man that I AM an attractive and worthwhile person, after the horror my ex put me through.

Also, pilgrimages and retreats like Isabelle mentioned would be great too, since you're able to get away if you want to. It would be cool to find some kind of group that focuses on something you're interested in; like painting, or dancing, or pottery; or even something like karate. It makes you feel good about yourself; and you'll meet others who share the same interests as you. Even if you don't meet a potential new bf/future spouse, you could at the very least meet a new friend (who might have a single brother ).

[Maz]

Oh right, that sounds a lot better and a bit down to earth.

I would like to find someone but in a way I’m not in a rush just yet. I am holding dating sites away for the moment. My life is going to change soon so maybe things will change all together. Joining groups have been the best suggestion. New people are always exciting. And if I’m having a lot of fun I will even forget the fact I am alone.

(My attention span can be that fleeting sometimes. I don’t get board of people though please don’t misunderstand me, just meeting new people will take my mind off the fact I’m single)