[gasolinerainbow]

Oh dear, I spoke too soon.
It may have fitted in the shop but when I wore the bra for a day it quickly became clear that it was too big
I bought a new 34C that fits as perfectly as any bra can at the moment. My right breast is definitely too big for its cup but my left breast is very much a 34C. There's only a slight bulge on the right in this bra though which is better than the gaping in the 34D.

[gasolinerainbow]

Feeling VERY low today.
Accidentally came across some pictures of my bf and his ex.
Actually wishing I didn't exist right now.

And it crossed my mind,
What if, even if I change my body, I still don't feel happy afterwards?

That would be the worst thing in the world.

[Isabelle]

Aww, poor Gasoline Rainbow,

Ex's photos are always trouble. They should be out of sight in the rooms you use. And don't go looking for them.

I try to enjoy the process of NBE. You know, liking what I do and how I do it, and be happy with the results.

It will make you stronger, no matter what.

[gasolinerainbow]

Thank you (: I do hope so

I have my hospital appointment tomorrow so hopefully my BCP will be sorted out...

And I have money saved for my PM that will definitely not be frittered away on Ebay this time

I'd like to cycle with another herb but I've read so much into which herbs to use I feel like my head is going to explode! Which one?? Or two?? Or... Back to the boards, more head exploding, hehe.

Unfortunately, I seem to be going through a terrible episode of depression atm, not as bad as the one that got me into this situation... But close enough. I don't know whether to accept medication or not because it may interfere with NBE? I just don't know. I'd take St John's Wort but it interferes with my BCP

[beachbumbythesea]

Wow going to the hospital..you ok..

I use to be on Paxil for anxiety which they say is linked to depression but anyway I def. had extreme anxiety..but not taking Paxil any more I weened myself off it..hated the way it made me feel and I dont like meds ..but maca and help for myself personally but everyone is diff.. just getting my hormones in order has helped me too..

Wish you the best sweetie..I hope your ok..

[Isabelle]

Hi Gasolinerainbow,

If a doctor thinks you need medication, take it. I was on fluoxetine during my divorce. I stopped it too. But it got me through it.

Best of luck

[beachbumbythesea]

Hi Gasolinerainbow,

If a doctor thinks you need medication, take it. I was on fluoxetine during my divorce. I stopped it too. But it got me through it.

Best of luck

Goodmorning Isabelle and Gasolinerainbow,

Good point Isabelle. I would have to say the Paxil did help me get through my issues too then I felt I didnt need it anymore but after a few weeks after I weened myself off then started NBE and it has helped me alot..

[gasolinerainbow]

Doctor wants me to continue with my current pill for ANOTHER 6 MONTHS to see if my hormones settle down. In my opinion that's completely undermining the point of being on the pill in the first place if I'm just gonna bleed for another 6 months... Not happy.

I've ordered my PM pills and sprays - yay!

And I've lost half a stone in 3 weeks (none of it from my tummy!) de ja vu...? I haven't had time to make an appointment about going on medication for my depression ... and I'm dreading it to be honest.

[Isabelle]

Hi Gasolinerainbow,

Please make that appointment. Cut it up in small steps: think no further than the call first. Then putting it in your agenda. Then the first sentence you're going to say. And so on.

The first weeks on antidepressants the fears get worse, but after that, those pills will improve other areas of your life. Suddenly a doc who wants you to try a bcp for six months doesn't get to you any more.

Get sunlight, but don't try things like St. John's wort: that's more like xtc than like an antidepressant. PM will stabilise your mood already. Maca will too.

Happy growing. Sincerely.

[gasolinerainbow]

Okay. Going to Dr's tomorrow about depression. No more talking about that! Thanks for your constant advice Isabelle (and not just the advice you give me but the advice you offer everyone on here) you're a star! Same goes to you beachbumbythesea (:

I've been reading the Chiyomilk thread, I've been studying Waihaika's graph and much other information and at last I have formulated some kind of plan! I think Isabelle's graph on beachbumbythesea's programme page is THE BEST basis for supplement intake/interpretation of hormone levels during the menstrual cycle however I have to be conservative with the amount of supplements I use (lack of funding) and this is my adaption:

-------PM--B-UP (+ progesterone cream routine)
Day 1
Day 2
Day 3
Day 4
Day 5
Day 6 -2
Day 7 -2
Day 8 -2
Day 9 -3
Day 10 3
Day 11 3
Day 12 2 1
Day 13 2 1
Day 14 2 1
Day 15 2 1
Day 16 2 2
Day 17 2
Day 18 2
Day 19 2
Day 20 3
Day 21 3
Day 22 3
Day 23 3
Day 24 2
Day 25 1
Day 26 1
Day 27
Day 28

Oh yeah, if you hadn't guessed already, I'm going to invest in some B-UP drop (: and progesterone cream.
Ooo and those aren't minus symbols in the table, they're just to make the numbers go in the right(ish) place.

Now I'd like to use, well, something days 27-5 so I thought perhaps Fenugreek? It did nothing for me before but I think it's a good idea to have a weak phytoestrogen on the go while nothing else is being taken... If not simply to remind me I'm following a routine!

I also plan to take maca throughout my cycle and I am interested in taking a supplement that will increase the LH/FSH hormones on days 12-14 of my cycle. Any ideas anyone?

I shall massage and noogle every day (I've gotten a bit slack lately...)
I probably won't noogle everyday actually, it's just too time consuming. I'll definitely massage twice a day. 360 chi rotations

The real problem I have is my constant bleeding. I currently have no cycle to work with! I don't know whether to start my routine from day 1 and see if my cycle starts to work around my routine or if I should wait until the Dr says I can come off this bloomin' bcp I want to start now now noooow but I don't want to waste supplements by not using them effectively.[/u]