[spanishgirl]

Wow, reading about your boyfriend makes me so angry. I have quite a strange relationship with my boyfriend, so I'm quite used to defending our relationship and him. I understand that sometimes the way our relationship is, might seem odd and sexist to some, but I love it and him! So there's no problem...
But reading about your boyfriend...Gee, I really can't see a bright side to him. Ofc, we don't know everything, but judging from what you're written he's a real jerk. I would NEVER tolerate naked pics of other women on my boyfriend's walls. I think it's just sick to even consider having such things. Let alone, to get mad when your gf asks to take them away....

Well, I'm glad he did, and so on, but I doubt it means he's trying or has changed

I just hope you get a guy who respects you, caus you've got BIG and BEAUTIFUL breasts!? Indeed, if those aren't big, what is? I can see that with his ridiculous opinions, he has clearly clouded how you see yourself.


Good luck though! Sorry for my rant, I know I have no right to judge.

[Malina]

Wow, I have to back the other girls in this thread. But I guess I have trouble putting it as delicately as they have. Take your hot, amazing body elsewhere. The guy is emotionally abusive. I'm a bit older than you and I see all the signs. Firstly, your boobs are quite large, in fact I went back through your thread and they were quite large when you started, though you have definitely made a lot of head way. Secondly, you don't get to mix and match your partner. You either love them or you don't. You're not a toy with interchangeable parts. Wtf. It sounds like nothing he actually says is to make you feel good about yourself and every compliment you get is a backhanded one. What do you see as the future for you two? Do you see yourself marrying this kid? What will he do if you gain a little weight when you're pregnant, or your boobs shrink again? What you describe is not love, and what you're feeling is a constant need to measure up to someone who's always going to say you're not good enough. Because that keeps you insecure and malleable. I highly recommend you take a look at how PUAs work. The theory behind being a Pick Up Artist, the main point is to always keep the girl insecure.

[gasolinerainbow]

Where I live they seem to expect us to walk around with F cups and it's kinda nice to know I'm not going crazy - I thought they were starting to look quite big now too. Once again regretting not posting photos from when I began :/

My boyfriend and I pretty much broke up today. He told me the only thing he's looking forward to in our relationship is me moving to Belfast next year so he can get on with this his life. I've never felt so hurt, and all because we had arranged to go to an event together and he just went without me so I got upset about it! Of course I'm gonna get upset about it! He always refuses to go out with me when I ask him too he refused to meet any of my friends for a year, he never takes me to + 1 things. The exception being the ONE time I didn't invite him out with me (last week) he had a hissy fit and said of course he wanted to come! 'Struth!

But yeah, he hasn't officially ended it yet, so I guess I'm gonna. I may have been too patient and forgiving during the relationship but I really don't have time for maybe's and I don't know's.

The horrible thing is I did see myself marrying him and settling down not any time soon but in the future. I thought we'd resolve our differences and get to understand each other better but it seems like I'm the only one prepared to make the effort. I suppose the other day when he said 'if you're waiting for me to propose you, you're gonna be waiting forever' was a pretty clear sign :/ he said it's because he doesn't believe in marriage and it's a stupid bit of paper but I know that if he really loved and respected someone that would override his childish reasons for 'hating' marriage.

And I guess he's never going to really love or respect me

Sorry to vent. It's been a rough day.

[spanishgirl]

"He told me the only thing he's looking forward to in our relationship is me moving to Belfast next year so he can get on with this his life."


I think that's a pretty clear sign that this guy doesn't appreciate you and isn't worthy. I know it hurts now and I feel really bad for you! But trust me....Once you find someone better, you'll be soooo glad you broke up with him! Some day you'll be so much happier with someone else and wonder what you ever saw in that guy...

I know it hurts, I've been through an awful break up too. It wasn't until I met my current boyfriend when I realized what a normal, healthy relationship is like..! You'll see...

For now you should concentrate only on yourself. Do all the things that make you happy and things that you couldn't do when you were together! Some day you'll be happy and even more gorgeous, and with someone who earns you. Maybe he'll come to his senses then, but it'll be too late. It already is.

Strength to you!

[Rosance]

I must reply because I am pissed off. Screw the effin feelings you have for him. Can't you not see you are such a loving person? How many freaking women do you think would stand such an ahole?! Not many. Take your awesome uniqueness to someone who gives a dam about it; and those boobs too...haha Marry him after telling you that you'll be waiting a long time?! It sounds like you were proposing and he was rejecting you. Why be with someone who rejects you that badly? Trust me girl, and I know you know, you have a lot of love. One of the worst things about life is to seek for someone to love you when you do not know what love is; it is better to give than receive. He was just looking for someone give a dam about him, he does not know how to love. Getting with someone who does not know how to love, and is already an adult, I'm sorry, but it really is the worst thing a loving person can do. Because then this happens...suffering and pain. It does not mean it has to be like that. AS MUCH LOVE AS YOU HAD FOR HIM, YOU SHOULD HAVE MUCH MORE FOR YOURSELF. If you are capable of loving such an idiot, you can do more for yourself than you are doing. Stand up for your Self, for your love, for your health. This is your chance to be free of the pain he has caused all this time, do not cause pain to yourself now You are a wonderful person considering your ability to love, however, use that power wisely and don't let anyone take advantage of it including yourself. It is a beautiful feeling meant to cause beautiful actions.

[Malina]

It sounds from how you describe your situation that he very much has a hunter instinct. It's about winning the unwilling and not respecting those who give love and affection freely. I may be wrong, but tread lightly on this one. I suspect that once you break up with him and don't contact him for a while, he'll be back telling you how he's changed and wants another chance. He doesn't want you now because you want him. That's fucked up, but that's how some people roll. Be prepared to stand your ground if you really mean to do right by yourself. Don't give in, don't believe he's changed. People like that DO NOT change, but they do perfect the art of manipulation. The only way things will get better is if you rid yourself of him for good. Don't let him come back to you, after he's "Reconsidered" or "changed his mind" he would only be doing that because he will lose confidence that you will be there waiting for him forever. If you take him back, he'll be on good behavior for a little while and then things will only get worse. Be strong. You can do this. We all had one of those at some point, but everyone else to follow will make you much happier as long as you take the time to learn from this.

[Malina]

It's not that he doesn't love *you* specifically, it's that he doesn't know how to love. He only knows how to hunt and win. That will never ever change. And don't forget that. You may be more interesting object of a hunt at some point then you are now (i.e. unavailable) but he will never ever learn how to love you or probably anyone else for that matter.

[Rosance]

An adult who does not know how to love is screwd. It takes longer and it is much harder to learn to love once years have past by. If they honestly want to learn to love, it wont be so hard, but to be honest, I do not think this guy will change. If you know him really well, do you think he honestly wants to change? When someone really wants to change, it is not a bother or a drag; it is a journey filled with challenges that train one to become a better person. The only challenge I see on his "journey" is the ability to give a fk about the person who loves him

[spanishgirl]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XKOlwXDS4O8


Girl, you REALLY need to watch that! It might bring you to tears, but I hope it leaves you feeling better.

[Isabelle]

Hi Gasolinerainbow,

I wish you the strength you will need to get over this. I don't really know what else to write, after all you have been through.