[GoGoBoob]

It's been nearly 6mo since I stopped breastfeeding. I breastfed both of my beautiful girls for 1 year each. My oldest is 3yrs and youngest is 18mo. I have always been a 32A most of my life until I got pregnant. While breastfeeding I was able to achieve a 32B and is was wonderful. Sadly, it got flatter as I started to dry up. Currently I am a little bit bigger than before having children, but I have lost all firmness and perkiness. Just flat and saggy.
My husband and I have been married for 11yrs. It's amazing that we've been together for this long. He has a preference for girls with fuller body build and of course with bigger assets, if you know what I mean. I'm entirely the opposite. I'm really pettite. I'm only 4'9" tall, 89lb, slim and flat chested. 11yrs ago when we first were married, while foreplay, he was holding my breasts in his palms and said,"I wish these were bigger." It destroyed me. He said he was sorry many times, but I never got over it. I love him just the way his body is, I don't understand why he can't do the same for me?! Sure he says he loves me, but if he doesn't love the way my body looks and still yearn for other women, then "I love you" means nothing. I don't get it. Why stay with a woman you don't desire?
Just this past year, while I was 4mo postpartum, he had a crush on a model that he was shooting in a couple photography session. We usually are logged in Facebook all the time on the iPad and so I was able to read his messages. Anyways, in one message his friend they were talking about girls and he had said he likes that girl that had modeled for a car shoot. She was his type and he would do her in a heartbeat. I was so devastated. No wonder he kept talking about her to me. He was in love with her. I confronted him about and he said he was sorry and that it was just guy talk and nothing more. I know that is how he truly feels. I am not the woman of his desire and I know I could never be. Then why stay with me?
There's been many times that we've almost separated because he didn't want to be with me. The only thing that kept him coming back to me and staying with me was because he did not want to see me with another man! Now his excuse is, he wants us to be together for the girls and that it's embarrassing to be divorced after being married for so long and with kids. I know his decisions will change one day when he finds a younger and bustier girl. It doesn't mean anything anymore when he says, "I love you." To me they are empty promises. I stay with him, because I love him with all my heart, body and soul, otherwise I wouldn't have any children with him. I only wish he loves me for the way that I am and I wish I am the only woman he desires.
But no more. Its time to make some changes and it's not for him. I know I could never be his ideal woman. This new change and journey is for me alone. I have given my body to creating beautiful babies and had committed my body to them for 3years. Now, I just want to be and feel like a woman should be. Lately I've been studying this forum night and day and I have learned a lot. I really want to thank everyone for posting their experience and sharing their knowledge. I have considered NBE since my teen years, but never thought it would be possible. I have tried it once, but trashed the pills because I think I took too high a dose and had bad side effects. It really scared me so I tossed everything.
I am willing to give it another try and hopefully I too will be successfull like many of you. Currently I'm in the process of studying some individuals' program and ordering pills right now. I would love to have success like Chiyomilk, but I don't think I want to be that big. I must be realistic at the same time. It takes time and persistence, so I'll have to be patient. In the end I want to be healthy, beautiful and happy about who I am.

[GoGoBoob]

Yesterday, I just put in my order. I'm really excited. I had ordered Aintorel PM pill and powder, progesterone cream, L-Arginine, MSM, fenugreek seed, saw palmetto herb, goats rue powder, and collagen. My period started on Monday, so I'll have to wait a couple days to take PM. I'm not quite sure how I'm suppose to take them during my cycle exactly yet. More research I guess. It's okay. I want to postpone the program until I get Thermage done first. I don't think my body could handle that much at the same time. Not only that, although I'm really excited to start PM, I'm also really nervous. I've never induced any kind of drug for that long of a time period before, let alone vitamins pills. For now, I'll consume Multivitamin pills, collagen, MSM, Arginine and use some progesterone cream 2weeks at the end of my cycle. I want to start slow and slowly introduce my body to new supplements. I really don't want my body to freak out and crash like the last time.

I have been massaging my breast for a couple days with safflower oil and lotion and today they feel a bit different. It could just be from exercising last night.

[Babakins]

Hello! I hope you are well today, I just wanted to wish you luck with your boob journey. It looks like you have had some very difficult times, I am sorry to hear about them but now gaining self esteem is going to be wonderful for you!

The PM is best at the start of teh cycle most people here take it for about 10 - 13 days I think, then switch over to progesterone based herbs or cream in teh latter part of their cycle. I have startd my PM this month so it's too early to tell but it's all trial and error!

I would recommend buying a bust roller, they are great for massage and save the hands! Search the link on here and you will find the one. I paid something very low and it came from China in 4 weeks. It's a great tool I use it without thinking about it and it's effective. Immediately after the breast tissue feels floppy but later it feels firm.

Good luck and welcome!

[GoGoBoob]

Hello! I hope you are well today, I just wanted to wish you luck with your boob journey. It looks like you have had some very difficult times, I am sorry to hear about them but now gaining self esteem is going to be wonderful for you!

The PM is best at the start of teh cycle most people here take it for about 10 - 13 days I think, then switch over to progesterone based herbs or cream in teh latter part of their cycle. I have startd my PM this month so it's too early to tell but it's all trial and error!

I would recommend buying a bust roller, they are great for massage and save the hands! Search the link on here and you will find the one. I paid something very low and it came from China in 4 weeks. It's a great tool I use it without thinking about it and it's effective. Immediately after the breast tissue feels floppy but later it feels firm.

Good luck and welcome!

Thank you for your concerns and advice. I will definitely have to look into the bust roller. I hope it looks ambiguous to the husband. Lol...I don't think I could or want to discuss about NBE with him. Thanks for the tips on the pm, cream and herbs. That's what I've been reading. I should be getting my supplements next week

I tend to be harsh, hold on to grudges and sensitive so I may just made a big deal about something so small. Maybe I'm just too strict on him, on our relationship. Nothing falls out like a good romance novel right? That I should already know, yet I still want to hold on to make beliefs. Reality is he likes women with curves. He can keep looking, while I grow my own. Maybe one day he'll look my way, but I may not feel the same anymore. We're already so disconnected. We love each other, but I've stopped myself from falling in love with him. I don't want to get hurt again. If he ever leaves me, then at least I'm ready for it and it wouldn't be so hard.

For now, I just need to take better care of my body.

[GoGoBoob]

It's been nearly 6 months since I last breastfed, but I still have breastmilk. It will still squirt when I squeeze my breasts. I wonder if this will hinder NBE? When I was breastfeeding I was taking fenugreek and goats rue whenever I felt like my milk supply was low. It helped, but would it do the same now? What if I start NBE and I start to have more milk again? I'd probably get mastitis if I don't pump the milk out. Perhaps I should talk to a specialist before doing anything.

[lemoncurd]

hi,
I´ve been breastfeeding two children, too, and it really takes some time (a year) until they are finally dry again. Don´t tease your breasts too much. Just give them time to dry out.
Regarding the other problem (your hubby)... when I was younger I would have said that he´s supposed to love you just how you are but when becoming older I have had the great insight that all of us have things we like more or less. It´s nothing we do on purpose or to hurt people. It´s just there. It´s just not okay to rub it right under your nose (how we say over here). Anyhow, avoid to come down the needy road. Men hate that. Show confidence no matter how things look inside of you.
Good luck on the booby journey.

[Babakins]

The bust roller can look like a thigh massager as it is curved. So you could say it's for that or a stress reliever.

[GoGoBoob]

hi,
I´ve been breastfeeding two children, too, and it really takes some time (a year) until they are finally dry again. Don´t tease your breasts too much. Just give them time to dry out.
Regarding the other problem (your hubby)... when I was younger I would have said that he´s supposed to love you just how you are but when becoming older I have had the great insight that all of us have things we like more or less. It´s nothing we do on purpose or to hurt people. It´s just there. It´s just not okay to rub it right under your nose (how we say over here). Anyhow, avoid to come down the needy road. Men hate that. Show confidence no matter how things look inside of you.
Good luck on the booby journey.

Thanks for the advice. Yes, I think I will have to wait longer before starting NBE. It seems like I'm still lactating and now have more milk since I first started massaging my breasts. The Ainterol PM came yesterday and I didn't even open it. I also stopped massaging my breasts. I guess I'm just going to focus on getting healthy and in shape.

When I write about my personal life, they are my true feelings and wishful thinking. But these feelings are hardly shown to my spouse. I show more confidence than the little amount that I have left. When we first got married, I was clingy and needy. He pushed me away so many times that I just gave up. I decided if he wants to be with me, that'll be great. If he didn't, that'll be great too. At least we're both happy that's all that really matters. Sure, I'd be hurt, but life moves on and there will be other men out there. Now, I tell him that if he finds a woman he'd be happy with, then please just leave. I don't want to be married and unhappy or cheated on. Although my self esteem is low, I still have my pride.

[GoGoBoob]

My herbs came in today. I tucked them away. It's so upsetting that I can't start them now. The last thing to come is the progesterone cream. I invested nearly $100 on pills, herbs and creams just to have to wait. This lactation needs to stop. Hmm...maybe I could take fenugreek and saw palmetto to continue breastfeeding. I could donate my milk to my newborn neice and nephew. I was able to donate 3 boxes of breastmilk to my niece when I had a surplus when my sister wasn't able to breastfeed. I hate pumping though. It could be so time consuming. If I don't pump enough, it gets clogged and cheesy. Eww..Nevermind. It'll be great to have boobies again, but not worth the trouble. Sigh...6 more months? I hope it dries up fast. I really need to stop the hubby from squeezing the milk out. Everytime it gets emptied, it fills right up again. New restriction, he can tough, tease and fondle, but NO SQUEEZING.

[Louloute]

My husband and I have been married for 11yrs. It's amazing that we've been together for this long. He has a preference for girls with fuller body build and of course with bigger assets, if you know what I mean. I'm entirely the opposite. I'm really pettite. I'm only 4'9" tall, 89lb, slim and flat chested. 11yrs ago when we first were married, while foreplay, he was holding my breasts in his palms and said,"I wish these were bigger." It destroyed me. He said he was sorry many times, but I never got over it. I love him just the way his body is, I don't understand why he can't do the same for me?! Sure he says he loves me, but if he doesn't love the way my body looks and still yearn for other women, then "I love you" means nothing. I don't get it. Why stay with a woman you don't desire?
Just this past year, while I was 4mo postpartum, he had a crush on a model that he was shooting in a couple photography session. We usually are logged in Facebook all the time on the iPad and so I was able to read his messages. Anyways, in one message his friend they were talking about girls and he had said he likes that girl that had modeled for a car shoot. She was his type and he would do her in a heartbeat. I was so devastated. No wonder he kept talking about her to me. He was in love with her. I confronted him about and he said he was sorry and that it was just guy talk and nothing more. I know that is how he truly feels. I am not the woman of his desire and I know I could never be. Then why stay with me?
There's been many times that we've almost separated because he didn't want to be with me. The only thing that kept him coming back to me and staying with me was because he did not want to see me with another man! Now his excuse is, he wants us to be together for the girls and that it's embarrassing to be divorced after being married for so long and with kids. I know his decisions will change one day when he finds a younger and bustier girl. It doesn't mean anything anymore when he says, "I love you." To me they are empty promises. I stay with him, because I love him with all my heart, body and soul, otherwise I wouldn't have any children with him. I only wish he loves me for the way that I am and I wish I am the only woman he desires.

Hi Nkaujoua, glad you're staying positive. and i really dont mean to intrude but your husband sounds like a real piece of work. you wonder why he stays with you? I wonder why you stay with him any comments he makes about your body should be to make you feel good! and your boobs should be perfect to him whether or not he prefers big ones. They are YOUR boobs and he's lucky enough to even glance at them. And to talk about other women in that manner whilst married is unacceptable. if that was my BF i would've smacked him upside his face and kick his ass out the door

anyway, stay positive, be happy and do things for yourself. i hope you grow big beautiful boobs just to show him then leave his sorry ass. again, i hope im not intruding, but i wish you the best of luck!