[AbiDrew85]

So... I might just be getting a boyfriend soon...

I know! I can't believe it!

Anyways... He doesn't... At least, probably not... know about my past yet.

It wouldn't be as though I'm keeping it secret if I don't directly say anything, because he kinda found my Facebook profile through the suggestions feature through a friend of mine and added me, and then I turned around and asked her about him as is my policy any time a friend of one of my friends who I don't remember meeting myself tries adding me.

And I say a lot of things about my experiences being a trans woman on my Facebook.

But anyhoo... I asked her about him and she said he was "ok" or something like that. It wasn't really a raving recommendation but I was like, whatever, and added him. Like minutes later I get a text on my phone from a number I don't know saying "poke". Which I of course completely ignore.

Maybe a day later he then messages me on Facebook to text him some time and gives THAT EXACT PHONE NUMBER.

So now I'm kinda creeping out a bit and in the meantime I'm having an argument with one of my sisters and a FB-only friend about basically how I'm being too much of a conservative because of something I put on Facebook that's not entirely related but not totally unrelated but I didn't really get the relation at the time...

I'm also at a party of another friend at their house where I'm going to be spending the night...

Well, I unplug from both situations and put my head back in to the party and enjoy myself, then go to bed, then get up, and I put everything together and text him.

I tell him off gently for being creepy and he's all like sorry, but he's just kinda direct when he's attracted to someone, and he'll leave me alone... And I'm getting these like MASSIVE loneliness vibes from his message but no longer anything seriously creepy. So I'm like no, that's ok, just kinda new to all this and had some creep experiences lately making me even more cautious and I'm already super cautious! Anyone who knows me can tell you I'm like naturally pathologically neurotically almost paranoically cautious.

So anyways, we start texting back and forth a bit and before I know it he's all but practically asking me out on a date. I mean, seriously. The guy's asking what I like to do for fun.

At this point my phone is dying and rather than answer him right away I tell him later cuz my phone is dying and I'm at a friends and forgot my wall charger. All true statements though I later find my friends wall adapter for a USB charger plug and get plugged in then immediately text the friend this guy found me because of! I tell her everything that's transpired so far but kinda just leave it at that...

Now I'm both kinda excited but I'm also scared as hell. The guy seemed to have gone straight from profile pic to I want to talk to this girl and I'm not sure if he's even looked at my wall at all. He obviously looked at enough of my profile to get my phone number, but I don't actually mention my status there at all.

So I'm still stuck at the whole OMG! shock stage lol.

I still haven't texted him again and this all went down early this morning...

I know I look attractive in my FB profile pic, it's like my best photo ever... But if he's thinking I look like that all the time he's gonna be super disappointed because I don't even look quite like that even some of the time anymore. I don't have the wig that I was wearing in that picture anymore! lol.

I mean, I can still glam myself up pretty good when I want to but I don't hardly ever bother. If people can't accept me for who I am even when I'm sporting a beard shadow they can stuff it.

But this is like... different. I can't put this on my Facebook, cuz he might see it there!

Part of me is saying be right up front with him and tell him right now before things go any further so there can be absolutely no pain or confusion or hurt feelings later. Another part is saying seeeee him at least ooooooone time, then tell him.

Gaaaaaah! I sooo was not seeing this coming at this point in time. I suppose I should have and should have done something to prepare myself for the possibility of dating but... My focus has just been on anything but!

I guess advice is welcome but I mainly just needed to let this all out somewhere.

If any of it even makes coherent sense... lol.

[TibetanPrincess]

Well so far so good sounding

What I would do is text him to: THOROUGHLY read my wall and let me know how you fee about getting to know me.

Sometimes guys are ,well, stupid. They never read and always fantasize when they see what they like! Its quite possible he doesn't know and have missed the honesty on the wall.

But most likely, he knows and is fine with it. It may be too early to tell as if and when he'll casually bring it up.



None the less, exciting!

So... I might just be getting a boyfriend soon...

I know! I can't believe it!

Anyways... He doesn't... At least, probably not... know about my past yet.

It wouldn't be as though I'm keeping it secret if I don't directly say anything, because he kinda found my Facebook profile through the suggestions feature through a friend of mine and added me, and then I turned around and asked her about him as is my policy any time a friend of one of my friends who I don't remember meeting myself tries adding me.

And I say a lot of things about my experiences being a trans woman on my Facebook.

But anyhoo... I asked her about him and she said he was "ok" or something like that. It wasn't really a raving recommendation but I was like, whatever, and added him. Like minutes later I get a text on my phone from a number I don't know saying "poke". Which I of course completely ignore.

Maybe a day later he then messages me on Facebook to text him some time and gives THAT EXACT PHONE NUMBER.

So now I'm kinda creeping out a bit and in the meantime I'm having an argument with one of my sisters and a FB-only friend about basically how I'm being too much of a conservative because of something I put on Facebook that's not entirely related but not totally unrelated but I didn't really get the relation at the time...

I'm also at a party of another friend at their house where I'm going to be spending the night...

Well, I unplug from both situations and put my head back in to the party and enjoy myself, then go to bed, then get up, and I put everything together and text him.

I tell him off gently for being creepy and he's all like sorry, but he's just kinda direct when he's attracted to someone, and he'll leave me alone... And I'm getting these like MASSIVE loneliness vibes from his message but no longer anything seriously creepy. So I'm like no, that's ok, just kinda new to all this and had some creep experiences lately making me even more cautious and I'm already super cautious! Anyone who knows me can tell you I'm like naturally pathologically neurotically almost paranoically cautious.

So anyways, we start texting back and forth a bit and before I know it he's all but practically asking me out on a date. I mean, seriously. The guy's asking what I like to do for fun.

At this point my phone is dying and rather than answer him right away I tell him later cuz my phone is dying and I'm at a friends and forgot my wall charger. All true statements though I later find my friends wall adapter for a USB charger plug and get plugged in then immediately text the friend this guy found me because of! I tell her everything that's transpired so far but kinda just leave it at that...

Now I'm both kinda excited but I'm also scared as hell. The guy seemed to have gone straight from profile pic to I want to talk to this girl and I'm not sure if he's even looked at my wall at all. He obviously looked at enough of my profile to get my phone number, but I don't actually mention my status there at all.

So I'm still stuck at the whole OMG! shock stage lol.

I still haven't texted him again and this all went down early this morning...

I know I look attractive in my FB profile pic, it's like my best photo ever... But if he's thinking I look like that all the time he's gonna be super disappointed because I don't even look quite like that even some of the time anymore. I don't have the wig that I was wearing in that picture anymore! lol.

I mean, I can still glam myself up pretty good when I want to but I don't hardly ever bother. If people can't accept me for who I am even when I'm sporting a beard shadow they can stuff it.

But this is like... different. I can't put this on my Facebook, cuz he might see it there!

Part of me is saying be right up front with him and tell him right now before things go any further so there can be absolutely no pain or confusion or hurt feelings later. Another part is saying seeeee him at least ooooooone time, then tell him.

Gaaaaaah! I sooo was not seeing this coming at this point in time. I suppose I should have and should have done something to prepare myself for the possibility of dating but... My focus has just been on anything but!

I guess advice is welcome but I mainly just needed to let this all out somewhere.

If any of it even makes coherent sense... lol.

[TibetanPrincess]

Well so far so good sounding

What I would do is text him to THOROUGHLY read your wall and let me know how you fee about getting to know me.

Sometimes guys are ,well, stupid. They never read and always fantasize when they see what they like! Its quite possible he doesn't know and have missed the honesty on the wall.

But most likely, he knows and is fine with it. It may be too early to tell as if and when he'll casually bring it up.



None the less, exciting!

So... I might just be getting a boyfriend soon...

I know! I can't believe it!

Anyways... He doesn't... At least, probably not... know about my past yet.

It wouldn't be as though I'm keeping it secret if I don't directly say anything, because he kinda found my Facebook profile through the suggestions feature through a friend of mine and added me, and then I turned around and asked her about him as is my policy any time a friend of one of my friends who I don't remember meeting myself tries adding me.

And I say a lot of things about my experiences being a trans woman on my Facebook.

But anyhoo... I asked her about him and she said he was "ok" or something like that. It wasn't really a raving recommendation but I was like, whatever, and added him. Like minutes later I get a text on my phone from a number I don't know saying "poke". Which I of course completely ignore.

Maybe a day later he then messages me on Facebook to text him some time and gives THAT EXACT PHONE NUMBER.

So now I'm kinda creeping out a bit and in the meantime I'm having an argument with one of my sisters and a FB-only friend about basically how I'm being too much of a conservative because of something I put on Facebook that's not entirely related but not totally unrelated but I didn't really get the relation at the time...

I'm also at a party of another friend at their house where I'm going to be spending the night...

Well, I unplug from both situations and put my head back in to the party and enjoy myself, then go to bed, then get up, and I put everything together and text him.

I tell him off gently for being creepy and he's all like sorry, but he's just kinda direct when he's attracted to someone, and he'll leave me alone... And I'm getting these like MASSIVE loneliness vibes from his message but no longer anything seriously creepy. So I'm like no, that's ok, just kinda new to all this and had some creep experiences lately making me even more cautious and I'm already super cautious! Anyone who knows me can tell you I'm like naturally pathologically neurotically almost paranoically cautious.

So anyways, we start texting back and forth a bit and before I know it he's all but practically asking me out on a date. I mean, seriously. The guy's asking what I like to do for fun.

At this point my phone is dying and rather than answer him right away I tell him later cuz my phone is dying and I'm at a friends and forgot my wall charger. All true statements though I later find my friends wall adapter for a USB charger plug and get plugged in then immediately text the friend this guy found me because of! I tell her everything that's transpired so far but kinda just leave it at that...

Now I'm both kinda excited but I'm also scared as hell. The guy seemed to have gone straight from profile pic to I want to talk to this girl and I'm not sure if he's even looked at my wall at all. He obviously looked at enough of my profile to get my phone number, but I don't actually mention my status there at all.

So I'm still stuck at the whole OMG! shock stage lol.

I still haven't texted him again and this all went down early this morning...

I know I look attractive in my FB profile pic, it's like my best photo ever... But if he's thinking I look like that all the time he's gonna be super disappointed because I don't even look quite like that even some of the time anymore. I don't have the wig that I was wearing in that picture anymore! lol.

I mean, I can still glam myself up pretty good when I want to but I don't hardly ever bother. If people can't accept me for who I am even when I'm sporting a beard shadow they can stuff it.

But this is like... different. I can't put this on my Facebook, cuz he might see it there!

Part of me is saying be right up front with him and tell him right now before things go any further so there can be absolutely no pain or confusion or hurt feelings later. Another part is saying seeeee him at least ooooooone time, then tell him.

Gaaaaaah! I sooo was not seeing this coming at this point in time. I suppose I should have and should have done something to prepare myself for the possibility of dating but... My focus has just been on anything but!

I guess advice is welcome but I mainly just needed to let this all out somewhere.

If any of it even makes coherent sense... lol.

[AbiDrew85]

Well so far so good sounding

Is it? I really have like zero past relationships experience to draw on, from either perspective. I've always just completely totally been blase about the whole thing.

I've grudgingly made half-hearted attempts at asking girls out while trying to be a guy but only enough to get people who were pressuring me to back off.

And their "glowing" praise of my "effort" always just felt all kinds of wrong on so many levels.

What I would do is text him to THOROUGHLY read your wall and let me know how you fee about getting to know me.

Actually... That is really very good advice! I shall definitely consider it strongly as I continue to let this entire situation seep in to begin with!

Sometimes guys are ,well, stupid. They never read and always fantasize when they see what they like! Its quite possible he doesn't know and have missed the honesty on the wall.

Or listen! Yeah... It's possible... As I said before. Basically all my experience with guys says this is like 90% certain! And I was being a spy in their midst for over two decades! Part of what makes me so near paranoid cautious with guys is that I probably have a clearer understanding what they can be like than most other girls.

But most likely, he knows and is fine with it. It may be too early to tell as if and when he'll casually bring it up.

You really think so? Am I freaking about nothing?

None the less, exciting!

A lot more freaking me out right now!

[echapman]

So excited for you! Let's be honest, do any of us look like our profile pics? I doubt he even does!

I agree with the "maybe you should read my wall" thing. Maybe he already knows! Also go you for telling him he was being a little creepy by texting you like that off the bat. At least ask for someone's number first. Goodness.

If by some chance he didn't read your wall, at least maybe this will open your mind to the thought of dating maybe?

[timarie]

Wow, Abs! How exciting! I am going to support the ladies' opinion above about telling him to thoroughly read your wall first-- and, hopefully, he won't be so hung up in his attraction for you that he actually will use his brain to actually read and understand what you have on your wall. However, I've had horn balls in the past who I asked (before I knew they were horn balls, of course) to learn more about me in various given ways, and when they are the horny kind, they do a great job at pretending that they followed through with learning more about me, just to check it off the list, but actually never really did... so watch out for that! But, I'm sure you already know this, as you said:

As I said before. Basically all my experience with guys says this is like 90% certain! And I was being a spy in their midst for over two decades! Part of what makes me so near paranoid cautious with guys is that I probably have a clearer understanding what they can be like than most other girls.

What a blessing, in that way, it can be to be in your shoes! Half the battle to dating is just trying to understand the other sex. At least you have experienced first-hand what most men wouldn't dare to ever do or say in front of a women. A blessing for you to have the knowledge, for knowledge is power, but also a curse... which is why this experience, which should be exciting for you, is more making you shit your pants! Personally, I would prefer to have the blessing and the curse that comes with the knowledge, because then you won't waste your time on some silly do-does because you can see right through them. I would love to be in your shoes in that respect. For some reason I attract all the bad boys and they do a really good job at appearing like good guys who are serious about me. I try to be very understanding as men see love and relationships differently than women, but I have a small suspicion that this tendency to be understanding could make me easily a victim of being taken advantage of. I wish I could see through bull shit with certainty!

Keep us updated on how this progresses! Hopefully he is cool about your past... And, if not, it's just not meant to be and he is not good enough for you!

[AbiDrew85]

So excited for you! Let's be honest, do any of us look like our profile pics? I doubt he even does!

Haha! Yeah... People do have a tendency to use only their absolute best pictures for that, if it's even a picture of them at all and not just some identifying motif.

I agree with the "maybe you should read my wall" thing. Maybe he already knows!

Thats another vote for that solution...

Also go you for telling him he was being a little creepy by texting you like that off the bat. At least ask for someone's number first. Goodness.

I knowwwww. Like seriously. But nah... I actually do get it. Having been the lioness in the wolves den yeah... Guys do tend to turn off higher brain function at the sight of a pretty face. Boobs or a little thigh and even lower brain function goes and all that's left is mating instinct. It's kinda sad but was also a source of infinite mirth when I got to say told you so when they later regretted said loss of mental faculty!

If by some chance he didn't read your wall, at least maybe this will open your mind to the thought of dating maybe?

If nothing else it's definitely going to tell me off for not having prepared for it!

Wow, Abs! How exciting! I am going to support the ladies' opinion above about telling him to thoroughly read your wall first-- and, hopefully, he won't be so hung up in his attraction for you that he actually will use his brain to actually read and understand what you have on your wall.

And a vote three for three who responded so far. Sounds like this is what I'll be doing after my shower and breakfast in a little bit. The waiting already has to be killing him lol!

And yeah... Hopefully...

However, I've had horn balls in the past who I asked (before I knew they were horn balls, of course) to learn more about me in various given ways, and when they are the horny kind, they do a great job at pretending that they followed through with learning more about me, just to check it off the list, but actually never really did... so watch out for that! But, I'm sure you already know this, as you said:

As I said before. Basically all my experience with guys says this is like 90% certain! And I was being a spy in their midst for over two decades! Part of what makes me so near paranoid cautious with guys is that I probably have a clearer understanding what they can be like than most other girls.

What a blessing, in that way, it can be to be in your shoes! Half the battle to dating is just trying to understand the other sex. At least you have experienced first-hand what most men wouldn't dare to ever do or say in front of a women. A blessing for you to have the knowledge, for knowledge is power, but also a curse... which is why this experience, which should be exciting for you, is more making you shit your pants! Personally, I would prefer to have the blessing and the curse that comes with the knowledge, because then you won't waste your time on some silly do-does because you can see right through them. I would love to be in your shoes in that respect. For some reason I attract all the bad boys and they do a really good job at appearing like good guys who are serious about me. I try to be very understanding as men see love and relationships differently than women, but I have a small suspicion that this tendency to be understanding could make me easily a victim of being taken advantage of. I wish I could see through bull shit with certainty!

Wow. Hadn't really thought of it that way to be honest. Only ever thought of it all as just a curse. But you're probably right. I tend towards trying to be understanding and accepting too. But with my past being what my past is I'm also cautious to the point of near paranoia.

Keep us updated on how this progresses! Hopefully he is cool about your past... And, if not, it's just not meant to be and he is not good enough for you!

Will do! And thanks for all the support girls! God... This is all just so NEW to me.

And yeah. If he can't handle it that's his problem. I just need to make sure I'm miles away when that shoe drops if it does. I wouldn't be strong enough to defend myself if it turned physical and guys turn physical easily. Especially when they think of the person they're angry at as another guy. And let's face it. If he CAN'T face it, that's what he'll be thinking of me as.

[AbiDrew85]

Well, me being up front about it has shot this in the foot. Not that I'm completely surprised...

So it was more just a temporary romantic admirer. Still a definite wake up call. Ready or not apparently it's time for me to start seriously thinking about my romantic future.

He DOES seem to be interested in being literally just another friend though, so I suppose there's still a chance, but meh.

I still think being totally up front with it was the best way to go. I'd've hated myself for hiding it and being sneaky about it if I'd gone that way. Especially with how quickly he was open to the idea of just being friends... He's obviously not totally against it altogether and following the suggestions on a different site while well meaning would only have confused him or just made me even more attractive for my "openness" and "forward thinking".

The suggestions there would basically have had me lead him on for a little while but pushing towards LGBT openness. Going to places that are openly LGBT friendly for example.

[Karren H]

Awww.... That's a shame.... I wish I had been more open.... but its easier to ask forgiveness than permission.... not better.... easier...

[AbiDrew85]

Awww.... That's a shame.... I wish I had been more open.... but its easier to ask forgiveness than permission.... not better.... easier...

Perhaps for some... But despite having done a damned good job of keeping a secret for around two decades or more I really actually HATE being secretive.