[AbiDrew85]

So basically, the poll option here really isn't versatile enough for what I'm asking here, so please reply!

Question one: Do you identify male or female?

Question two: Were you raised male or female?

Question three: Do you still live with your parents or with an SO?

Question four: Regardless of any of the above, do you check in with your parents or an SO frequently to let them know where you are, that you got there safely, got back safely, are leaving some place to go back home, etc? Especially as related to large social gatherings and going from one town or city to another?

Question five: Did your parents TEACH you that behavior by checking in on you all the time while younger?

Thanks! I'll post my own answers in the first reply!

[AbiDrew85]

1: Female
2: Male
3: Parents
4: No. But suddenly they've begun expecting me to.
5: NO!

Which brings me to my whole point... I'm trying to establish that this is, indeed, as I believe it to be, a purely socialization thing. My sisters WERE indoctrinated into behaving that way. Me and my brothers? Nope.

Even among my sisters who WERE indoctrinated to do that, not all of them do!

And NEITHER of my brothers do!

[jamixoxo]

1. Sometimes
2. Male
3. SO
4. Yes
5. Not sure...

When I lived with my parents, which was into my mid to late 20's, we generally knew where each other were... But this was in the bad old days before cell phones, but after the invention of the serial killer. Most of my peers had similar arrangements with their parents... No curfew, rarely a set "time" to be home, but usually a general idea on when you would, or would not be around. Of course, after years of curfews and asking permission this was a breath of fresh air!
When I had roommates, we did the same - but there was no "checking in".
My wife and I check in all the time... As did my previous SO's.

Kinda sounds like confirmation of your theory! Sometimes I hate being the product of conditioning.

-j

[AbiDrew85]

When I lived with my parents, which was into my mid to late 20's, we generally knew where each other were... But this was in the bad old days before cell phones, but after the invention of the serial killer. Most of my peers had similar arrangements with their parents... No curfew, rarely a set "time" to be home, but usually a general idea on when you would, or would not be around. Of course, after years of curfews and asking permission this was a breath of fresh air!
When I had roommates, we did the same - but there was no "checking in".
My wife and I check in all the time... As did my previous SO's.

Kinda sounds like confirmation of your theory! Sometimes I hate being the product of conditioning.

-j

Yeah... That sounds a LOT like the arrangement I've ALWAYS had with my parents. They knew WHEN I was going to be out. They knew around about the time to expect me back. And that was all there was to it.

I'd been out to Uni for almost 2 years and RARELY even talked to them at all.

I lived out of the house for almost a year and only checked in once a week at MOST.

Now suddenly I need to start telling them EVERYTHING?!

If I was married or dating I MIGHT volunteer more about what I'm doing to my SO... but that'd just be because we're constantly texting back and forth anyways any chance either of us gets and just casually mention that kind of thing.

But as soon as I'm out of here next time, and next time will only be after I've got a solid foundation under me to do so, they'll be right back to rarely. Not even once a week. RARELY. If at all. More about that later.

I have never and I doubt I'll ever be one to check in CONSTANTLY. I just wasn't conditioned to it.

Though who knows... Maybe they'll win and successfully recondition me before I finally get free of them. Doubt it. They'd have to do some serious growing up before they have that much influence over me.

Don't get me wrong... I never much paid heed to my dad, I'll grant, but Mom used to be my quasi-God. She kinda ruined that when I started testing her on my coming out before actually coming out. And she's done NOTHING to earn back the least bit of credibility.

And if they DON'T start growing up and facing the fact of who I am they WILL lose me entirely. I don't have any use for fake people.

EDIT: And YES people, today was day 27 of my artificial cycle. It'll only get worse!

[timarie]

1. Female
2. Female
3. Neither
4. Nope! I stopped letting my parents know my whereabouts when I moved out, and stopped letting my SO know my whereabouts when we broke up.
5. Did they teach me the behavior to #4, or did they teach me the behavior to update them of my status all the time, regardless of my current behavior? If the former, no, if the latter, YES. My mother is currently trying to learn to detach

I am the oldest in my family and am the only girl, so my parents are very protective of me. I mean, it took a while for me to get to "this place." I am... pretty old for my mother to now be working on detaching! It also took couple long-stay abroad trips traveling by myself to get to "this place." Had my parents shitting their pants, yet I'd always come back in one piece...

[AbiDrew85]

LOL! Only three responders and already this one's been trashed for what it was!

I'd still love to hear more responses though! (Maybe at least one will hold up to what my mom thinks women ought to be like?) LOL!

And timarie! WOW!!! Sounds like your mom's a lot like mine. It's totally ridiculous.

And I hear ya about making your parents shit themselves!! If I ever get the chance to do that to mine I will!

Who knows, maybe some time with zero contact will make them grow up a little?

[timarie]

And timarie! WOW!!! Sounds like your mom's a lot like mine. It's totally ridiculous.

And I hear ya about making your parents shit themselves!! If I ever get the chance to do that to mine I will!

Who knows, maybe some time with zero contact will make them grow up a little?

That's actually... kinda how it works! Set up a situation in which you CAN'T talk to them, so that they cannot cry about you ignoring them. Something like, living in the rural countryside of Kenya, or something like that. They won't be mad at you for it. I mean, I had no internet, no phone. And pick a good reason to go, so that they will be some-what supportive! haha I mean, I did those things not to shed my parents off my back, but it was a pleasantly unexpected result!

[Alexapp]

1: Male
2: Male
3: I live alone
4: I call my parents maybe once a week to say hi but not really to check in.
5: no

I have always been rather independent and since I never got into any real trouble when I was a kid/teen, my parents gave me my space.

[timarie]

I have always been rather independent and since I never got into any real trouble when I was a kid/teen, my parents gave me my space.

Well, you're lucky you have cool parents... mine get upset over the smallest things and I have never gotten into any "real" trouble either growing up. Unless what you would call "real trouble" being daydreaming in class! I am actually almost as goody-good as they came, yet my parents still felt a need to tell me what to do all the time. It really has more to do with who your parents are, than to do with how we, as children, act. At least, that is how I feel about it.

[BonitaDDs]

Female
Female
Combination of alone and So
No but when he gets home I'm always there for him because i like so its not like where were you thing I love my parents but I am more independent we talk but not to check up on me.
My parents tried to be protective but I just did my own things when I was 13+ I do in some ways wish I had been a better daughter because now I know I should have listen it would have saved me from some bad situation s but I can't change the past and it all made me this woman I am.
My parents did well teaching me to be good person but couldn't change my need for freedom.