[loverstilly]

My mother used to scold me at least once a week, and basically she goes apes*** crazy. She screams and shouts and cries, and drags the whole saga until 3am in the morning, and she would be cold for the next 3 days.

Sometimes she throws objects, such as phones. She threw a phone on the floor once, chipping a tile. She also hit the bathroom door until it broke once, when I was hiding in the bathroom. Sometimes she would slap herself and scream. There was once she slapped herself until a vessel in her eye broke, during CHURCH CAMP.

My father always sided her, and asked me to kneel to her, kowtow to her and the both of them always say it is my fault.

This happened when I was young, from elementary school perhaps? until I went to college. Things are much better recently, and I didn't think much of it until recently, and I felt that I didn't do anything to deserve that. I mean what can I do as a kid/teen? I didn't steal/kill/bully others. Her reason? That I sulked. She still doesn't admit that she overdid it and treated me wrong.

Today she went crazy again, screaming and taking off her clothes.

I'm not saying that I don't love my mother. She's fine, but her temper is ridiculous and I can't take it anymore.

Anyone has advice as to what I can do? I really want to seek closure here, and stop feeling like I am responsible for her unhappiness.

Or do your parents do something equally hurtful, or worse?

[TibetanPrincess]

My mother used to scold me at least once a week, and basically she goes apes*** crazy. She screams and shouts and cries, and drags the whole saga until 3am in the morning, and she would be cold for the next 3 days.

Sometimes she throws objects, such as phones. She threw a phone on the floor once, chipping a tile. She also hit the bathroom door until it broke once, when I was hiding in the bathroom. Sometimes she would slap herself and scream. There was once she slapped herself until a vessel in her eye broke, during CHURCH CAMP.

My father always sided her, and asked me to kneel to her, kowtow to her and the both of them always say it is my fault.

This happened when I was young, from elementary school perhaps? until I went to college. Things are much better recently, and I didn't think much of it until recently, and I felt that I didn't do anything to deserve that. I mean what can I do as a kid/teen? I didn't steal/kill/bully others. Her reason? That I sulked. She still doesn't admit that she overdid it and treated me wrong.

Today she went crazy again, screaming and taking off her clothes.

I'm not saying that I don't love my mother. She's fine, but her temper is ridiculous and I can't take it anymore.

Anyone has advice as to what I can do? I really want to seek closure here, and stop feeling like I am responsible for her unhappiness.

Or do your parents do something equally hurtful, or worse?

Run for the hills! Id leave home as soon as I got the chance and never visit till she acted right. Those habits are subconsciously transferable to those around them. Not a healthy situation to be exposed to.

[prettylily]

I'm sorry you went through that. Your mother's anger management sounds unhealthy both to herself and to others around her. Please look after yourself.

As for your question, my mother has quite the temper, too, but I usually deserve it when she goes off on me. It's a lot better now that I've moved out, though.

[Outofstyle]

I'm sorry you had to deal with that. I had to deal with similar anger problems from my mom when I was younger. Just remember they are her problems, not yours, she is acting with a very unhealthy state of mind.

You should probably leave home like everyone else suggested, and go talk to a psychologist about how to heal from this and how to best confront your mother about it if that is what you need to heal. If you're in college, they probably have counsellors at your health center that you can talk to for free.

[Missed Miss]

My dad used to scream his head off at me for INCREDIBLY STUPID little nothings!! Sometimes it was the beer talking, like the night I put on a pot of water to boil so I could make Lipton noodle soup and he comes out into the kitchen and just starts right in!! "I don't know what you're cooking but it STRINKS!!!!" "It's pot of WATER, dad!!" "I don't care WHAT it is, it STINKS to high heaven!!!!"

But, I'd been the target of his wrath most of my life because NOTHING I could do was good enough for him. No matter HOW hard I tried to please him, I JUST couldn't do it well enough to make him happy, as far as he was concerned!!

One day in the late `80's, XTC put out a new album called, "Lemons And Oranges". On it was a song called, "Hold Me My Daddy". One night, after one of his tantrums, after he went to bed, I copied down the lyrics to that song in my own hand and left them at his place at the kitchen table. The next morning, he read them and we never had another major fight after that!! Over the last 17 or 18 years of his life, he got a BIT pissed at me maybe 3 or 4 more times, but it was NOTHING like the way he USED to do. At his funeral a few years ago, I played a recording of the song. A number of us were crying and I'm not sure I can ever hear it again without tearing up.

Maybe you can write it out for your mom ("Hold Me, My Mommy") and she'll settle down, too.

http://youtu.be/0nQodFegtqo

[loverstilly]

Thanks girls, but she's just downright crazy.

You can only stop her craziness by being like her, and go even crazier. I just knocked my head on the floor 10 times and slapped myself continuously for 100 times in an attempt to talk to her. It ALWAYS ends up this way. I HATE, and cannot emphasize enough this HATE the way she makes me become. I hate this part of myself, this part of my childhood and I only wish to erase that memory.

I swear to myself from today onwards I will not do those things in an attempt to solve any problems. I will talk about problems, and seek help from others if necessary, but NEVER again resort to these demonic gestures.

Actually right now at this moment, I don't think I want children anymore LOL.

I really only seek a resolution online because I am too ashamed to reveal this in my real identity, thanks a lot for listening

[loverstilly]

BUT YAY!!! Finally she admits today that she has a problem that causes her to act this way, although she refuses to seek help.

At least now I know that she's crazy because she's mental, and I don't have to put up with this shit anymore. I was young and didn't know how to fend for myself against a crazy person with a semi-mental disorder, but now I'm walking out with my own two feet.

[MissC]

Anyone has advice as to what I can do? I really want to seek closure here, and stop feeling like I am responsible for her unhappiness.

Well, you said it right there what you can do... STOP feeling responsible!

Holy cow. I'll say it. Your mom is batshit insane. That is not normal behavior, and it's not acceptable. Lots of people yell (doesn't make it right) but hitting herself is where it crosses the line into some serious brain warp.

If you're of age, move out, at least several states away. And be careful, because you're already carrying it with you.

[Wishin]

BUT YAY!!! Finally she admits today that she has a problem that causes her to act this way, although she refuses to seek help.

At least now I know that she's crazy because she's mental, and I don't have to put up with this shit anymore. I was young and didn't know how to fend for myself against a crazy person with a semi-mental disorder, but now I'm walking out with my own two feet.

Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry! This is not normal but there is help. If you can, find a support group in your area. I began Al-Anon due to my husband's addiction issues (his are not alcohol related but it was the only local group I could find) and I've learned more about dealing with my mom than anything. They teach us to healthily detach and really truly believe "we didn't cause this, we can't control it and we certainly can't cure it". It moves the focus off of others and on to taking care of yourself. I highly recommend it.

[ihatepd]

Im in ure same shoes and even worse.