[dreamergirl]

I know that not every NBE user deals with self hatred, I have seen some amazing positive and self loving attitudes on this site that I am very envious of.

But there is definitely a proportion of us here who are insecure because of our chests, and we might hate ourselves, so this is a thread about that.

I am not a conventional beauty, but I can let that go. I'm moderately attractive enough in my own unique way and I'll live with my face.

When it comes to my breasts on the other hand, I can't let it go. Thoughts about it consume me. I hate myself.

Being a small breasted woman makes me feel unworthy, worthless, invisible and unwanted in society.

How could I ever feel sexy when a large breasted woman can look sexier in a basic baggy t-shirt than I could ever look in the most sensual lingerie?

It eats away at me, my self esteem is borderline nonexistant. I know that I'd be treated better with larger breasts, even a small taste with a pushup bra gives me this experience.

I long for all of the little things... I've dreamt of them since my failed puberty.

I constantly daydream about what I would look like with large breasts, what I would do if I had large breasts, how confident and happy I'd be with large breasts, what I would wear if I had large breasts. And then I look down at my own chest... and my heart breaks at how far away I am.

Sometimes I feel like I don't want to exist anymore. Not if I'm stuck like this. I envy natural chests over plastic ones which is why I'm here with NBE, but can I really hope for a miracle? If it takes plastic surgery to save my life, I guess I have to take it. I wish I was one of the lucky ones who didn't even have to THINK about enhancing my chest... if I'd only been given a natural full chest. My life would be so different and so would my self esteem.

I try to put up a positive facade here but I hate myself.

If you have similar feelings you can vent in the comments.

[ShelaVenna]

I know that not every NBE user deals with self hatred, I have seen some amazing positive and self loving attitudes on this site that I am very envious of.

But there is definitely a proportion of us here who are insecure because of our chests, and we might hate ourselves, so this is a thread about that.

I am not a conventional beauty, but I can let that go. I'm moderately attractive enough in my own unique way and I'll live with my face.

When it comes to my breasts on the other hand, I can't let it go. Thoughts about it consume me. I hate myself.

Being a small breasted woman makes me feel unworthy, worthless, invisible and unwanted in society.

How could I ever feel sexy when a large breasted woman can look sexier in a basic baggy t-shirt than I could ever look in the most sensual lingerie?

It eats away at me, my self esteem is borderline nonexistant. I know that I'd be treated better with larger breasts, even a small taste with a pushup bra gives me this experience.

I long for all of the little things... I've dreamt of them since my failed puberty.

I constantly daydream about what I would look like with large breasts, what I would do if I had large breasts, how confident and happy I'd be with large breasts, what I would wear if I had large breasts. And then I look down at my own chest... and my heart breaks at how far away I am.

Sometimes I feel like I don't want to exist anymore. Not if I'm stuck like this. I envy natural chests over plastic ones which is why I'm here with NBE, but can I really hope for a miracle? If it takes plastic surgery to save my life, I guess I have to take it. I wish I was one of the lucky ones who didn't even have to THINK about enhancing my chest... if I'd only been given a natural full chest. My life would be so different and so would my self esteem.

I try to put up a positive facade here but I hate myself.

If you have similar feelings you can vent in the comments.

I apologize if I’m crossing some sort of line here, but have you spoken to a professional about this? I know not everyone has that opportunity, but it could be worth looking in to. If you already have, and you just need another safe place to vent, just ignore me. Maybe you already know this, but it seems like you might have body dysmorphia. Anorexia is what most people think of when they hear “body dysmorphia”, but it’s not the only kind. Just because you want to be curvy, which is the exact opposite of what most anorexics want, doesn’t mean your not dealing with very similar thoughts and fears. Maybe a psychologist, counselor, or support group who specializes in body dysmorphia can help you, even if they normally only work with people who have eating disorders. I don’t know about your financial situation, your insurance, or what country you live in, so I’m not sure if free or affordable counseling is available to you,  but it can’t hurt to check.

[dreamergirl]

I know that not every NBE user deals with self hatred, I have seen some amazing positive and self loving attitudes on this site that I am very envious of.

But there is definitely a proportion of us here who are insecure because of our chests, and we might hate ourselves, so this is a thread about that.

I am not a conventional beauty, but I can let that go. I'm moderately attractive enough in my own unique way and I'll live with my face.

When it comes to my breasts on the other hand, I can't let it go. Thoughts about it consume me. I hate myself.

Being a small breasted woman makes me feel unworthy, worthless, invisible and unwanted in society.

How could I ever feel sexy when a large breasted woman can look sexier in a basic baggy t-shirt than I could ever look in the most sensual lingerie?

It eats away at me, my self esteem is borderline nonexistant. I know that I'd be treated better with larger breasts, even a small taste with a pushup bra gives me this experience.

I long for all of the little things... I've dreamt of them since my failed puberty.

I constantly daydream about what I would look like with large breasts, what I would do if I had large breasts, how confident and happy I'd be with large breasts, what I would wear if I had large breasts. And then I look down at my own chest... and my heart breaks at how far away I am.

Sometimes I feel like I don't want to exist anymore. Not if I'm stuck like this. I envy natural chests over plastic ones which is why I'm here with NBE, but can I really hope for a miracle? If it takes plastic surgery to save my life, I guess I have to take it. I wish I was one of the lucky ones who didn't even have to THINK about enhancing my chest... if I'd only been given a natural full chest. My life would be so different and so would my self esteem.

I try to put up a positive facade here but I hate myself.

If you have similar feelings you can vent in the comments.

I apologize if I’m crossing some sort of line here, but have you spoken to a professional about this? I know not everyone has that opportunity, but it could be worth looking in to. If you already have, and you just need another safe place to vent, just ignore me. Maybe you already know this, but it seems like you might have body dysmorphia. Anorexia is what most people think of when they hear “body dysmorphia”, but it’s not the only kind. Just because you want to be curvy, which is the exact opposite of what most anorexics want, doesn’t mean your not dealing with very similar thoughts and fears. Maybe a psychologist, counselor, or support group who specializes in body dysmorphia can help you, even if they normally only work with people who have eating disorders. I don’t know about your financial situation, your insurance, or what country you live in, so I’m not sure if free or affordable counseling is available to you,  but it can’t hurt to check.

Thank you. I have been told a few times, including close friends who know me well, that I may have a case of BDD. I'm terrified to go to a doctor with it though and I know from experience that I cannot open up or verbalise at all in therapy.  Typing like this is the only way I can speak how I feel, I physically can't talk about my problems I become mute or I just cry if I attempt it.

[Happyme]

Hi Dreamergirl,

I'm sorry to know you are so depressed. I'm ashamed that i didnt understand how much until now. I am the eternal optimist so I have a habit of always seeing the other better, or at least the other side of life.

I used to struggle with, who am I, why am I here, why am I always on the bottom, etc. I spent lots of money and lots of time with self help programs and life coaches.

In my travels I found Mike Dooley. Here is his link

https://club.tut.com/membership?noPopup=1

This is a membership that will cost you a little to join but his wisdom is easy to follow and brilliant.

He also sends out 'notes from the universe' every weekday for free and everyone hits the mark for me,

https://www.tut.com/account/quicksignup?noPopup=1

One of his more important lessons is that if you continue to see the world as a problem and its dark, then you will fall farther and farther into the pit of despair!

So a simple lesson is to change your view, even if you feel its not true, just try it. Wake each morning and tell yourself it will be a beautiful day, the sun is shining or its a lovely rain or snow. What ever you have make it a positive thing.

If you feel yourself falling down during the day, find something beautiful or nice and comment on it.

Before you know it you too will be a lot happier with a better disposition.

As for your friend I dont think he wanted to get rid of you, because you have small breasts. Maybe you should ask him why he sent you away, it might have been to keep you safe from corona, or he didnt want to share you with his friends, or its a guy thing.

And lastly look at the fashion models as they walk the walkway in their amazing dresses. 99% are as flat as can be, and they are all gorgeous!

So toss those sweat pants and jazz up the whole dreamer girl for the world, and mostly YOU, to enjoy.

Alright my job is done now its your turn.

Huggs

Bobbi

[dreamergirl]

Hi Dreamergirl,

I'm sorry to know you are so depressed. I'm ashamed that i didnt understand how much until now. I am the eternal optimist so I have a habit of always seeing the other better, or at least the other side of life.

I used to struggle with, who am I, why am I here, why am I always on the bottom, etc. I spent lots of money and lots of time with self help programs and life coaches.

In my travels I found Mike Dooley. Here is his link

https://club.tut.com/membership?noPopup=1

This is a membership that will cost you a little to join but his wisdom is easy to follow and brilliant.

He also sends out 'notes from the universe' every weekday for free and everyone hits the mark for me,

https://www.tut.com/account/quicksignup?noPopup=1

One of his more important lessons is that if you continue to see the world as a problem and its dark, then you will fall farther and farther into the pit of despair!

So a simple lesson is to change your view, even if you feel its not true, just try it. Wake each morning and tell yourself it will be a beautiful day, the sun is shining or its a lovely rain or snow. What ever you have make it a positive thing.

If you feel yourself falling down during the day, find something beautiful or nice and comment on it.

Before you know it you too will be a lot happier with a better disposition.

As for your friend I dont think he wanted to get rid of you, because you have small breasts. Maybe you should ask him why he sent you away, it might have been to keep you safe from corona, or he didnt want to share you with his friends, or its a guy thing.

And lastly look at the fashion models as they walk the walkway in their amazing dresses. 99% are as flat as can be, and they are all gorgeous!

So toss those sweat pants and jazz up the whole dreamer girl for the world, and mostly YOU, to enjoy.

Alright my job is done now its your turn.

Huggs

Bobbi

Thank you for taking such time to respond to me. I really do want to try and have a more positive outlook.

The truth is, I don't find petite/skinny to be beautiful. I don't find skinny models to be beautiful either... when I look at them I see features similar to my own, that I hate, so it reflects on them too. Of course I would never say that to upset anybody, it's just down to my own personal view from my self hatred. I hope one day I won't feel like this anymore, but having large breasts seems to be the only way to self love.

[koyasha]

Hi,

I definitely deal with a lot of self-hatred because of my breasts and I can't talk to anyone about the lengths that I have gone to. I told a friend (online, not face-to-face) and at first he recommended I go see a doctor, then he wanted to stop talking to me altogether because he said he couldn't take it and in the end he even said he was thinking about copying my texts and sending them to MY MOM!

I am an adult, so there is nothing that she could possibly do, but I don't want her to suffer and I knew she would because she's my mom and doesn't want to see me suffer.

I constantly look at other women's chests, sometimes I have to watch a whole part of a show again because all I did was stare at the woman's chest. (Does anyone watch The bold and the beautiful? Flo in her bathing suit yesterday! Omg. And so embarrassing, but 13-yr-old(!) Faith on the young and the restless in that beige knitted sweater with the short sleeves.. boob envy and she's barely even a teenager, hiding my head). Yea, that's really all I seem to notice these days.

As some of you might know, my breasts are very different sizes and because of the fact that they are tubular, one of them has been very saggy all my life and the other one just very small. The difference in size wasn't as much the problem as the shape, the heaviness and just everything about that big breast that I hated even more than the small breast. Because after all, I didn't even feel the small one being there, whereas this disgusting heavy thing was just hanging around, I could literally feel it weighing me down mentally because of it's weight. It was very mobile on top of everything (ugh) and the nipple pointed straight downward and it would make moving, exercising and everything else a pain in the ass because it would either find its way out of the bra that I was wearing or my whole top would just wander to the side of this breast. And for some reason I hated this big saggy way more than the seemingly non-existing thing on the other side. Which might not make sense, given that I want my small breast to grow, it was this heaviness on one side compared to feeling nothing on the other side that bothered me.
*warning, this might be a bit graphic and includes self-harm"

I lost a lot of weight a couple of years ago and went down to 68.8 lbs, so both of my breasts were pretty much gone. Which no doubt was ugly, but at least I couldn't feel what was bothering me so much anymore. I could just ignore the ugliness of my breasts by not looking at them, you can't ignore what you feel. So a few years down the road I gained most of the weight back and it bothered me even more, after all these years of having been free from this disgusting feeling.

At some point last year I was fed up and with my long history of self-harm, I decided to just cut a piece of the skin of this saggy thing off. So I did it and have done so three times thus far, giving myself stitches after. My hatred for my breasts is so intense, I don't even care about the scars or the pain, there are times where I just can't stand it and have to do something. I have no such hatred for my small boob, even though this is the one that I am targeting with NBE. Maybe because there still IS hope for my small breast to grow. I try to creat an underboob with small Kangzhu cups for my big breast, but that doesn't help with this extreme sagging. Maybe that's why I hate it so much, because it's beyond repair. a before and an after of my personal "ops" for those who don't judge 

And no psychologist or psychiatrist or whatever is going to change that. I don't want to go to a shrink who is trying to make me believe that I am beautiful in all my deformed deformity. Cause I am not and I sure as hell don't plan on going bra-less because I accept myself the way I am. How could I? Anyone who is trying to brainwash me into thinking me that THIS is beautiful has a problem, not me. No offense, I know people mean well.

I know that I probably have a problem, but how can you not when you look like this? And no, I don't want implants or anything. I don't want to undergo surgery in general unless I am the one performing it. I don't want my breasts to look good with the help of plastic surgery and somehow this is different. I want my small breast to grow naturally, well through pumping, so as natural as can be. 

I don't plan on dating again, which takes away some of the pressure. Doesn't take away the self-hatred, just makes it easier, at least one thing I won't have to worry about. 
But still, I am sad that I had to end up this way in the first place and have to take measures like this to stay sane. 

I am just very frustrated and depressed because of all of this. My breasts have had such a huge impact on my life so far. ugh

[dreamergirl]

Hi,

I definitely deal with a lot of self-hatred because of my breasts and I can't talk to anyone about the lengths that I have gone to. I told a friend (online, not face-to-face) and at first he recommended I go see a doctor, then he wanted to stop talking to me altogether because he said he couldn't take it and in the end he even said he was thinking about copying my texts and sending them to MY MOM!

I am an adult, so there is nothing that she could possibly do, but I don't want her to suffer and I knew she would because she's my mom and doesn't want to see me suffer.

I constantly look at other women's chests, sometimes I have to watch a whole part of a show again because all I did was stare at the woman's chest. (Does anyone watch The bold and the beautiful? Flo in her bathing suit yesterday! Omg. And so embarrassing, but 13-yr-old(!) Faith on the young and the restless in that beige knitted sweater with the short sleeves.. boob envy and she's barely even a teenager, hiding my head). Yea, that's really all I seem to notice these days.

As some of you might know, my breasts are very different sizes and because of the fact that they are tubular, one of them has been very saggy all my life and the other one just very small. The difference in size wasn't as much the problem as the shape, the heaviness and just everything about that big breast that I hated even more than the small breast. Because after all, I didn't even feel the small one being there, whereas this disgusting heavy thing was just hanging around, I could literally feel it weighing me down mentally because of it's weight. It was very mobile on top of everything (ugh) and the nipple pointed straight downward and it would make moving, exercising and everything else a pain in the ass because it would either find its way out of the bra that I was wearing or my whole top would just wander to the side of this breast. And for some reason I hated this big saggy way more than the seemingly non-existing thing on the other side. Which might not make sense, given that I want my small breast to grow, it was this heaviness on one side compared to feeling nothing on the other side that bothered me.
*warning, this might be a bit graphic and includes self-harm"

I lost a lot of weight a couple of years ago and went down to 68.8 lbs, so both of my breasts were pretty much gone. Which no doubt was ugly, but at least I couldn't feel what was bothering me so much anymore. I could just ignore the ugliness of my breasts by not looking at them, you can't ignore what you feel. So a few years down the road I gained most of the weight back and it bothered me even more, after all these years of having been free from this disgusting feeling.

At some point last year I was fed up and with my long history of self-harm, I decided to just cut a piece of the skin of this saggy thing off. So I did it and have done so three times thus far, giving myself stitches after. My hatred for my breasts is so intense, I don't even care about the scars or the pain, there are times where I just can't stand it and have to do something. I have no such hatred for my small boob, even though this is the one that I am targeting with NBE. Maybe because there still IS hope for my small breast to grow. I try to creat an underboob with small Kangzhu cups for my big breast, but that doesn't help with this extreme sagging. Maybe that's why I hate it so much, because it's beyond repair. a before and an after of my personal "ops" for those who don't judge 

And no psychologist or psychiatrist or whatever is going to change that. I don't want to go to a shrink who is trying to make me believe that I am beautiful in all my deformed deformity. Cause I am not and I sure as hell don't plan on going bra-less because I accept myself the way I am. How could I? Anyone who is trying to brainwash me into thinking me that THIS is beautiful has a problem, not me. No offense, I know people mean well.

I know that I probably have a problem, but how can you not when you look like this? And no, I don't want implants or anything. I don't want to undergo surgery in general unless I am the one performing it. I don't want my breasts to look good with the help of plastic surgery and somehow this is different. I want my small breast to grow naturally, well through pumping, so as natural as can be. 

I don't plan on dating again, which takes away some of the pressure. Doesn't take away the self-hatred, just makes it easier, at least one thing I won't have to worry about. 
But still, I am sad that I had to end up this way in the first place and have to take measures like this to stay sane. 

I am just very frustrated and depressed because of all of this. My breasts have had such a huge impact on my life so far. ugh

I'm very sorry to hear of your struggle koyasha I could really feel your pain when I read this message.

I know that I can't necessarily help you but I'm wishing you the best to find happiness and love in yourself.

The fact that you are here and trying with NBE is a positive step, it means you have hope that things can be better.

I can relate to the boob envy of even girls in early puberty who are doing better than me as an adult (so depressing), and the impact it had on my life, things could have been so different and thats frustrating to think about, because we were just born this way.  Why can't society show some true equal love to all types of boobs?
Also, have you ever looked at that natural boob gallery site? I can find the link if not. I saw it here and it was very eye opening. All kinds of boobs there, not just the perfect ones you see on TV and the internet.

[Happyme]

Phew,

Both of you girls are tough to crack! But i love you anyways.

I'm not an advocate for implants but sometimes this is a better route.

I had a friend that was born with a short leg.

He wore a special shoe and did exercises to stretch his leg from the time he was 6 until after graduating high school.

I lost touch with him till after college and we met up together after about 5 years.

When I saw him walking towards me I was amazed that he was upright, no dragging a 5lb boot and quite confident in his carriage!

What happened to you I asked?

After all those years of trying to stretch his leg he met someone in college that told him of a "bone Dr" that could fix him up.

He resisted because I felt he could fix it himself.

He finally gave in and had the operation.

Now he only regrets that he was so stubborn didn't do this sooner. He missed out on so much life by hating himself and just being a recluse.

Its not good to hate your self or a body part. Get it fixed.

There is fat transfer which is a bit safer than implants.

I'm trying

Huggs Bobbi

[dreamergirl]

Phew,

Both of you girls are tough to crack! But i love you anyways.

I'm not an advocate for implants but sometimes this is a better route.

I had a friend that was born with a short leg.

He wore a special shoe and did exercises to stretch his leg from the time he was 6 until after graduating high school.

I lost touch with him till after college and we met up together after about 5 years.

When I saw him walking towards me I was amazed that he was upright, no dragging a 5lb boot and quite confident in his carriage!

What happened to you I asked?

After all those years of trying to stretch his leg he met someone in college that told him of a "bone Dr" that could fix him up.

He resisted because I felt he could fix it himself.

He finally gave in and had the operation.

Now he only regrets that he was so stubborn didn't do this sooner. He missed out on so much life by hating himself and just being a recluse.

Its not good to hate your self or a body part. Get it fixed.

There is fat transfer which is a bit safer than implants.

I'm trying

Huggs Bobbi

You're right. I think that it would solve my problem but I'm wary of creating new problems, either health problems or mental problems. I always fear that if it's an unnatural part of my body, I won't feel a true self esteem boost and it might cause me to feel even worse about myself mentally. I don't know though, maybe you're right and I'd only wish that I did it sooner and had my dream body without wasting years hating myself.

[Happyme]

Phew,

Both of you girls are tough to crack! But i love you anyways.

I'm not an advocate for implants but sometimes this is a better route.

I had a friend that was born with a short leg.

He wore a special shoe and did exercises to stretch his leg from the time he was 6 until after graduating high school.

I lost touch with him till after college and we met up together after about 5 years.

When I saw him walking towards me I was amazed that he was upright, no dragging a 5lb boot and quite confident in his carriage!

What happened to you I asked?

After all those years of trying to stretch his leg he met someone in college that told him of a "bone Dr" that could fix him up.

He resisted because I felt he could fix it himself.

He finally gave in and had the operation.

Now he only regrets that he was so stubborn didn't do this sooner. He missed out on so much life by hating himself and just being a recluse.

Its not good to hate your self or a body part. Get it fixed.

There is fat transfer which is a bit safer than implants.

I'm trying

Huggs Bobbi

You're right. I think that it would solve my problem but I'm wary of creating new problems, either health problems or mental problems. I always fear that if it's an unnatural part of my body, I won't feel a true self esteem boost and it might cause me to feel even worse about myself mentally. I don't know though, maybe you're right and I'd only wish that I did it sooner and had my dream body without wasting years hating myself.

Maybe look into the fat transfer. Its all natural and its all you .

They suck the fat out of places you want to thin down and put it in places that you want it to be.

I'm sure you will see lots of horror stories about the process but just put them in your knowledge bank and focus on the good ones.

Research the doctors and ask lots of questions.

Its vital for you to learn to love your body and actually the WHOLE you. There is a beautiful world out here if you look for it and enjoy it.

Huggs

Bobbi